Morrison's is the leader for useless self service machines

Put a lightweight packet of crisps or some aspirin in the bag and it's 'Please remove the last item from the bagging area' making all around think you are thieving.

The slightest touch of the weighing plate by anything being scanned sends the machine into a continuous loop of weighing options that can't be stopped until some mute bored shop person waves a worn plastic card at the machine.

General hates are:

People who stand in line waiting who are so fixated on someone nearly finishing that they don't realise two other machines are actually free!

People who take trolleys to the machines especially those who bash it into you as they use the next machine.

People who stare at each item slowly revolving them to see if there may be a barcode on them then wafting the item at 0.0001mph across the scanner and almost congratulating themselves as it beeped. Ten items in ten minutes.

******* Morrison *****.

My local one has got rid of the under 10 items checkout because of the so called 'self' service machines, that require more than me to complete my shop via them.

I have boycotted the store. So there Morrisons, hope that teaches yer.

This annoys me too. Especially when handed over by someone who is so desperate not to touch you they let go of it in mid air and it goes everywhere. Now I don't know where they have been either and have no desire to be touched but FFS hand it over carefully.

The Jubilee Line. Especially from London Bridge towards Waterloo.

People who don't move down tube carriages - f*ck your f*cking personal space.

The two things are linked.

Don't ever visit Japan.

The dark thoughts that envelop my soul when some div tourist idles in front of me when I'm trying to get to work/get home would scare most people I reckon.

You work ?

Holy shit

I have visions of myself punching a slow walker in the head, to be greeted by rapturous applause from fellow frustrated fast-pacers like myself.

How is it someone can go to another country and immediately lose all of their common sense?

That's a bit harsh on SC.

He never had any in the first place

Go to Sainsburys and press the 'use own bags' button, takes 10 mins for staff to sort it out!!

Correct. English tourists in Spain who suddenly think its ok to walk the whole family and kids in buggies down the middle of a road when there are perfectly good pavements either side. When you drive up behind them a toot they give you shit back! And when they get into their own hire cars they think they can just stop or park on a roundabout or slow right down in the middle of the street to an almost stop for whatever reason I'll never know. Brains left at Gatwick etc.

Bike from tesco, and people who buy bikes from tesco then bring them to me to be built, and especially the ones who object to being quoted £50 + parts for me to build said pile of shit

Aye, as a rally car driver.

According to the Nottinghamshire constabulary.

:hmph:

The Chinese are the slowest walkers in the world around covent garden.

Yet if you do a bunk from one of their restaurants without paying they run like feck.

Can we add people who don't bag their items as they are scanning them, instead preferring to place all the items on top of the unopened bags meaning they take twice as long to try and do it all at the end? Always thought this bit seemed to be common sense but the vast majority of folk do it this way.

People who bitch about self-scanning checkouts in supermarkets.

Don't assist the supermarkets' strategy to increase profits and reduce employees.

Insist on using a checkout with a human being and feck their share price.

^^^^ this

if I wanted to 'play shopping' I'd work in a shop.

I would totally agree except the supermarkets deliberately minimize the manned tills to ensure those that wanted to be served ( I worked a till for years as a kid so it's my fecking turn surely?! ) are punished by standing in a massive queue. I told a checkout supervisor that there's basically two types of tills now in Sainsburys; 'serve yourself' or 'f*ck yourself'

Office Talk. What a load of shit, everyone only seems to be able to communicate by using cliches. Just speak normally
"Drop Dave a line because we need a back of a fag packet ballpark figure, so we can stamp out any errors moving forward."

Also, being unable to leave for lunch without saying the obligatory farewell of...
"Just going to get some lunch...does anyone want anything from outside?" When deeply hoping no one takes up your offer.

And Millwall, of course.

Just say you're going out for some coke and hookers, the rest of you can get f*cked.

They won't ask you for anything then.

Objection, if that offer was sent my way rather than a bowl of soup and an hour on the BBC i'd be all over it quicker than you could say "i'll have point five of Bolivian flake please vicar".

Thomas Jefferson. 'We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal', apart from the slaves he owned (and never freed) what a complete and utter bast*rd.

http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Tiq2t7reHHA/hqdefault.jpg :)

Emails that are signed off with the single word 'best'.

When you get what the Yanks call sandwiches and it's all bred, no filling (or one ******* slice of chicken). Cough up you cheap bastards, shove a load of meat in them

Hang on, hang on, are you accusing the Americans of scrimping on sandwich fillers?
My bloody waistline is living proof of quite the opposite.

No, I mean Tesco's versions

More meat in a vegan cafe ffs

Police helicopters hovering over my house at 2 o'clock in the morning for no apparent reason...anti-social arseholes...

Trains where you need to push the button to open the doors - pushing the button 50 times before the thing lights up will not make the doors open any quicker asshole

I've seen a woman walk up to get on a train, stand a foot from the doors then go mental when the train pulls away. She didn't realise she had to press a button to open the doors, she thought they were like shop doors that have sensors.

People that put a big shitty pile of Mayonnaise on chips.....its Salt and Vinegar maybe a little Ketchup...UKIP will ban this!

Their brains migrate into their rucksacks. They only respond, slowly, to being hit and poked repeatedly about the head region.

Dumb english as a second language ****ers at work who insist the word 'resource' is spelt 'ressource', to the point where MS Office autocorrects the right spelling to the wrong one.

Ukip will ban Belgium?

Had this happen sporadically over a few weeks until the Police found the house growing cannabis they new was in the area .

Seems logical. ;)

If everyone ignored the self-serve checkouts they'd have to take them out.

When the supervisor walks over to me and asks if I want to try the self-serve, I'm happy to say no, I want to interact with a human being and if that means waiting a couple of minutes then so be it.

CCTV letting mouthy little sh1t5 get away with sh1te I would have got a deserved slap for at that age. ��

We can but hope. I refuse to use the fcuking things too.

I am well-known in my local Tesco Express for loathing the confounded things. They now say automatically,"Would you like to come over to the till, sir?" And I reply, "Yes please. Thank You". A little politeness goes a long way. Pity the larger stores don't learn a bit more about customer service.

Come the revolution..........

I liked it when we used to be trusted to open and shut the doors ourselves. Miss being able to jump off a train as it is pulling into a station.:(

Got that right now. And on cue. 1.57am.

The Tory party's manifesto

The Tory party.

Fernando Rodney

People who don't accept that chips and mayonnaise is food from the Gods.


I'm not voting for UKIP now.

Mayo is rank, UKIP, I'm coming.

Chips and Mayo is not food from the gods. Mayo is very nice with chips, but it can be surpassed as a condiment for your fried potato pieces. For ambrosia, what you really need to pair your chips with this

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fritessaus

They must have been following someone from Hampstead Heath (I heard them about the same time)

UKIP drones searching for mayonnaise ......

The M25 last night, around Dartford around 11pm - 75% of lanes shut due to roadworks - not a single workman in sight.

Ah, the old night closures. Night time used to be the last remaining time when driving could be enjoyable but yeah, these poxy roadworks have spoiled even that. I guess they have to do the work at some point.

For me today it's people that make things up (like footballer's salaries for example) and post them on the internet as fact. The worse kind of chumps they are. Yes, I'm looking at you Alex-G or whatever your name is this week.

Took nearly 2 hours from Thurrock Services to junction 6 last night.

Quilted bog roll

Hummers and whistlers.

They deserve a punch in the face.

TV shows - usually American - where credits are still appearing up to the first ad break.

Had you considered getting a train?

It's still Fernando Rodney.

No trains around the Dartford Tunnel, soooo annoying

Broken Britain.

11~11.30 and 3~3.30 are are breaks.12 hr shift, so I make no apology for wanting a cup of :ptea
Breaks last for about 40 minutes as people need to get to the canteen and back, thank you for your patience in this matter:D:D

earthquakes

Cars that indicate to turn too early, i.e. when they go past the road you think they're indicating to turn into.

The new (updated) BBC news website.
50% of the stories are now 60 second streams taken from the tv news. Subsequently the information is short on depth, facts and detail.
And I have to sit through a minimum 30 sec advert before seeing this crap?

This in spades!

People (usually over 60) who walk around our town centre holding hands & wearing hiking boots, anoraks, beanie hats & back packs (bulging with heaven knows what).

:D We are renowned for our Nigels!

My Wife!!!!

At least the stories on the right are up to date. Got sick of clicking onto something that looks interesting and finding it was a story from 2007.

We drove to/from Sunderland on Saturday and the M1 was littered with 50 limits due to ghost workman. So f*cking annoying.

The girlfriend!!!

That money supermarket advert.

Office jargon such as challenges rather than problems.

Lol - that's one thing I don't miss living here. Some of the bigger supermarkets on the outskirts of town have started experimenting with them but all the inner city "local" supermarkets still happy to have £14 a hour checkout assistants working them. Long may it continue :)

The shitty 4G advert.

A Question of Sport. What a shit programme.
If it was a colour, it would be beige.

The wife again

Especially Dawson

CNN's is even worse... ironically they and the BBC seem to be morphing into the same website.

Taking 3 hours to do the 20 miles from Heathrow to home yesterday because every single road heading west was a complete and utter cluster****.

Should have given a "spoiler alert". Had recorded the game and watched yesterday after reading this so knew what was coming as soon as Rodney stepped in :sob:

Good old slam doors and leaning out of the window before leaning back in to avoid decapitation:D

The 'have I got PPI.com' ads in general but specifically the one where some Irish tart calls me foolish. And not just once, she keeps doing it throughout the day. Cheeky bitch.

Opening the doors early and wiping out everyone stood the wrong side of the yellow line.

Stations have retained the yellow line on the platforms I see, despite the doors now being different.

And the one "..we used the money for a holiday, extend the house and start a business".
Well that business is doomed, if the same people who missed they were spending that much inappropriately to service a large amount of debt are now at the forefront of capital enterprise.

Or the advert is made up non-sense to lure people in with false dreams.

I have a friend who got about £5k back from PPI, he has a family and is alway talking about not having enough money. The first thing I said to him was did you not notice all that money going out of your account every month for years on end, makes you wonder how much else they are spunking away.

People that drive with their heads just barely above the steering wheel/dashboard. Adjust the seat you silly sods.

"Don't you know you're entitled to compensation? It's your money". :rolleyes:

Almost as bad as "we are injury lawyers for you". No, you're really not.

Unscrewing the lightbulbs in first class, to chuck at the walls in tunnels.
And the unspeakable stench of BR toilets.

Sorry, I got distracted. Nostalgia, rather than annoyance.

LBC.

Politicians who pretend mass immigration has had no effect on employment, schools, housing or the NHS.

It's simply that we're spending too little money.

Computers, i fu.king hate them.
Yes i know i'm on one now, but i still fu.king hate them:veryangry

Brian Swanson's mouth .

He has what I call a "Scottish top lip".

Cricket.

People talking about Cricket.

As a kid climbing into the string luggage racks too. Schoolcaps were really handy when unscrewing the lightbulbs too. Still we derail the thread, as you were:D

Listening to people that are working class talking about holidays outside of Europe (and I include my sister in that).

Makes me cringe.

An annoyance due to a lack of understanding of a game is the fault of your unintelligence.

An excellent 5 days of Test cricket, epitomising why it remains the greatest form of the game has just ended, and a milestone of great magnitude has been achieved by an England player, yet you're 'annoyed' because people are talking about it?

:clown:

People who leave shopping trolleys right next to your car

People who leave shopping trolleys in Supermarket car park spaces so you have no space to park

Arseholes who occupy 2 seats on a crowded train, making a point of deliberately sitting on the seat next to the one by the window. I make these ***** move on principle.

I must admit I do this but not because I want both seats. I prefer the aisle seat on trains and planes as there's a bit more room.

How dare the proles want to explore our world

The cheek of it.