Top end packed lunches

Generalisations - tedious, formulaic shite

Crystal Palace owners and lack of empathy for the fans ect.

Coco and Kubo and the Two Strings don't quite follow the usual line and are recent movies worth checking out. Not sure if they'd still be classed as modern, but Studio Ghibli's Spirited Away, Howl's Moving Castle and Ponyo are all brilliantly bonkers.

I'm curious as to what makes a packed lunch "top end". Only because I will buy/make whatever is required next time we go on a lunch time jolly, just to show Peter what he's missing.

You do know bono suffers from chronic back pain.

Well so would you if you spent the last 20 years with your head up your arse.

You can take the best caviar, champagne, meats etc but Peter will still take the snobs

.

My inability to leave Aldi/Lidl without buying one of their 'special offers'.

Latest - went in for milk, came home with an angle grinder … and no milk.

Now that’s a packed lunch!

It’s the kind of spread I imagine Blind tucks into with his famous fishing pals

Was a digital radio for me :)

Inappropriate mood music - I came for a coffee, not a pop concert.

Noise cancelling headphones

The red vehicle driver who has hit my parked car and drove off and left red scratches on my cars bodywork

People who create and invite you to calendar events for their holiday/time off at work instead of using the HR system.

Went for a ride today. Got a puncture on the way home. No wife. 3 mile walk pushing bike.

Can't remember if I have posted this before, but my absent-mindedness is becoming increasingly annoying.

Supermarket car parks that prioritise 'parents with children' parking spaces.
Disabled persons should be near the front door.

fck-wit parents and kids should be parked at the far-end of the car park, so they don't smash their car doors into normal people's cars, and their kids get some well-needed exercise to fight obesity

Why are they annoying?

Annoys cancelling headphones?

Forget about it.

Because they don't work?

It's all a bit "Emperor wore no clothes" from my experience with them.

They're not, its a recommendation to you so you can avoid dodgy music in cafes

Is that the same as ‘the emperors new clothes’ ?

Then I wouldn’t be able to hear the sea. Which is why I sat outside the cafe.

Also, this isn’t the “Things you can do to avoid dodgy music in cafes” thread.

If only it was that easy. I spent 10 minutes getting annoyed with a ticket machine this week before realising I’d gone to the wrong cinema

Me thinks you need to be taking a chill pill my old mucker

Methinks I need to stop taking the chill pills.

This type of thing annoys me:

https://www.standard.co.uk/news/fred...-a3928571.html

https://www.simcoe.com/news-story/88...a-music-video/

Are you related to Baldy ?

So that's what happens to the confiscated drugs.

Sorry I thought it was a joke.

No worries fella. I'm finding laughter is the best medicine

You bring me problems, I give you solutions.

Twats listening to music on their phone speakers on a bus. Use headphones. We don’t want to listen to your shit music.

Ah, I remember turning up at Cineworld Boldon only to find my tickets were at the machine in Bolton. Sad.

I got off at Tottenham Court Road tube for a Spurs match.

Who said being annoyed was a problem? Not being able to vent the annoyance is the problem.

Start singing along, works for me.

Your problem was the music not to your taste, I gave you a solution.

People offering unwarranted solutions.

Since I got my hearing aids my wife's voice is really ******* annoying me!

Thank God they have a mute button on the app that controls them...

City boys moaning at the (minimum wage/zero hour contract) lady in Pret, because it was busy and his soya flat white took longer to make.

Above the min wage - £8+ per hour for normal bods at Pret..



My lad works on the gates at the Palace... minimum wage and plenty of abuse

Took me a few seconds to realise you meant the hearing aid! :D

Dogs barking

= tosspot dog owners

Oh if they’re getting £8ph, I’ve changed my mind...I’m now on the side of the hedge fund manager.

Kneecap the twats.

Parisian rush afternoon traffic inconsistencies. You don’t factor it in it is horrific. You factor in and it doesn’t appear and you arrive three hours before your flight.

Wankers

Did your wife come from Stepford ?
;)

Twats in the office running (some comically ineptly) because they're slightly late for a meeting.

You're in IT in a B2B company not a frigging surgeon!

I was sooooo close to folding him like farkin deckchair, but I opted for the rolled eyes and loud tutting... far more physiologically damaging.

Should have shoved a Love bar up his arse.

(By the way nobody at Pret earns minimum wage or has a zero hour contract)

Sadly probably water off a duck's back. Far too thick and self-absorbed to have any effect. Needs a "Give it a rest you tosser". I am probably old and decrepit enough to get away with it. :D

People who drag those tiny little suitcases on wheels behind them.
The ones that almost trip you up should you dare to walk too close.
I may or may not have posted this annoyance up before but if I have then it just goes to show how much I hate these c*nts with their little pretend suitcases.
On wheels with the silly little handle.

Usually solicitors or Estate Agents.....

Adults parading about in their PE kit on public transport. Yes Lycra Lucie, you're going to live until you're 125 with all this fitness lark. I hope you've made adequate pension provision.

:supergrin:

Depends where you are... acceptable at an airport... not acceptable in the High Street (unless you are getting on a train or bus to go to the airport).

At least their "little pretend suitcases" might fit in the overhead bin of a plane, unlike those "real" suitcases people drag on to the plane who think by some miracle they will fit into an overhead bin... I digress...

It was at Brighton train station where it first f*cked me off.
An airport I could just about suffer.

The f***** that stole my coat on Saturday. I only got to the gates when I turned back to get it, but it was gone. I bet it was the new bloke that sat behind me, swearing, bitching and moaning for the entire game. If he doesn't come back, he can keep it.

and on tubes. They need kneecapping

Cyclists who ride their bikes on narrow pedestrian only paths, get off your fat arses and walk you scumbags.

Also twats who play their music so loud that it’s blaring out of their headphones for all to hear.

Fully able bodied adults who insist on using lifts at train stations and such. Was at CP station with the buggy the other day and watched a 20-something girl force her way into the lift ahead of me and my 3 year old, an old man with walking sticks, and a middle aged woman struggling with a huge suitcase.

Walk up the steps you lazy selfish wankers. And even if she had a gammy leg or something, still no reason to shove in front of others like that.

Moaning old gammon *****, angry from the moment they wake up and read their daily express, to the moment they pass out wanking over babestation. Constantly feeling sorry for their pathetic small minded little lives, hard done by ***** who’ve had to do very little in their lives and being white, male, and lucky to be born in the right place, gives them the right to judge the less fortunate, those that don’t conform, Brown people, Muslims, women, young people with ideas different to their own, just young people, basically anyone that isn’t a gammon, people who understand irony, people who aren’t self entitled, basic ***** that refer to anyone who shows them up for the fools that they are as snowflakes. THOSE CNUTS!

How do they feel about Steve Mandanda?

Don’t even go there buddy. It ain’t gonna be pretty 😁

I think I may be one of the above.
The best of that lot though.

Daily Mail and Babecast?

Moaning and angry actually.

Could have just said the Holmesdale.net

Things that annoy you
 

The apex of c u ntery

Laces on trainers. Why are they so long?

The current travel announcements on the DLR

“blah...blah...blah...check your journey at www dot, tfl dot, gov dot, yuke”. It’s ******* UK, pronounce the letters not as one word, you absolute ****wits.

The dad's in the NCT groups who insist in also setting up a WhatsApp group and then persist at least twice in organising a dad's drinks night

Don't get me wrong for the mum and in my wife's case NCT has been great for her network.

For me I'm not going to have enough time to go drinking with my actual mates let alone small talk with the forced upon ones

Forgive my naivety but what exactly is a 'Gammon'?

It’s the equivalent of “Remoaner” and just as shite. It’s supposed to be something to do with the colour the skin of 50 year old white men of limited intelligence who have a Union Jack on a flagpole in their front garden goes when they are angry at the world for foreigners, or non british things, or people who don’t have union jacks on flagpoles in their front garden.

Like “remoaner” it is used by twats

One BBSer decided it was racist. That was just weird

Aahh. I see. I thought it was some sort of cockney rhyming slang that I'd never heard of!

Cheers . I have learnt a new word today which I will probably never use again.
:supergrin:

I'm astonished by the level of basic rudeness shown by people on a daily basis. I don't remember it always being like this, getting old?

Hard to argue given the evidence on this thread.

Gammon is a brilliant word you daft twats

It really isn’t, but when GorBlimey decided it was a slur against the Irish, that was totally hilarious

GB is a fruit

Not heard that expression in donkeys.

Yeah, for Pardew.

Parents who shampoo their kids hair in the showers in busy changing room after kids swimming lessons

Paul Whitehouse.

"Counter-attacking" cricket. Just play proper cricket ffs.

Why?

Because it blocks the shower for 5 other kids who have to freeze waiting or go without.
Pool showers are for rinsing, not washing. Washing is not acceptable when the changing rooms are busy.

:D

Ah, at my local pool we have showers for rinsing when you go in and out, AND separate showers for washing properly.

How about washing your kids hair with shampoo in the pool?

Also those who only work on floors 1 or 2 of an office building but get the lift too.

British television's obsession with people from the North East and their accent. What with soaps, ads and the like, there's more of them on the box than actually live up there.

Is my wife the only person who still serves carrots in a 1970s style - thick circular discs? I quite like carrots but she doesn't half make them as unappetising as possible.

Male nipples. Why do we have them, when we shouldn’t have them? I don’t understand why and it’s driving me crazy.