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Parcelforce - got a text to tell me they had attempted delivery of something I needed urgently, I was sitting at my desk 10 feet from the front door overlooking the front drive, 30 minutes later another text to say they had tried again and would return parcel to depot and they had left a card, no card left - lying gits
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Families that go out to see their visitors off after being with them for the last few hours and as they drive off the car has to do his hooter!! Why, they are two foot away from the car and have their windows down??? F"$%%£$ neighbours.
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We were in. They didn't ring the bell. |
Pedestrians in London.
F*cking lemmings. |
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Not being able to find out the temperature of a baboon’s arse on Google.
My search history in tatters and I’m none the wiser. :( |
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As they are so closely related to humans that they are used for vaccine trials, stick a thermometer up your own arse and you should be on the button. HTH :) |
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It's known that your arse is the same as a baboon - their arses are so similar to humans that a thermometor correctly inserted into your own arse will give you the temperature of a baboons arse. Apparently there is a dearth of accurate baboon arse temperature information on the internet. |
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Things that annoy you
There certain things that reinforce my belief that I’m an alien on this planet, put here to mingle with humanity whilst my fellow aliens observe, record and delight in my ongoing misery of having to experience the absolute worst of human behaviour.
One of those things is geneder reveal parties. Just **** off. |
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I went to a baby's "1st birthday party" a while back.
I think the mum just wanted a bash, the dad must have forked out a fortune on food, booze etc.. I did bring a crate of beers as I'm not a freeloading ****, but my thought on the matter is what's the ******* point? The kid won't remember it, all a big waste of time and money |
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Sexuality, wait till they are older for them to decide and not because a 3-year-old played with a barbie or liked to dress up. |
I appreciate there is not a hosepipe ban yet, but common sense still dictates you don't waste water in a heatwave.
Unless you're my prick of a neighbour who has had his sprinkler on all afternoon for the past 3 days. He doesn't even have what you would call a lawn, it's just roughish grass, the wanker. |
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There's lots of them about. New person in my office was outraged that there wasn't a list with everyone's birthday on it. I pointed out that some grown ups didn't given a f*ck. She just looked confused. |
The pant-wetting and overbearing warnings about a couple of days of hot weather.
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Paris could have temperatures of 50 degrees by 2050. Still you'll be long dead by then so it won't matter to you |
Next doors kids smashing a football around the garden constantly hitting the fence.We are 1 minute away from a park :veryangry:veryangry
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You realise that, architecturally, (and from an infrastructure perspective) this country isn’t designed with these sort of extreme climatic conditions in mind, right? And that it’s the duration of these conditions that are the public health issue? |
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All due respect, why don’t you go to the park then. ;) |
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The ball with come over at some point. Make sure you have a pen knife ready :D |
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A very posh, entitled, neighbour has just rung me up to enlist my support in stopping other neighbours kids playing in their paddling pool. What a f*cking bitch.
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*She did share it with her 5 year old brother whose birthday was a week ago. |
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A right horror. |
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The insane and privileged neighbour recommended they go to a 'public space'. She needs a proper kicking. |
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Seven etc with candles, 18 or 21, and 100, if you make it. The rest is fluff and, quite frankly, a bit odd and self-regarding. |
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https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article...-in-the-office |
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What a miserable bitch. Not sure what she'd make of our 3 youngest grandkids. They have such carry ons that the police have been called. |
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Maybe, some nice wine, or a nice shirt or two as gifts. For that, I have to accept the fuss starting from 12am. I like it to be remembered by people, but happy with it being a fairly unspecial day. Ticking towards 60. |
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Tbf. A day off playing golf with a couple of mates, or other activity that takes your fancy, seems a good way to enjoy the day.
I quite like Christmas - without going crazy about it - as in promoting it in August, sending cards, burning the electricity of a small third world country on christmas lights etc.. |
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Can we upset the Google algorithm if we all search for it?
I'm in. |
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I had a look....and this related question came up..
How come human buttholes don't show like the baboons or chimps? And this... Could a panther give a head butt to a human? |
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Belgians
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Dopamine addicts on faceache.
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The electrician who installed the system in our bungalow. Why hide a RCD trip in the meter box when you havd two on the fuse box. Which meant when resetiing after it tripped in fusebox (will come to that in a minute) still had no power. As its a new place assumed it was a more complex fusebox error and called electrician without checking meter cupboard. A few score lighter not happy.
Fusebox blowing was down to wife putting water in iron whilst still plugged in. Dripped some down flex and shorted. Fair enough one might think till she tells me its done it before at old place just use to reset fusebox. Is there not a clue then there is an issue did not go down well. So i started checking funeral plans that worked she threw iron in bin...... |
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Going for a job interview on Wednesday, taking the afternoon off work, thinking the interview went well and being told I would know by close of play Friday. Its now mid monday and still nothing.
I am a big boy, I can handle not getting the job just at least tell me |
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Anyone got a set of encyclopaedia Britannica still lying around? if you own a set and can’t find them, they’re probably in your bookcase. If the volume you’re after can’t be found, check your coffee table. |
I have just emailed my MP to see if he knows. He talks so much out his I’m sure he would have a feel for it.
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Happy bloody birthday. |
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When you say change clothes, she often buys me clothes for my birthday, which I don't like, so she has to take them back and either change them for something I might like, or just get the money back, which is more often the case. Still, she seems to enjoy the whole process... |
I have it easier. Just a barbecue. Things I like to eat and drink, with the family, and some left for the next day. Usually a contribution financially from them (depending if my birthday falls when they have liquidity lol).
Tbf. That last point applies to Father's Day. Recently our taxi driver commented that Father's Day is extremely expensive for the father in question, because the adult kids never have any fecking money. Never a truer word spoken, and caused quite a lot of mirth. And yes, the more recent one cost me the lion's share of 100 quid. 'Celebrate good times, come on.' |
I have it even easier, my wife just completely ignores the fact it's my birthday and blithely carries on with whatever she has planned for her day.
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I get asked what i would like to do and then when i tell her she looks disapponited and says is that it.
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:D |
Just read that back:supergrin:
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MU-effin-TV
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You oughta ******* be here.
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On the flipside I do enjoy making a fuss of other people's birthday, so if anyone is ever near birmingham and celebrating let me know and I'll gladly buy you a beer! |
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The verbs.... I can't handle it. It irks me every time I see "I think we sign him", "I think he plays". Can't anything be done about this? We seem to have lost the future tense and all the conditionals. It really does grate.
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'You got this' said in an empty vacuous manner because it sounds good
Similar goes for 'you're a star/legend' for carrying out a simple task |
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https://www.telegraph.co.uk/multimed...m_1700291c.jpg |
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