Blimey, a little caption came up suggesting I watched a woman urinate on the American flag. After a great deal of consideration, I opted out.

That bloke is a such ****, even his dogs were embarrassed to be seen with him, they were trying to get home asap.

I see, that's the 'hero' Millwall fans are lionising.

Alsation: d-a-a-a-d .... your embarassing

Spending half an hour watering plants and the grass cos there's been no rain for a week and I've put some feed and weed on.

And now it's absolutely smashing it down

FFS

People who say math instead of maths , when will this vile Americanisation stop?
Also those who endlessly talk about their golf round , yawn yawn

I've gotten used to it

Those fecking c-units who released that virus last week.
120 windows desktops and all our physical and virtual servers infected (40) - and that's just my site.

Yes, I'm on overtime - but the 4 hours tops a night sleep are doing me in. Had to have an early night.

Americans and their obsession with God.

I've got a Facebook feed full of a dead 3-day old baby, with people saying how she's safe now with "her Lord" and how the parents were "blessed" to have had her.

What the **** is wrong with people that in 2017 they still think there is a magical imaginary being in the sky who decides if we live or die?

Facebook

******* shitist thing ever invented

Yeah, me too, and I had a nett 67 today that would have been better if my ball hadn't plugged in the greenside bunker on the 8th long par 3 and taken a wicked kick off the 14th fairway into the lateral hazard so I had to hit a full gap wedge over the tree between me and the green. Then my sharply breaking 14 ft putt lipped out!

Yep, I feel the same about adults in crocs

I suppose this weather highlights it but you would think in this day and age you could go to a supermarket and buy a cold beer. Even in winter no matter ne wants a warm lager (not that I drink lager mind).

You can only get away with wearing crocs if you wear them with shorts and socks, then and only then, is it ok.

You need to take 2 shots off your golf game.

Heart attack in the making I would say...

They get you both ways... if the baby had been sick and recovered they would be saying their prayers were answered and it was the power of prayer that saved her.

My only comment usually is if there is a God he's got a sick sense of humour.

God bless America


(sounds of retching)

Good one, though just topped by people on social media insisting on telling us how far they have just run...........for the love of god why?

Well yes indeed. And no praise for the work of the doctors and nurses who might've saved that person, either.

God blesses America. God saves our queen... Mr Hog is right, if there is a God, he's got a strange sense of humour! :D

Overly patriotic American's with their land of the free bullshit. More deluded than North Korea that lot

Overuse of the word 'humble'.

As in the 'humble baked bean'.

Fvck off with your cap-doffing haricot imagery.

http://news.sky.com/story/amp/sky-vi...tters-10939907

...or those sweaty gits then getting on public transport at the end of their amazing feat of putting one foot in front of another in quick succession.

Have a shower.

Tradesmen. Do they work on a different clock to the rest of the world?

"I'll be there at 8"

"Do you mean 8 in the real world, or 8 in tradesman speak?"

I'm just glad it's not me paying this numpty.

They also appear to have an inability to stand straight, preferring to lean their sweaty-selves all over the bars the rest of us need to hold onto. Rank.

One sweaty idiot was actually doing his "stretches" in the vestibule on the train yesterday morning. Touching his toes and everything.

"Pleeease look at me everyone" It was basically a public wank.

There is a woman on my train every morning, in full business dress, who does yoga-type stretches for the 8 minute journey. Train is usually fairly quiet the time I go in, but still...

Plumbers. I get that it's a reasonably skilled profession, and fair enough if you're mucking around with boilers and gas pipes, that's something that needs to be done properly and requires training and certification.

However I just got quoted £220 to replace a flush siphon & button, and fix a leaking bath waste pipe. I know that I could do this myself with a bit of help from youtube, but it was worth say £60-80 to save my time and the hassle. But £220? It can't be more than an hours work for someone who does it every day.

It's the equivalent of me trying to charge £220 to build an app that consists of a button that makes a 'kerching' sound when you click it. Yes, most people couldn't do it, but to anyone who can program it's a 5-minute job and you wouldn't take the piss and charge £220 for it.

Plus half of them don't actually do a good job hence you have to find another one to fix their shoddy work.

People who bring babies into the office. I have better things to be doing than pretending your child is cute and not annoying

Look inside the cistern take a photo of the flush valve and try to find it on google or even amazon. if you get the same one, you should only have to twist it anti clockwise and lift out, then reverse the procedure.

If it's just the trap that needs changing, again match it up for something similar in size - it's p!ss easy. You should be paying approximately £25/35 for the materials.

Cheers, will do that. As a wise man called Superhans once said, "Plumbing's just f-cking Lego. Water Lego".

My son's leaving assembly at primary. My wife's gone gallivanting around London, so it's left for me to go. I wouldn't mind just the assembly, but some bastard from the parent association has, instead of the regular disco, decided to have a beach party where all the parents have to go. I ******* hate mingling with other parents, I'm sure they're fine outside of the school scenario, but ffs.

:)

There are a few banana skins in plumbing, but with these bits you should be fine.

Now, this kerching app, tell me more.

Not being allowed to wear shorts to work in this weather whilst the women in the office are dressed in the skimpest outfits regardless of the fact that the majority are middle aged and over weight. In fact the only good looking young one in our office is in a sensible unrevealling sundress so can't even perve at her

People putting their monthly shop through the self-service checkouts at lunchtime.

That was a bug bare for years when i worked in an office.

preach

Why don't you do what those kids at a school in Exeter did recently and go to work in a skirt? They couldn't object.

I have been known to wear skirts and dresses in the past.

Yes, you can. You've just got to be more creative. The reason that she's wearing a long flowing sundress is to hide the fact that she's probably not got any knickers on. :p

Very true. Even when my wife bought ours in, I closed my door and tried to avoid them :D

Go on then. What's the downside?

If the office is that hot, he'd be able to tell by the smell...no?

Useless without pictures.

Unfortunately these occasions were mostly before the advent of digital photography, and therefore what pictures exist are probably stashed at the bottom of a drawer somewhere

I remember your mum bringing you into the Woolpack when you were a baby, I had to do some pretending :angel:

Can't believe it was 24 years ago:eek:

I've met Civil Eagle. Hard to believe he would go to such lengths just to be cool in the office. They need to be found and scanned or i'll just believe he was drunk when he posted this.

Not getting rained off today, I was soaked.

At 1:20 in the afternoon!?

Living in an age of equality. I've got a pile of ironing to do!

Could have flounced out of his stuffy office at 11am.

I'm pretty sure I don't have any, there might be some back at Mum's, but it's more likely that the only photographic evidence will belong to people we're no longer in touch with. You're just going to have to take my word for it

I wasn't drunk when I posted this nor when I wore the free flowing clothes of the fairer sex. As to photos I'm not sure any exist, I do know that a Northern Irish rugby player got a surprise after he brought me a pint whilst I was in a leather mini

We'll I am a civil servant

POETS day.

The ongoing Southern Rail overtime ban

:D

Was it when you said 'cheers darling' in a gruff voice? :) And is Mr Statto your brother? I do agree with your initial point about shorts though. There should be some sort of summer dress (not that sort) policy for everyone for June till August. Coppers and the forces have one.

I'm annoyed by how in this weather, the sweat in your pants causes your piss to suffuse throughout and make your hands stink of stale piss when watching tele; that, and saxoneagle.

#saladc*nt

Pretty sure lots of people are still pretending!

People at a supermarket cafes that can't be bothered to clear away their plates and crap on the table when finished, when there are clearly tray rails in sight to place them into. Just expect the next person to sit in their seats or the over worked staff to do it for them. I would personally wait outside the shop and taser anyone that does this.

Here's a tip - try showering and changing your underwear.

Oh... and why are you watching saxoneagle, wearing piss-stained clobber? It's a bit odd, fella.

Why would anyone want to eat at a supermarket?

By means of a change from taking their luncheon at the garden centre, I would assume.

BOGOF.

Have one there, take one home.

No cueing system for kids face painting and other festival-style activities.

Just hand out tickets, it's not that hard.

'Who's next?'

Nobody knows ****face.

Snooker ?

I'd eat every day in Morrisons if my daughter would allow it. Fish, chips and beans plus sprite for me, Spag bol, garlic bread, apple juice and fruit bag for her. Apple crumble and cream for whoever finishes first. £6.50.

A bloke I work with took his wife to Tesco for a meal to celebrate Valentine's Day.

That is f**king brilliant and not annoying in the least.

I'd like to shake his hand. :lux:

Well now I would have ridiculed the concept until celebrating my birthday in February we were in Sedona and popped into whole food market to get some carbs for walking the next day and enjoyed a light snack and beer in the supermarket with some rather interesting people - but that is another story

Whole Foods Market Sedona was recently expanded to 31,000 square feet and launched a new menu at Bar 1902, including 18 local and craft beers on tap. Open Monday - Saturday from 11 a.m. – 8:30 p.m., Sunday from 11a.m. – 7:30 p.m. the bar and restaurant offers daily happy hour from 3 p.m. – 6 p.m. The bar and restaurant has free wifi, in-door and outdoor seating for more than 100 people and TVs featuring regional and local games.

https://www.google.co.uk/maps/@34.86...2!8i6656?hl=en

I eat in there cos of my daughter! She loves the place for some reason. There's a park over the road and sometimes when we're walking up to it she's dragging me in to Morrisons instead.

It must be hard for Jordan's Jacket to envisage such underclass behaviour when he clearly is used to dining at The Ritz. :)

My missus found a pubic hair in her food at Morrison's. You couldn't pay me to eat there :confused:

Depends whose hair it belonged to. The right lady I'd be happy to pay double :D

I got pissed with Chocky in a supermarket in Calahonda.

You have to go in there after 3pm cos then all her food is free, and if she doesn't like it you can eat it or take it home.

Orange marching flute playing drumming bastard bands and the their gormless looking neanderthal followers. The whole of Alloa is full of them just now, making a ******* racket right outside my window, and it just goes on and on. How many ******* Orange marching bands are there in Scotland ffs, have had to put up with this shit now for over an hour and their is no sign of it stopping.

If you are going to display your Orange sashes at least wear ones that are newish and not faded ones from the 1950s.

What the **** is all this marching shit about anyway ?

Crush up some breadcrumbs and release them periodically out the window. Seagulls like breadcrumbs.

I think it's their version of Pride.

That is a ******* brilliant idea Paul



I would say it is a version of Chinese torture.

Why dont they just **** off out of my space.

I worry for the human race watching it.

Its finally ******* stopped.

Now looking forward to a load of drunken protestants fighting in the streets of Alloa.

Spell check on the annoy thread? When passions are high mistakes are made.

Wankers the lot of them. I bet if you asked them they'd say its about the Rangers

I don't like cricket...oh no
I hate it!

Worst. Reggae. Song. Ever.

Erm...


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IWIxA7M_-ZA

Double erm...

The 'Ooh R A' down in devilish Cornwall. https://www.theguardian.com/uk/2007/...rorism.ukcrime

Sorry, couldn't resist this.

Those small square plastic plates that Sky stick with adhesive to the brickwork of your house to conceal the point of entry for the dish cabling.
What are we talking before they drop off....24, maybe 48 hours at best....??

You really are a miserable **** aren't you?

Posh reggae ffs:D

Weird

People who think they can go all the way around a mini round about, cyclists not in single file! People who take up 2 spaces when parking. To name just a few

People who have been payed to stand outside supermarkets getting you to sign up for a monthly donation to a hospice or the like.
Had one yesterday outside the coop after just getting the stepson's cast off his arm and stopping in there to get him some drinks for his fete at the school that day he bothers me and the missus and kid on the way in and even though I told her to go back to the car while I payed the bastard was still hounding them on my way out.

People who ask you do you like Science fiction movies and when you answer no, they still insist on telling you every little thing that happened in the one they just watched.

Wait til Vodafone get the same idea.

:D

I was yesterday, but that was because of the appalling noise assaulting my eardrums.

However nothing miserable in being against anything that signifies and encourages the bigotry up here. It is a real stain on Scotland.

Take it you like all the pomp and ceremony that surrounds an Orange march (it was referred to as a 'walk' up here) ?