We lived on the 'Island of Love' for over 10 years.
The novelty of eating all meals outside wore off very quickly thanks to the flies and mossies.

Doctors’ receptionists.

People who find God they day they realise He will ensure little Hector or Lucy will be able to attend the Ofsted outstanding faith school nearby. It must be entirely co-incidental that they lose the faith the day after admittance to the local faith school is confirmed

And also my local taxes go to pay for this charade

Men who don’t wash their hands after using the pissoir at the hospital. I’m on the brink of ceasing to simply tut, and calling the grotty, unhygienic bastards out.
How stupid can you get?

Ours is absolutely lovely

Not just at the hospital - anywhere is a disgrace for people to do that. Don't get me started on people who shit on the seat because they don't want their bottoms to touch the seat and hence have to hover or squat or whatever it is they do when having a dump.

I won't even mention the results of the tests they did on the bowls of peanuts on the bar at the pub :D

My son goes to one but we refused to play that game on principle, but got in under the 10% lottery admissions rule. But I have to say WHY is it this way. Why are schools like this normally better than their state run neighbors?

Quite simply the schools will be selecting kids from families prepared to go the extra mile who cant afford the private route, and the religious qualification overrides everything including location – so someone of ‘faith’ from the other side of the borough will get into a school where low income family in housing assoc next door will be denied.

And any misbehaving pupil of faith will be shown the door to the local state school who must take them, but in reverse that oversubscribed faith school will replace that person with a vetted child on the wait list ( a tactic the local girls grammar uses to great effect to ensure their end of year results are without peer).

You are quite lucky that you have a 10% rule, my borough doesn't offer that - some locals did take the council to court a few years ago to try and force the schools to be more open but it was kicked out of court, so there's a lot of resentment by many council tax payers of funding a couple of schools their kids are blocked from attending

The distribution of flavours in multi-flavoured food.

I want more than one orange Starburst you arseclaps.

Estate Agents. There is the odd decent one, but but most are imho clueless arrogant assholes who seem to think they know more than the actual experts.

Grass.

Needs cutting again. Ffs.

Perhaps they don't piss all over their fingers.

But they are handling a todger that could have been anywhere. Unless they’ve just nipped in for a swift line of Charlie.

But, if those people follow a similar routine to me there is a high probability of their old chap being cleaner than their hands. Think about your morning routine of wash and dress. Then think about what your hands touch while the wee-man is tucked away all snug in your strides. I do agree that taking ones ease across the hand and then filing to sanitise is heinous.

:) are you suggesting that they might not know where it's been?

Sorry ..... - of course I am with you on your original point.

Jack Grealish's socks

I think they look great. Thats how i wore my socks when i played, like the legend himself:



https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/201...9bf4e70ef.jpeg

Pitch invasions when the team haven't actually achieved anything yet.

Bunch of selfie taking divs look like the kind of people who only turn up to the big games anyway.

Simply simply lovely

Great player albeit for some proper wankerish clubs.

Wankers changing lane without looking.Now in Royal London with 3 broken ribs,blood on the brain and a fecked hip and arm.All they had to do was check there mirror and there I was,with me light on full beam.You would have bloody seen me:wallbash::wallbash:

Ouch! Motor bike? Motorway?

Get well soon.

Cheers I.O.W,motorbike on A13 going into work yesterday.First time on the morphine :p
Staff are bloody great:love::love:

Hope the **** got arrested. Get well soon

:eek:

I'm terrified of one day hitting a motor cyclist. It makes me very careful when pulling out of a lane.

Recover well fella. :)

:( That's tough, hope you are on the mend soon.

Bloody hell mate, hope you heal fast and make a bloody massive claim against the twats.

Shit yeah get well soon!

Well, that's probably why you crashed to be honest. Most inexperienced users do it in the confines of their own home or at the very least keep away from dangerous machinery :p

PS - only kidding, hope you get well soon and the twat that did this gets what he deserves

Get well soon mate

Keep us informed on what happens and your progress. I guess your bike is written off, what was it? I've just purchased a reflective bright vest after reading your post. Sod it if I look a bit of a prat.

Enjoy the morphine while it lasts 😀❤️

Take your time to recover. You'll be able to watch all the World Cup games and don't forget , broken ribs only hurt when you breath :D

Hope you have a good recovery.

Hospital food.

steer clear of the jokes thread, the cartoon thread. Basically any that could make you laugh.
And speedy recovery!

I seem to remember someone else ending up in a field:hi:

[QUOTE=Hibernator;14259966]Take your time to recover. You'll be able to watch all the World Cup games and don't forget , broken ribs only hurt when you breath :D

Not true. Smashed mine to fk some years ago, out of work 3 months and in that time I only sneezed twice. Christ that hurt:sob:

Wishing you a speedy recovery. I had ten years on bikes and had some near misses before becoming a car driving softy. Had a cycling crash four years ago breaking six ribs and snapping a collar bone and learnt the art of suppressing a sneeze! Oh and the morphines nice although the Oxycontin can be quite mellow too!

Wanker.

All the best mate. Hope it’s not too serious.

Now the worst parts over and you can sit back and think about how you’re gonna spend your compo money :D

Thanks for all the kind words.Now of the morphine till bed time(makes me very sick)Hopefully be home Friday :p
Have to say,the staff are fantastic.From the head honcho down to the lady with the mop:p:p

I work at the Royal London fella if there's anything you want/ need pm me.

Patiently waiting at around 15th in the queue at the lights to go straight on as a car on the inside sails down the left turn lane and pushes in to a space left by a dozy do gooder when the lights go green.

This is an absolute disgrace, they should be mortified with themselves:veryangry
They probably aren't though they probable feel very smug which is even worse.

People being condescending towards low skilled workers.

And their hairstyles. Hair is a privilege.

With a broken neck. :)

:jerkit:

Thanks for the kind offer but hopefully be sent home tomorrow :p

Ok,if you say so.

P n M, best wishes for a speedy recovery

Lazy ******* Bromley waste collectors. I put some flattened cardboard boxes out neatly stacked behind the paper container, and the wankers left the lot. I must be getting old, but the bins are never emptied properly and I'm always having to pick up stuff they spill/drop.

Project Managers in the Construction industry. Laziest bunch of feckers and getting paid a fortune for being a post box

Maths.

It's a ****'s trick.

Hope it and every **** that sails in it dies a ******* horrific slow death.


*****.

None of your comments add up.

Doesn't make a difference.

a=12
d=4

480=n/2(2a+(n−1)d)

If someone could show me how to transform this ******* formula for 'n', i''ll happy to dish out sexual favors in return.

'n' apparently = 12. Fine, but i just cannot seem to transform for n.

Are you sure you’ve written/typed it out right?

Multiply both sides by 2(2a+(n-1)d):
960(2a+(n-1)d)=n
Expand:
1920a+960n-960d=n
Balance it up:
959n=960d-1920a
Sub in for a and d:
959n=960(4)-1920(12)
959n=-19200
n=-20.0209....

Sorry not 480. Should be 408.

It also mentions that we ahould disregard the negative root.

I’ve been substituting a & d in first, then multiplying both side by 2 then expanding the bracket with n. The closest i could get was:
980=20n-4n^2 (this may or may nit be taking liberties with the laws if Algebra)


Thank you, Math God. Your sexual favour awaits.

Is the answer 42?

408=n/2(24+4n-4)
408=2n^2+10n
0=2n^2+10n-408
0=n^2+5n-204
0=(n+17)(n-12)

So n is 12 or -17

After line 3 you can use a standard formula to derive n

Which is it?

Must be 12, mathmd. Says to disregard the negative root, stupid.

You can do maths with letters? I must have bunked off that day.

Thought I'd leave the satisfaction of completing it to the requester

If the answer is 12 does that mean we get a 12 point deduction from the Premier League?

Very noble :p certainly easier with 408 :)

After my accident it appears the bike has been stolen:veryangry:veryangry
That is feckin annoying:veryangry:veryangry:veryangry

Wha!!! FFS what bike was it, where was it? What condition was it in, do you think it would have been a write off?

If I sent you pics of mine would it cheer you up or piss you off?

Bandit 1200 in good condition pre crash(used soley for work)would think it would be written off,wouldn't take a great deal on a T reg bike.Was left in a bus stop by the Police so in the process of calling them and parking people.
Didn't think it stood much chance in Dagenham to be honest.
On a plus note was let out of hospiatal last night with a load of pain killers:p:p

Double insurance payout. :)

English people who enjoy mentioning at every possible opportunity that they don't support the England football team.


Actually just English people who don't support the England football team.

Palace>England :p

:)

Just wait for Elgin to buy it on ebay.

So-called mate who told everyone he loved his uncle when he knew he was dying, then shed floods of crocodile tears so his uncle would leave him his house, pretended to find God to fool people into believing he was pure & innocent....and months later is putting his uncle's house up for sale after making a few repairs. BASTARD.

:D:D

My son and his mate have found the bike,ignition wires cut and dumped further down the road.Now resting in my garage,it's completely fecked which is something else to be annoyed about.Bloody loved that bike:love:

Bikes can be replaced.
You can't.

No room in the garage. Still trying to sell the varnish, skirting boards, fake grass, clothes display stands, electrical equipment, paint, copper pipe, laminate flooring and room dividers. Then I'll be back in the game :)

The right answer.

408 makes a lot more sense.

And realising that I'd misunderstood your typing.

See things are getting better already :p

I might have the fake grass off you mate. Fed up of having to cut my bastard every week

To be honest it's the worst fake grass in the world mate. It's that bad I went out and bought better fake grass to replace it :)

:D

How on earth have you gone from step 1 to step 2? I assume that you multiplied by n, collected the terms and divided by 2?

Also, like you said, i used the Quadratic formula from step 3 to achieve the answers you have supplied. Just interested in why you decided to transform further than step 3?

Many, many thanks for your assistance.

.

If you can easily factorise a quadratic equation, it saves messing around with the formula.

To get from step one to two, they have simply expanded the brackets, as you describe.

Yes, just multiplying through as you describe

Fair point. What are the factors of 10 & 408?

Ignore. Factors of 5 & 204 are: -17 and 12. Obviously.

I use the formula for that reason. I'm not great at maths so trying to factorise on top of everything else just makes it more grief.

:D


Thanks everyone.

Hang on - When i factorise the quadratic equation i'm getting -12 & 17.

n^2 + 5n - 204

17 + (-12) = 5

17 x -12 = 204


n^2 + 17n - 12n - 204

n(n+17) -12 (n +17)

(n+17) or (n-12)

Not -17 & 12. :( Where am i going wrong?



AND IGNORE ME AGAIN. 0=n-12 n=12.


Thanks .

Glad you got there in the end. As with most things, I suspect it has (almost) as much to do with practice as talent. People get put off maths because, until you get it right, you get it wrong.

Is it national phone zombie day? Just got back from CP park which was full of feckless looking nerdy types standing around in gangs staring at their phones.

Some sort of Pokemon thing going on I’m guessing

Can you sell it to a greengrocer to put his products on?

Probably not Al. It's got little tufts sticking out which are supposed to imitate grass but fail horribly. It's really useless for everything apart from possibly killing weeds.

The boy racer who piled his car into a local power pylon at 6am this morning cutting off electricity in our sector of the city.
The amateur workmen from the sparky company who fixed the problem at around 10:30am and who are now repairing that fix which lasted 1hr. Good effort :p :rolleyes:

Forget the maths, spark up a massive doobie and get down the pub. You know it makes sense.

Cleaning glasses.
At 48 I've finally accepted that I now need glasses to read, but why are they always f*cking dirty. Every time I put them on I have to take them off to clean them. I didn't have to put up with this shit when it was just my eyes!

I hear you there. Bloody hate it. Why don't they do self cleaning spectacles

They can be spotless when I take them off. I'll put them in the little pouch they came with (making sure not to touch the glass). And yet when I go to put them on again it's like they have been used to clean a horses log cutter!

Maybe if you’d cleaned your eyes more often you wouldn’t need glasses?:confused: