Going into the Apple store. Had to go with my missus as she has one and I've never seen so many misfits in one place and that includes the spotty strange staff. A lot of people that have no idea but come in because it's fashionable to like Apple.

Wrong tense, surely?

Jack Whitehall. Entitled posh boy stealing a living. Never knowingly humorous.

While I'm on this thread, and I may have said this before, but friends who think you are remotely interested in seeing the hundreds of holiday photographs.

Musicians who think their views are more valid than anybody else's.Who gives a shit what Bono or Sting think?

Russell Brand.A complete and utter ****.

Are you new?

This incarnation is.

Beth Tweddle.
There's something about her I just don't like.
It's probably her awful ugliness.

Andrew Pierce - irritating Daily Mail journalist who sometimes turns up on Good Morning Britain and Sky News

So you only like good-looking people?

Of course. Don't you?

I don't care for the ugly. Life's too short.

So is Jimmy Krankie and he's both.

You can get help for your self loathing.

I'm sick and tired of all the abuse on the Brexit thread so please let me post in peace on other threads.You really are in danger of becoming a boring troll.So please grow up and if you want to abuse,deride or belittle people leave it to your favourite thread rather than hunting people down elsewhere.Thank you.

EFA

You or others have doctored that comment.I have no idea who those people are and I'm sure you know that so stop being a total twat.The BBS should be fun but people like you are ruining it with the constant demeaning of people who don't agree with you.

In the absence of a violin-playing emoji…

:S:

:supergrin:

I can.
But I won't.

A woman asked a kid to stand up this morning so she could sit down and apply her makeup. Two annoying things about this:

1. The woman thinking she had a right to ask the kid to move.
2. People putting on makeup, or any sort of personal grooming, on public transport. Get up 10 minutes earlier, you inconsiderate arseholes.

Your first point is debatable, although I see where you're coming from. No doubt however about the second…

Perhaps, but there's no more reason for a woman in her 20's or 30's to be deserving of a seat than a 5/6 year old.

Better than :jerkit: which is applicable to you.Just seen your pic-I'm not surprised by your smug look but surely do something with the ridiculous beard/tash arrangement.Makes you look like a right ****!Now,see what you've done.Brought me down to your level.Maybe others should look at your pic and find you in the Arthur for a face-to-face chat rather than you trolling on here.Maybe not,you're not worth it.....

Do your own dirty work

And a haircut would be a good idea.Menopause?

Got far better things to do on a match day.Drinking with my mates for one....

Please take your shit elsewhere and leave the best thread on the bbs alone

Could you make that 25mins earlier so they can have their breakfasts at home too? What is wrong with people? Free milk for teas and coffees doesn't mean you use it all on your breakfast cereal when you arrive at work. I expect they'll be taking toilet rolls home from work soon too.

Accidentally swallowing toothpaste. WTF!! My throat feels like I smoked 10 packs of Marlboro last night.

I've no issue with people eating breakfast at work - I do because if I eat within the first hour or so of waking up, I'm often sick. So I get up at 6, leave the house at 7 and have breakfast about 7.45 when I reach my office (although my breakfast is usually just a coffee and a banana!).

Now, eating breakfast on the train is annoying... but mostly because it makes me feel sick! :D

I'm OK, generally, with other food on trains as long as the smell isn't over-powering and you aren't affecting other people. Kebabs, McDonalds/BK/KFC are not acceptable. A sandwich is. And take your ******* rubbish away with you, too. :)

And on the subject of rubbish: if you choose to take a newspaper to read on the train in the morning, then don't just chuck it on a seat or on the floor when you're done - throw it away, or take it away with you.

Perfume - Aftershave - Fabric Softeners - Shops with PHS air freshener. Its ******* awful. Some of these feckers must be doing whole body washes in Perfume, its getting to be worse than secondhand smoke!

Go in to a public toilets and pish pish PHS machines everywhere - Premier Inn same shit in the halls.

And another thing I KNOW for a fact that some of you have this problem and no nothing about it, your HE washing machine is ****ed - you ****ed it by overloading it with detergent, doing constant 30 degree washes and because it smells a bit weird your solution is put in more detergent which is making more mouldy detergent in the drum. This is at epidemic levels it is a cross between mould smell and detergent ******* revolting.

http://blog.espares.co.uk/wp-content...970b-800wi.jpg

https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/i...ULQO4D--0nI4fQ

The pretentious twat at work who has installed his own coffee machine on his desk. The twattery knows no bounds and the phutting and bubbling and the foul smelling brew, probably some of that civet cat shit coffee, is seriously annoying.

Needless to say, he is an Arsenal fan :jerkit::jerkit:

Has it been fully checked out and approved by Elf and Safety with the appropriate sticker to ensure it is safe? It could be a fire risk and exposing all and sundry to unnecessary risk..... At my old place, this procedure could take weeks, as the maintenance/electricias were always so busy ;)

Piss in it when he leaves.

What a combo with cat poo coffee!:clown:

Genius :lux: :p

Difficult tactic with me being a lazy sod who leaves well before him :(

Add some used cat litter for a fresh authentic taste.

Probably the same tossers who heat up a curry in the microwave at lunchtime at eat it at their stinking out the whole office. :veryangry

Aaah. But that might annoy other people in the same way as make up lady annoys you.

Congratulations - when will you be hearing the patter of tiny feet?

trying to work out how to embed a picture on the BBS now photobucket has stopped allowing. Heeeeeelppp

That is one of the best on here for a while.

What a twat. Can we a have a pic? Maybe of him looking proud with his machine.

Working on it....will be a surreptitious rather than proud pic though if at all possible. If I can I'll get the ponytail in too though :p

Go to imgur.com
Click on the little 3 lines in the top left corner
Go down to 'view desktop site'
Click on the little down arrow to the right of 'new post'
Choose 'upload images'
Browse and select your image
Let it upload
Click on image
Click on little down arrow
Click edit
Choose bbs sized pics (800 x 600 ish) not 3000 like some people post
Click save
Click on image
Click on little down arrow
Choose 'get share links'
Highlight and paste the text in the section BBC code (forums) in a bbs post or just by click copy on BBC code (forums)
Go to bbs
Paste in the reply box of the thread you want.

or simply og to "go advanced" on the BBS - click on upload a file - Pick the picture up load - click the link that appears - copy the URL - go to the post box - click on the picture paste the url.

Or if the image is already online just copy image URL and paste it in the picture box

The fact that O and 0 are so close on a keyboard

Feck me, you have it wanker gold here. 500 Shades of Twattery. Try and get it with him wearing an Arsenal top or at least drinking out of the Arsenal mug he is.

Get yourself a shredder, a bloody noisy one, and use it when he’s on the phone.

Has this worked?

Have highlighted afore-mentioned coffee machine and sad man ponytail.

The yellow sign just visible pinned to desk actually reads AR5EN4L. it beggars belief really.

Made a token effort to disguise the identity too. The shame of being an Arsenal :jerkit: is bad enough and I'm not a supporter of cyber bullying.

Black isn’t always slimming is it

Neither was the bag of cheese puffs he's stuffing away there.

Thanks Elign and vendy

**** me that office looks claustrophobic!

Extra points for a Tassimo machine

Is that what hipsters look like these days, it's hard to keep up

To be fair to him, it looks like he has invested in the coffee machine for his desk because he is a fat lazy bastard who cant be bothered to walk to the kitchen. He will have a porta loo in there soon.

Jesus ******* Christ it looks even more horrendous than you described.

If Nespresso made commodes....

Is he holding a large glass of brandy?

Lol... Tesco Cheese Puffs....not sure if first or second bag. ;)

Careful - Maidstoned has a thing for fatties.

Double bonus for the "I LOVE SPREADSHEETS" mug which I didn't manage to get into the rushed shot.

I suspect he has a chemical office chair.

Do you sit right next to him?

What is his personality like?

What is his personal hygene like?

Obvious answer to this one - does he ever go to Arsenal games?

I think Hipsters now need their tight trousers to have had an argument with their shoes, so the socks are exposed.

I was musing the other day whilst looking for Jeans why they do slim fit Jeans - Firstly in Stretch and secondly in sizes such as 40W 30L - Why, just why!

LOL - How do you resist.... What's the vertical laptop all about?!

TBF. I think we need to see a picture of fioreuks workspace to comment further. Perhaps it is a trendy office.

:D I am taking far to much interest wtf is the picture on the right on the partition, and is that a Suitcase on the floor? :D

Also TBF, back in the day my office space was a little Brentesque. For some reason I acquired a collection of the tackyist gifts that people brought back from their various holidays. The plastic wind up jumping tits and cock items probably werent the most professional look ever. I cringe when I think of the things I got away with back then for my own juvenile amusement. Even playing tricks on senior directors who were quite bemused by it all. I got paid well for the general buffoonery as well. LOL.

When the big boss was walking around (head of investments and no 3 on the main board of Guardian Royal Exchange - I always seemed to time it to make a colleague blurt out something stupid while I was chortling like Muttley).

Happy days inking up someones telephone receiver, swapping the S and D keys on keyboards, or saving hole punch paper bits to put inside a closed umbrella. They paid me 40k a year in the late 90s for that malarky.

See below..

I.T. Department......freeks, geeks and saddos in the main....say no more...Aside from me of course :D .

Extra laptops proliferate as a sign of status and the vertical hold demonstrates ultra geek mode.

Switching the numbers connections on the new push button phones to ensure wrong number dialling
Removing wall retaining bolts on filling cabinets that ensured the fell when the top draw was fully opened.
Spraying the Post it board ( like a reverse postit note so normal paper stuck to the Post it board) with hairspray so it lost its stickyness
Levering up the carpet so everyone tripped over it.
Indeed Happy days.

Workstation??.....I just clean the toilets guv. My trolley is well organised, well stocked and fully mobile.

You still get the odd wet behind the ears novice whose screen display you can turn sideways or upside down.

Is he Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons?

"Worst....Coffee.....Ever......"

Thats why i love you so much. :love:

Some people here microwave something that smells like kippers and stinks out the office.

Probably kippers

.

The f*cking draw in the washing machine. I am putting cleaning products in there and it gets f*cking filthy

How the f*ck does this happen

Staff at petrol stations asking if you want to buy a coffee just because it's early in the morning.**** right off!

Probably on commission

When you've finished using it, unclip the drawer, pull it out and put it somewhere to dry. Leave the door of your machine open so as the rest of the machine can dry too. Every once in a while unclip the front fascia from the drawer and spray the rest of it with Fairy Power Spray. Leave it for a couple of hours to work its magic then bung it in the dishwasher.

If you've got a lot of mould then try working the Fairy in with an old toothbrush. Make sure you wash your hands well afterwards because it will make your fingers smart otherwise.

It may take three or four efforts to get the drawer back to being clean again.

:rolleyes: really...thank you Miss Molly.

Just bung it in the dishwasher..grab a beer and get back to watching Palace beat Chelsea for the 5th time on the Sky box! Man-up!

People that have run a marathon and are still wearing their medal hours later.

People who refer to food as 'noms' - **** off you dickheads!

People posting photos all over Facebook of the red sky even though phone cameras don't make it look any different than a normal photo.

:supergrin: bloody disgusting in an office

I hate people saying "nom nom"

I'm the same with 'pots'. Maybe it's a cultural thing.

Or just buy a new washing machine.

People that ask when they come into your workplace “busy?”. WTF Has it got to do with you, you nosy bastard. You’re here as a customer/supplier - Piss off.

Or those that call you 'part-timer' for leaving on time.

Neighbours that see you washing your car on your driveway, and say “you can do mine next”.

You miserable old git.

Or the old classic, "Do you do windows?"