Outsourcing; often results in a worse service that costs more than using your own staff

No

Charlie Nicholas

What a bellend

How about Whoa Christian Benteke to the tune of free Nelson Mandela by the special Aka (or is that the Villa one)

Nope

Must have had water in my ears !

Didn't hear them either

Arsenal

People who wear monocles. There was a bloke wearing one on the District Line this morning. it got on my proverbials.

I say old chap!
My dear old thing.

just about acceptable if you are geriatric but otherwise, just no

You know most of us live miles from hipsterville don't you? 😄

I've never actually seen one, but the thread mentioning their existence annoyed me ...

Cat cafes.

The bloke wearing the one I saw today would have no idea where hipsterville is. I would bet a penny or two on him wearing red trousers at the weekend.

Footballers who, when they score, point up to the sky. Where are the devil worshippers?

Charlton, Brighton, Manchester Utd, Millwall and Chelsea.

They wouldn't be cool enough for Old Nick. I just want to see someone scream to the cameras Hail Satan or something like that.

I can't believe God is remotely bothered whether Toby Alderweireld has scored a goal but, if Suarez scored, bit a chunk out of the opposition defenders arm and made an offering of that in celebration I think the Devil could be impressed.

Apart from Benteke of course .....

Insects.
Been bitten to f*ckery the last few days.

Absolutely bound to have been mentioned on this thread before, so sorry for the duplication but...

Estate Agents.

People who offer to take some of your work off you to help, and then spend the rest of the day asking you question about how to do it!

Short sighted I know... but still very frustrating.

I am currently in a place where it is 31 during the day and drops all the way down to 30.5 at night. Also humid as ****.

Thankfully no insects though. Pollution like you wouldn't believe but no insects. And I was expecting many many mosquitoes.

Spose its the pollution that killed all the mossies off :D

Sounds like some clubs we used to go in in Croydon back when!

The popularity of Bake Off. I just don't get it. Is it a middle class middle age Society supplement of the Guardian type ting?

I hope on Channel 4 its becomes The great British Kark off, in which contestants make hash cakes and everyone lies on beanbags babbling ****.

Agree with you here.

On the odd time I've watched it, that Mel and Sue double act makes me cringe. Their smutty remarks are out of place in a programme like this. And that Hollywood guy is a pretentious prick imvho.

And as for the BBC, their part in that programme sucks. Ever willing to pander to the politically correct, they appear to have raised last year's winner up on a pedestal of glory for the ethnic minorities. Why haven't previous winners been awarded the accolades of their own TV programmes on the beeb and had their names put to books?

Same goes to masterchef winners, can't see many of them with their own TV programmes. Previous winners of other programmes must be pretty pissed off.

Got to agree mate. I realise it's a bit sad, but I love a cookery programme. However, the popularity of 'Bake Off' is a mystery to me. I can't understand why anybody who doesn't enter WI competitions would actually choose to watch it. Smug, middle class b0llocks.

I think you're being too simplistic here.

She's a charismatic character, with a bit of that X factor that makes her more memorable than many previous winners.

Her ethnicity probably did make her initially someone who the media were interested in, but that would have soon worn off by now. She's fun, likeable and willing to talk about her life experiences.

Her programme about returning to Bangladesh was interesting and she was honest about how that experience has stirred up questions /doubts in her own mind.

But beyond the BBC, she's appeared on many ITV programmes, magazines etc, so there is considerable interest in her.....can't blame her for accepting the work whilst it's on offer.

The women on either side of me on the train both applying slap.

Me

And the ones who prattle about in the centre circle pre-match trying to get some divine blessing and intervention for the next 90 minutes.

Don't the other 21 players deserve a slice of that almighty luck, too?

Plenty of other contestants (not just winners) on each show have had books published / newspaper columns / made a living demonstrating how to cook.

Being treated like an absolute ****** by TV adverts .... This has long become a grating issue for me, every TV advert seems to be treating the audience like they are 10 years old, can't you just advertise to a dignified audience instead of having dogs, babies, shit music, patronising voice overs ... the crème de la crème coming from Virgin's new advert with 7 year olds telling 'grown ups' what to watch.

:veryangry Female colleague having fan heater going under desk and heating whole area as the "aircon is so cold" Put a cardy on love if you re cold on such a hot day while the rest of us swelter

Peeps are doing my head in with newspapers.Why approach a stack of identical `new` newspapers then take the one forth or fith down making a mess of those on top.

And why do peeps get off trains with the free Metro`s then chuck them on the escalators??????

Not even telling you what to watch - it's making out you can't even turn the TV on...

On the flipside, our ridiculously cold a-c is annoying when it's a gorgeous day outside. And it's making me ill. I'd happily have no a-c and use a fan if I get too hot.

On packed commuter trains, people who are standing leaning against the floor to ceiling handrails so that others standing cannot hang onto them (which is what I believe they were designed for)!

Paul McKenna talking about his new golf app and sounding just like Mike Smash

thank god for Sky+ and Kodi

:D I heard that, switched off when he said something about how he wakes in the morning and just wonders what good he can give the world.

A £4.99 golf app it seems.

Probably said this before but people who answer a question with " yeah, no, its..."
What in ****s name is that supposed to mean?

And a particularly annoying new one - people who confuse "bought" with "brought. How is that even possible but the idiots do...

Did you ever notice how Pulis often answers his questions with 'Nah...' even when he then goes on to agree with the question. I swear he just (probably subconsciously) wants to start every conversation telling the other person they are wrong in order to think he has the power over the other person.

Getting a bag of ice home, to find lumps of three or four cubes.

Bastards. I have to use a pint glass now.:lux:

Bought some jam doughnuts tonight- got home to find a ******* fly in them- straight in the bin..

I wasn't that desperate for a doughnut!

Moved house last month.........

The previous occupants left their fridge with a built in ice machine........ooh the luxury.:sunglasses:

[QUOTE=Sharkba1t;13227797
And a particularly annoying new one - people who confuse "bought" with "brought. How is that even possible but the idiots do...
[/QUOTE]
Didn't really notice this before but now you've bought it to my attention...

speaking of doughnuts, when you get a bag of them and they go a bit hard. Might as well chuck them, they're just not the same

Both slappers, then.

Getting on the train, about to tuck in to some tasty tea. A minute before its due to go some sweaty overweight bloke decides to nab the seat next to you. His BO puts you off your food and by the time you get to your destination both the food and the bloke have become rank.

People who eat stinky food on trains. Why don't you go to a f*cking restaurant or wait until you get home?

I don't want to smell your f*cking awful choice of food or have to endure your dreadful eating habits when I'm simply trying to get from A to B in the least objectionable way.

20 seconds in the microwave, good as new

The stupid jumping up and down fifa15 cgi type crowd in the background of the Europa league pundit team.

Tom Ince

A drunken Burger King on a deserted late train home is one thing.

People who decide to tuck into a full portion of chow mein or a baked potato covered in coleslaw with a plastic fork are something else.

Another train thing is my morning commute being taken over by irritating sixth form college kids, all dressed like they are going for a night out, shouting and talking complete drivel, trying to be cool and generally disturbing me. I accept that this probably more down to me being old and jealous of their youthfulness than anything else.

Arsenal and Man Utd fans at work talking 'footie' at work. In other words talking about what they watched on MOTD. Worse is when they try and involve me in a rather condescending way, as obviously I don't support a proper team.

That cheap jam they use always warms up and tastes even worse.

Nicole Kidman.

Sinuses and popping ears.

People who set up automatic replies on their emails when they're away for just one day. Get the **** over yourself you ******* buffoon.

The bloke sitting next to me on the train eating garlic bread

Presumably his mate is eating cheese cake?

Drunken burger king..

Mmm could crave a BK Double, but my useless town doesn't have them..

Being an old fart is another thing that sucks- mirrors too, the years have not been kind and it's not nice to see a balding fatass every day

It's depressing, pass me another ******* doughnut

Garlic bread? On a train?

what a ****

Fair point, well made. Although in my defence it was a pasta salad! #firstworldproblems

You f*cker. I hate the smell of lettuce.

Lettuce- what is the actual point?

I hate the maccy d's advert, where the bloke goes crisp batavia lettuce..

It's ******* lettuce, it sucks, ******* ****

Bide your time till we eventually beat one of them again.

Makes you think you're eating something healthy without the ordeal of broccoli?

Thanks Stellavista. Your idea worked.:p

Those 'people' that not only think it's okay to get in a lift and stand in front of the buttons, but also act like you've ruined their whole day when you ask them to move so you can press a button.

I swear to God it's ****wits like this that make me believe ISIS is doing the world a favour.

People at a bus stop who stand by the benches, blocking the view of people sitting down
Not only are the selfish cnuts preventing somebody else from sitting but people can't see their fcuking buses coming :veryangry

Cigar smokers in public places.

I had an idea? That's unusual in itself.

People who continue to walk behind your car as you reverse out of your driveway or a parking space

Things that annoy you
 

Attachment 47333

F--king itchy, bastard, wanky psoriasis.

I don't want to f--king over produce skin cells you stupid f--king body. It's not clever or cool so sort it out as it itches to f--k.

Thank you.

Sort them out then.

Ask if they go to games regularly. If the typical answer is no, tell them they are know-nothing plastics and they should keep their shit opinions about football to themselves.

Bosses who offer insults in pay negotiations

You can microwave them for 30 seconds. They come up fresh again, but you need to eat them quickly, cos they go hard again. Mind out for the jam though, that get firkin hot.:p

Same as people who eat smelly fish in a staff lunch area. Should be outlawed. Have we got a Pooooo smiley?

I am prepared to bet his ManUre supporting colleague wouldn't even know the way to Old Trafford

I think I'm right in saying we haven't beaten Manure in the league since 1991, and Arsenal since 1994.

To say we are over due a victory...

What is this hold they both have over us?!

"I'm giving you a 15% pay rise and I'd like to be able to call your mum a slag every day, you fat c*nt".

My company that cancels its Global sales conference in Orlando blaming the Zika virus rather than being honest and saying it's to save $$$$

Finally getting a Saturday free, only to find our game is on Sunday.

Union members at work who hark on about how wonderful the union is because it has organised them to still be on final salary pension plans as they have been there donkeys years.The union who is so wonderful that people who are quite new to the organisation but have done more than a few years service don't get a full percentage increase like the brand new people but they get half but can wait for it..................get an exclusive tour of where they work for 90 minutes but you do get refreshments! Glad I don't pay my subs.

Acid indigestion.

Lansoprazole 30mg. One a day and don't get a hint anymore.

Prostate ads while i'm eating pizza

This is why McShitfoods eaters are fat wankers.

Look on the plus side. You are sitting on said bench, when the "selfish cnuts" standing right in front of you, just happens to have a great arse. Perfect view.

Very nearly the perfect answer, you need to also call them wankers.

I'll try and find that here.

Someone on another thread writing "airplanes" instead of "aeroplanes".

Martin Tyler

Krishnan Guru-Murthy…what a wayne Kerr!

Or Omeprazole.....

Down to 15 mg now......:p

:grrr: Myself..and not accept the passing of time as I should as in sitting here getting wasted by a number of means then seeing an advert for Penelope Keith's Hidden Villages and thinking I must watch that next week.

Note to self: Make your mind up about lifes path.

Putting socks on after the gym when my skin is moist.

these with bells on!

Any proton pump inhibitor. Whoever discovered them needs a Nobel prize.

You had better be able to find them Peter, otherwise I'm going to have to bring a suitcase full.

The return of Daddy Long Legs,surely the most pointless animal ever. I reckon tiger's,elephants etc will become extinct and these feckers will still be around.