That celebration players do to the crowd, after winning a game, where they pump their arms, accompanied by a dancing motion (not a great description) - saw the England women do it. The men had done it lots in the past. It is pure cringe. For utter dummies.

Getting a fine for "dropping off" at Heathrow when I paid £163 for Fking parking. Why on earth are they charging £5 just to drop off and use their airport which we already pay for in flight taxes. Theiving bastards. Ive appealed and wasted time fighting with their stupid massive URL and digging out evidence but I had half a mind to simply ignore it. Isnt there some kind of law that they cant actually enforce this as its a private company not a council or government authority?

Protesters getting motorways shut for hours on end. Why did it take so long to get stop oil down from gantries?

Double standard policing/law enforcement. Where one group is treated softly anther heavy handed.

Tops that are factory screwed on so tight, the hulk would struggle to get them off

One of only three parking tickets in my driving career was from Heathrow. Very late one Sunday hardly any cars about. The wife was in the car whilst i went to pick up son from arrivals. Nothing but our car in pick up zone ws 3 minutes over and warden was still writing ticket. Insisting my wife should of driven it ,well sorry but she had been drinking so that was never going to happen.

Why have Tescos changed the name if lettuces. The good old school Round Lettuce is now called Buttercup Lettuce.

Grown men saying "pure cringe".

It’s all cameras and automated now. Drive in, pay or your done. Feel sorry for those that end up there by mistake as they can’t simply drive round, as I did, any more

Not butterhead lettuce?

Thats the one......

:D

Its not often i've been referred to as a grown man.

I was being polite, you're too new for me to go full COTI on yet

The number of "Who is better, Messi or Ronaldo" tweets in my timeline. And if they are one and two, who is three, etc.

People who sit in public places watching videos without headphones.
Utter *****

I have actually offered mine to people, it happens a lot in Spanish cafes.

Top trolling.

You are right, though. Sharkbait undermines the whole point of his own post by dumbing down while complaining about dumbing down.

Tbf this kind of trite nonsense is all over the BBC...

England defender Lucy Bronze's inspiring letter to herself

https://www.bbc.com/sport/football/62253576

Journalism, Sports or whatever, that seems to be targetted at clapping seals.

Pure Cringe.

He is Sharkba1t?

It extends to Palace, though.

Whether itis the marketing teams selling the third kit as the 'evil grafitti sash'...

or something I saw on facebook...

CPFC supporters celebrating a grown man seeing Palace for the first time in the Australian tour. They spoke about him in the third person. But it was like he was a child or some poor sod with a mental deficiency. Not a man in his 50's who could have travelled to Blighty unde his own steam any time over the last 30 years - but for whatever reason hasn't got round it.

I think people are going soft in the brain - is it social media, education, cotton wool fluffiness, emotional intelligence. Something has gone amiss.

Tbf. I can probably date it back to when certain posters had a knicker wetting session when they were laughed at for being grown men taking a packed lunch into work. Now that is Pure Cringe. The world stopped turning at that m oment for me. Especially when I received a PM with the threat of a non-continuing friendship.

:afro::afro:

Same for people in their cars blasting their music, windows down. Their taste may not be for everyone but they think it is.

On intercity buses here, and I have done the same as Maidstoned, and got into rows.

Apparantly, I don't understand the culture that means regaetton music or day time TV must be shared with the whole bus.

Good point well made, he is now out of probation.

There is a direct correlation between the loudness and the shiteness of the music.

And the car it's coming out of...

What's that rubbish the teens currently listen to that's got Pinky and Perky style vocals?

Chipmunk/helium-style vocals have been around for ages - at least since late 80s rave (and of course Alvin and the Chipmunks/Pinky and Perky).

Anyway... I know I've done this before, and I appreciate it will only give Maidstoned Eagle fodder to take the piss, but it really jiggles my cage - I got to get it off my chest somewhere:

Called a guy Tuesday to come and give an estimate to do some brick work repair. He says he will call me early on Thursday morning around 8:00 to get the details. Here we are at 9:30 and no call yet... meanwhile I sit here like a idiot waiting. I understand it's just a phone call and I can carry the phone around with me, but I don't know what his intentions were, whether he intended to come by when he gets the details etc. or what.

So here I am, stuck twiddling my thumbs and getting bored with the BBS!

And yes ME, he is from south of the border, but not sure yet if he rides a Harley. :hi:

Update: I texted him, "Were you going to call me this morning?". He calls me within about 30 seconds. Now coming over at noon... let's see how that pans out!

For hedgehog and his travails

mC Pinkkzy an Perkzda Boys

At least I can post YouTube videos successfully (most times). :rolleyes:

Well that's something.

Cool video by the way... I think I'm having a seizure!

Update please

He showed up at 12:04! Seemed a nice guy.

Starts on the job tomorrow at 7:30am...

Phew!

I can now rest easy till the job is done :)

Don't encourage him for gawd sake.:wallbash:

Go and sit next to them and ruin their viewing experience by constantly staring at them or the video. Failing that just offer them your headphones.

Having to get a UK plate on the car to drive overseas.
Another meaningless gesture by this hopeless government. Despite the GB plate being universally recognised since 1911, apparently we needed the change “to symbolise our unity as a nation”.

Can you hold out for an ENG plate? Don't throw away your GB plates, the UK ones might be short-lived.

Hate this UK plate change ..... I'll just leave my Euro flag GB ones on!

It's always been GB ..... team GB and so on.
UK ... don't we only use that in The Eurovision Song Contest that I can remember ?

People who decide they're going to go out for a jog in the City of London in the middle of rush hour, and then have the temerity to look annoyed themselves when they have to slow down due to the 1000s of people blocking their route.

Look at me running with my bare chest out .... baseball cap backwards type?

Athletics/Olympics is 'GB & NI', isn't it?

Not sure but this UK thing seems to be a nod to the Loyalists in NI?
It's just crap .... GB does the job!

Yes, silly and insensitive idea swapping NI plates for UK ones :-/

lol

Was it Ray?

They need it that loud to be able to hear it over their exhausts and to compete with the motorbikes. Even at a quarter to midnight. Boys and their toys. Look at me.....!!!

Was driving in France last week, had to put on a UK window sticker, the legal ones are massive! But, saw loads of UK cars with nothing at all, or still with the EU GB number plate blue thing only - no one seemed to care. Noticed that the Swiss also have to have massive stickers too. And I "forgot" to put those headlight deflectors on (didn't drive at night anyway) but I hate those things.

The arsehole who drives along Stone Park Avenue in Beckenham on a Quad bike in the wee small hours of the morning, waking me up with the unbelievably loud racket the engine makes. Selfish cnt.

Website that have a Fking great advert at the top that block half the screen and stays no matter if you scroll down. Its like reading stuff through a letterbox.

You'll be more in danger with the French police if you're wearing a gilet jaune than if you're weafing a maillot jaune. ;)

The recent official CPFC message about the Stadium etc. used the word learnings as a noun.

SP - 'This is the single biggest project that the football club has undertaken and the learnings we have from the Academy and first-team practice facilities will be invaluable'.

The whole thing is a mess.

No wonder you kept on working for as long as you did.

You seem to spend a fortune on work on your house.

Keeping up with the Joneses innit.

Oh yes! Good shout.

Yep. That’s pretty annoying.

Drivers in the wrong lane going round a roundabout that suddenly cross lanes at the last second (often without indicating) so they don’t miss their exit.

Slow everyone up and risk a crash because they are too selfish to go round the roundabout again making sure they take the correct lane.

I noticed an increasing number of drivers waiting in the right hand lane at a two lane roundabout or lights and then taking the first left after the junction, meaning they have to cut across the car in the left hand lane

Probably the same dickheads who sit in the left turn lane at lights then scream off undertaking everyone in the correct lane

2022 Leavers' hoodies for Primary school. We get sentimental before we even know what it is these days.

I know Truss was visiting schools, but this seems particularly low. Even for her.

Was in a hospital yesterday.
One lift out of order.
People just can’t queue and get wait their turn.
Scum.

People who write shit poetry.

Seagulls

I thought it was deep and moving.

You talking dirty again?

Able bodied people that use the lift for less than 3 floors

I understand that others get a lot of joy out of poetry but it's one of those things I don't really get any value itself out of the 'form'. There are interesting or amusing things written as a poem that I appreciate or enjoy but it's the thought I enjoy not the 'poem'. i.e. I would never think to buy or even read a book of poems so '***t' poetry doens't bother me too much.

not that fussed about the words to a song either, its the tune/song that I enjoy, something I share with Lennon and McCartney apparently :) (that's not a dig, something I read this week).

Poetry rocks, yeah!
It's beauty is to behold.
Just read and enjoy.

Roses are red,
Like shit poems (Shush...
'Tis a homophone.
Or further whoosh.)

Eagle


Free verse by Maidstoned Eagle

Because I could not display for Eagle,
it did kindly display for me.
Does the Eagle make you shiver?
does it?

Don't belive that the white is impure?
the white is pure beyond belief.
Never forget the theoretical and sheer white.

The duck that's really quacky,
Above all others is the mallard.
Does the mallard make you shiver?
does it?

A fairway, however hard it tries,
Will always be yellow.
Down, down, down into the darkness of the fairway,
Gently it goes - the chickenhearted, the yellowish, the sensationalistic.


(Written with the help of Poem Generator).

That website is surely man's finest achievement. What a gift. How was I unaware?? See ya, twitter...

The Shallow And Angry Brexit
A Poem by Wolfnipples

Whose Brexit is that? I think I know.

He was cross like a dark potato.
I watch him pace. I cry hello.

He gives his finger a shake,
And screams we have made a bad mistake.
The only other sound's the break,
Of distant waves and birds awake.

Brexit is Shallow, Angry and deep,
But it has promises to keep,
Tormented with change, it never sleeps.
Revenge is a promise a man should keep.

Nipple rises from his cursed bed,
With thoughts of snidey remarks in his head,
A flash of rage, and he sees red.
Without a pause, I turned and fled.

Jesus Les, you need to go out more

:)

I was moved.

I moved straight after I added the 3 or 4 words to the poetry generator to the pool. I might get out more tonight to a BBQ with friends:D

Don't call me Jesus, RE.

Les is good:D

Not quite a generator. More a bastardisation of Robert Frost.

While we are on the topic of poetry, I like John Cooper Clarke's haiku.

To-con-vey one’s mood
In sev-en-teen syll-able-s
Is ve-ry dif-fic

Haiku version:

I went to the hospital.
The lift was broken.
People can’t wait their turn. Scum.

Lol :)

Lol
people pushing in front of pregnant women was the last straw.
Why can’t people just wait their turn

Emails that you have repeatedly marked both address and domain as Spam/Junk that continue to get into your Inbox.

The whole Spam/Junk process seems useless/waste of time.

I use Outlook, but recently after reading reviews am trying eM Client... seems equally as inefficient if not worse than Outlook.

Limerick version

There was a young man named Stavros 69
Whose hospital visit was not fine
The lift he found was broke
And though he’s a reasonable bloke
Selfish people caused him to vent online!

Had an old email on my business domain, hacked or spoofed and a shit ton of spam sent from it now all my emails from that domain are going straight to everyones junk

If I read that correct, that would be the main problem people talk about when doing a Google search for the Junk problem.

More people seem concerned about legitimate emails going to junk, than getting junk emails in their inboxes.

I see you can make every email go to junk except those you designate as OK. A bit like the tail wagging the dog... I'm not sure I like that option as you never know when you will get an email from a long lost friend, or from someone or some place that you need to see.

I guess my complaint (annoyance) is email domains or address that you mark as Junk still ending up in you inbox days after marking them as Junk. In other words the function does not work.

Just waiting for Tory leadership comedy to start on BBC1 and caught the tail end of ‘Extraordinary Portraits’. My god it should be called ‘Extraordinary Egos’. What a load of self obsessed, talentless bell ends.

Twice in a day. Eating figs

When you say last straw....?

Disposable BBQs being used in public places. The damage they cause can be horrendous and I think people should go to prison for it. Case in point below.

https://twitter.com/MordenHallPkNT/s...84876196651008

More of a things that make me angry.

13 year olds vaping.

Idris Elbas booking.com advert where he recites a poem that is so bad, that if my 2 year old son had brought it home from nursery having spent all afternoon writing it, I would be incredibly disappointed in him.

I really like a lot of the TV etc. he has made, and in those shows he is the epitome of cool. As himself he seems to come across as a bit of a tool. I caught a snippet of him being interviewed at his table at the Brits. He was trying far too hard to be down with the youth, overly fawny with stars and award winners of the show,and his dress sense was odd. It was hard to tell it was him.

Car Insurance companies who send you a renewal at a price that does not reflect reality.
They just fly a kite and hope that some their customers grab hold.
I know its been like this for years, but the game just continues despite promises that it would change.

As soon as you threaten to go elsewhere, they miraculously come up with a more competitive rate.

I'm fed up playing their game every year, but they all do it.

Just Idris Elba will do, bloke’s a rash on telly and radio all the bloody time.

People who have expensive cars that will have bluetooth but still hold their mobile hand and use the speaker to talk. Same idiots that walk down the street holding the phone 2 ft infront of thier face with the speaker on so we can all enjoy how important they are

Not only are they breaking the law, but now so are people who use their mobile phones whilst driving for any purpose, including changing the music in their car.


The law forbids the use of a communication device whilst driving and the High Court in an appeal hearing has just ruled that the ordinary and natural meaning of the words of the law do not require that communication to be with or from another person. It follows therefore this forbids the communication with another device, including via Bluetooth.

I blame the apprentice.

Smart phone.

What is the ironic/sarcastic term used for phrases like this?

Thrown in Customer Service.

Maybe the phone needs to be smart because the people aren't.

That's interesting, so legally can't use Bluetooth now? Hmm. I get puzzled by people in modern cars that drive with airpods (other wireless listening devices are available) in. Why do that?

Are we allowed to use our phones as sat navs?

For example, i can use the sat nav in the car whilst driving, but it doesn't do traffic updates so sometimes I use my phone, would I be allowed to, for example, select an alternate route by touching my phone screen (it's mounted on the dash)?