Shops that display open signs when they're not... Gagging for a beer at 4 in the morning and they're shut!

To be fair, you could rifle through twenty of them and no one would bat an eyelid.
Eat 3 regular burgers and you can feel people judging you in the room. These are a wonderful invention for the dimensionally challenged.

I'm sure I hear sirens far more often than I used to as well.

Now I know I live near Croydon, before some smartarse points out that possible cause!, but it's not uncommon for us to hear 4-5 sirens in a short time (usually police to be honest).

In the past that would indicate a big incident that you'd probably read about locally the day after.

Are they less bothered about when they put on the 'blues and twos' now, or is there really that much more crime?

Are you sure it's not some cool kid with a police siren on his bmx ? Remember those ? I'm sure you could select Ambulance, Fire Engine and Police :D

Whining vegetarians. I was at a carvery a couple of weeks back and an indignant woman started complaining loudly about the limited options for non meat eaters. Hello, it's a ******* carvery you stupid tart. You're in a place where they prepare, slice up and serve dead things. What the **** were you expecting?
(Having said that, at the end of the carvery section full of very tasty dead animals was a large gravy jug with a sign saying 'suitable for vegetarians').

That's it, I'm done with the BBS. It's worse than HOL.

What's it coming to when the swear filter blanks out the word burgers

What ever next .....

I bought my dogs a packet of roast ox crisps yesterday and they said suitable for vegetarians :)

Ew. Any gravy which is suitable for vegetarians is just not gravy.

I like wandering into vegetarian restaurants and asking for the meat option.

'Gentrification'. Why not 'Wankerisation'? Because that's what London is filling up with. Total c*nts, everywhere.

Totally and utterly spot on

Agreed. Are we supposed to greet it with open arms as communities are forced out to make way for luxury flats and artisan bakeries?

For ****'s sake PLEASE stop this wanky ******* sky pundit speak referring to strikers playing 'up top'. It's UP FRONT.

People who ask 'how you doing?' when they couldn't give a fvck. Fvck off.

They usually say it, and move on to the next sentence without waiting for a reply.

In addition, people in offices who rarely acknowledge you or even speak to you, come up and be all friendly and ask how you are. I know you fecking want to talk to me now, it's because you want something, you fecker

Hate it when the sky presenters interviewing someone look at the camera as they ask the question , to "involve" me. DON'T LOOK AT ME, LOOK AT THEM !!

Lol, it's another import from the US.

Yep. Like when they shout at little bit when they introduce the show.

Someone posted on here that joke about having noisy neighbours . Now we know how Canada feels :D

Any gravy that makes vegetarians taste better is got to be good.

As a chef, I'm always tempted to remind them that being vegetarian is a choice and that they have, in fact, chosen not to eat the other dishes.

Is that before of after you spit in their tofu cutlets?

Personalised number plates, what is the point? especially the naff ones than mean nothing to anyone but the owner or the ones with strategic bolts. Or worse still where the number plate is worth more the car.

I know a BBSer with Connecticut plates - CPFC
The only annoying thing about that is he got them before me :grrr:

People who look to the side when taking pictures of themselves, so they look like models .

Here's a clue .... You don't .

Prats on the BBS who start bombarding you with inarticulate private messages and say " I took it offline to sound you out" when they can't take the replies. There are an awful lot of small men with chips on their shoulders rather than on their plates.......

I found a Mercedes in Fort Myers, Florida with Everton as the plate.

If I'd had a Sharpie pen I'd have decorated it with some CPFC graffiti.

Well, I probably wouldn't have as the missus and some of her family were there too but it's the thought that counts.

Do you mean - the head leaning to one side or full on side profile?

Prats on the BBS that just make stuff up to try to validate their chosen opinion

You just made that up.

He says it every time 100s of BBSers say anything negative about Speroni

It and he annoys me

The shit you make up about Parish making managers pick Speroni as keeper is a prime example, yes.

And specifically the modern variation of players scoring against ex-teams and looking like they've just killed someone's cat. i.e. Morrata v Real Madrid for Juve in CL semi finals.

Honourable exception - Magic Jansen v Palace in April 2000 when we might have been relegated. He scored against us again in August 2000 and happily celebrated, as he should.

I mean the looking straight at you with eyes going up and to the right type pose.

I'm very specific .

This pisses me off no-end. The one that gets me the most is when you text a number to give a fiver or something to a specific charity then a couple of months later you get a call from some irritating student type trying to strong arm you into giving more.


www.mactochampionships.com The home of the combative elite

That pose that wannabe pretty girls all do. One arm on the hip, head tilted to one side. Fake tan. OTT make up. Gormless smile. YOU LOOK AWFUL LOVE!! Why do it?


www.mactochampionships.com The home of the combative elite

I like Slappers! :lux:

People who post a Facebook photo done in the rainbow format!

Why?

It's to support the decision by the US supreme court to legalise same sex marriage.
It annoys me because it makes it seem that only the US makes landmark decisions.
Given the fact that large parts of Europe already had it all the yanks are doing is catching up.
A picture of someone looking impatiently at their watch waiting for someone to turn up late might be more appropriate.

It's usually after I point out to them that every time they've put Parmesan cheese on their vegetarian pasta, or risotto, they've been eating calf stomach.

The new trip advisor advert

If that's the one where the dog goes "Book! Book!" then yes, it is the most annoying thing on television atm and that's saying something.

Threads that descend into pedantic bickering over spelling and grammar.

Ah! Makes sense now.

Still don't like the look of them though (the photos that is).

Your talking about the Remmy thread oviosly. They shouldn't of done that.

Kids who now say "I didn't mean it personal" or any word that should end in lly.

It's alright for you to say that ... Your clearly educated ;)

Callum Best: "It's good that you don't take yourself too serious"

FFS YOU F*CKING THICKARSED C*NT.

The England cricket team capitulating at Lords as they so often do.

Stephen Mulherne.....and all the other vacuous, bland, personality free, nicey nicey oh so squeaky clean TV presenters that seem to constantly be flavour of the month like Geffen Jones, Schofield, Willoughy and that desperate for fame Lottery presenting Scottish woman with shoulders like an NFL linebacker. But especially Stephen Mulherne.

Ya. I mean Ja.

'the premiership'. Hang on, let me adjust the horizontal hold on my television set. Going to start calling the championship the champion league and see if it catches on.

Like Ben Sheppard who seems to be on the telly every time I turn the bastard thing on.

Talentless and a Wet Sham loser to boot.

Emma Willis is terrible too

EPL. Just fecking stop it

Yeah. Thats even worse than premiership.

People getting excited over a game where for a good deal of the time, one team is hoping for inclement weather, so that they don't actually have to play.

Drivers who appear to think everyone else is telepathic so don't have to use indicators

On a driving theme. So we are all driving down the 2 lane motorway/dual carriageway and there's a lorry in the inside lane so everyone pulls out to form an orderly queue in the outside lane to overtake. And then along comes some twat speeding up the inside before he reaches the lorry whereupon he barges his way into the first available 'space' in the outside lane. You can add to this anyone who thinks the space you've left in between you and the car in front is for their benefit and not in case the car(s) in front brake suddenly.

Expanding on this theme, those total ********* that start their move and then indicate

Or total twats who when slowing put their hazards on so you don't know what the f*ck they are trying to do instead of just indicating. Ahhhhhhh! :veryangry

there should be someone standing at the junction with a hammer who can simply reach out and smash the unused and quite obviously superfluous indicators as they drive past.

cc TheMexicanHorse

How about the EPL soccer championship?

God yeah thats worse to be fair. Where's the being sick smiley?

The monday morning lack of enough sleep feeling.

People who are so vain that they keep checking their reputation to see if it goes over a milestone figure . GET A LIFE YOU MORON !!!!

Lol . My friend will be so pleased .... Thank you

Mulherne, Operation Yewtree target within 5 years. You heard it here first.



www.mactochampionships.com The home of the combative elite

Sorry. I will. Eventually.

People starting a sentence with "I ain't racist, yeah, but..." and the proceed to say something racist as if the introdcuction disqualifies the racism. Other favourites include:

"I can't be racist, I went to a school which was 74% non-white, but..."

"I'm not racist, Bolasie's my favourite player, but..."

Children who are utterly incapable of getting ready / eating breakfast at anything more than a snail's pace (see Sexy Aircraft thread for more details)

People who eat their breakfast on the train in the morning, usually loud eaters too.

pond life (I include my grandparents in this)

Someone at work once came out with the beauty:

"I don't mind foreigners being here, it's just when they don't talk English proper"

News programmes which contain those dreadful words 'well we want to know what you think about'... e.g. moving the lorries from operation stack to Manston Airport, why there's been no convictions following Brighton's 20 mph speed limit initiative, etc. etc... 'so you can contact us on Facebook, Twitter blah blah blah.' Sorry but I don't want to know what a bunch on NIMBYs think about stuff. I want someone who's qualified to talk about these issues and preferably one without an axe to grind. If you can't afford to do that then don't run with the items you fecking cheapskates.

Palace 'fanbase'

What we're about

Our 'identity'

You never used to hear all this horseshit on the BBS yet these days it's rife.

Add to that "plastic" and "modern football".

Good call.

Also add 'far eastern market' and Asian fanbase.

FFS.

Chez M&S Oxford Street - Bogs that flush automatically while you're still on them

Haha oh yea forgot about our "international brand" and "reaching new demographics"!

What happened to just 11,000 of us miserable bastards watching us play Barnsley on a cold Tuesday night in February!?

That's the only 'fanbase' I'm interested in.

We got cold, wet and most likely witnessed a one all draw replete with dodgy defending and a distinct lack of attacking prowess. Still the queues at the bar were a whole lot shorter and you could grab extra tickets at the gate.

I remember reading about an elderly couple who claimed that Wigan getting promoted to the Prem had spoilt it for that exact reason.

Agree about ticket situation- wanted to go Fulham friendly- SOLD OUT! Crazy!

The product has improved since then, so has brand popularity.

Those that try and crowbar in the fact they have a few quid into every thread, i.e

'just sitting here in Emirates Upper Lounge wondering if we've signed Remy yet'

Why is your location at all relevant to the question??

Eurosnobs at the football here in Aus.... almost 100K at the G tonight for City v Roma in a meaningless comp... Hardly any of them will consider the A league.... Cultural cringe at it's worst. Hope Palace fans never forget the leagues below them.

Really really piiiisses me orf

Amanda Holden.

Bar shagging Neil Morrisey whilst married to Les Dennis, what has this twat done to deserve to be on TV???

I will always be rooted. We have spent most of our competitive years in whatever that division is called below us.

Go onto the Fulham FC website. Register to buy a ticket. Choose one of the 2 "neutral" blocks in the same end as the official Palace sections. Buy ticket. Sorted

Taken a great deal of producer dick?

The 'match day experience'

Head of 'Customer Services'

Selhurst Park 'Stadium'

Sky Sports News's Natalie Sawyer's completely unjustifiable smugness

Gotta love those fat titties though.

Sitting here on my luxury yacht here in the Seychelles, I must concur

Using this thread to have a go at Dave?

Poor show.

Cyclists wearing camera's...**** this morning with "smile you're on camera" written on his back...**** :veryangry

I'll run you down and reverse over your camera you.... :veryangry

Don't forget to smile as you do it :)

Signing up to vote in the labour leadership elections then being bombarded with hundreds of emails from 'yvette' and 'liz', but getting none from 'jeremy'.

BBS Misogyny.

Sure I may have mentioned that before.

I'm just sitting in my mansion getting my shoes polished by my servant and this post for me is spot on.

Tommy Voeckler aka 'the housewives favourite' in the Tour de France hamming it up to the cameras during every stage, every year without fail.

I'm just sitting in my favourite mansion getting my shoes polished by my servant while he's having his shoes polished by his servant.

I just get my servant to post for me.