Trying to speak to somebody on the phone from a company and getting the message: You can contact us via Facebook.

Not all of us are on Facebook you twats.

:)

Painting over fvcking cobwebs. Wankers.

Trying to spend an Evans gift voucher.

Accepting corporate tickets to Twickenham on Sat knowing i have to limit that amount i drink in order to be able to drink at Stamford Bridge on Sun!

Some jobsworth prick in our finance department rejecting my expenses claim outright because the description of the expense (max 25 characters) was not descriptive enough to confirm the expense claim was work-related.

Apparently people in my work go on holiday to two cities in Greece for four days all the time then, submit a load of random receipts and hope no one notices.

He then doubled down on initial twattery by ignoring any emails from both me and budget holder for past 24 hours asking wtf he was playing at or how to resolve.

Meanwhile I'm a trifle shy of £300 out of pocket.

#Bellend

There are easier ways to tell people you have corporate tickets for twickers this weekend.

Nah im not a big rugby fan so couldn’t care less for the tickets, more the booze up that will ensue. I can’t handle my drink all that well.

You mean 'MacArgos'
:moo:

Attachment 51623

My neighbour has put up Xmas lights

Fecking knobber:jerkit::jerkit:

Prepare to get faced. There's a certain novelty value to be able to be drinking in the ground through the match if you're used to football grounds. Last time I was there the beer pumps broke down so I went on the vino, I was properly wrecked. Good luck with the journey home - it's an effing nightmare.

Things that annoy you
 

I’m at Twickenham this Saturday too and it’s the first time I’ve ever been to a rugby match. Looking forward to it, although I’m not a rugby fan at all. One thing is for sure, we’ll probably drink more Guinness than we have blood. It will be strange being able to drink in the stands too.

Why is it a nightmare getting out Forza? We’re going by train.

Technobabble

What? Surfaced? Real Estate?

I'm not entirely sure but I think he means, if you want your app to be noticed you have to have it in Apple's app store.

It's pretty out of the way and the thing is it's not bad going there when people arrive in dribs and drabs but the gaff seizes up a bit when you get all those people going at once. Best thing is to arrange something to see it out for a while after.

more beer! Woohoo!

Hehe, this is my worry. I fully plan to be on booze again by Sunday.

Things that annoy you
 

Okay thanks. Sound like a good time to have a beer after and then find our way home, much like at Wembley at FT.

Just keep on going Joe into Sunday. Sleeps for losers [emoji4][emoji6]

Pah ! At 33, you should still be able to just push on through ...

That's exactly the strategy to follow, and you'll find the train station absolutely fine if you leave it for at least an hour after the final whistle. Last time I did that, I bumped into Justin, late of this parish, in the bar I was drinking at.

One of the worst things about Wembley is they shut the ****** bars straight after the game! Wankers

My hernia

Which has stopped me going to the lakes for a long weekend of walking and drinking. And not to mention the 4 hours in A&E yesterday

The term "online reset" haha

The term 'singing section'. Sounds like a choir.

Ah FFS.
The apocalypse has started.

It’s only a matter of time before Eye-Dee shows up.

Oh yes, I remember him. He’s one that needs adding to the ‘missing members’ thread.

Always wondered what the holmesdale basement looked like :p

After the semi and final, we went to Waggamamas (sp) in the 'village' to have food and drink. Was then a piece of piss to get to one of the stations and home. In fairness, after the final I just wanted out and to be home again though.

Had an open hand palmar fasciectomy Monday last week.

Been one handed for nearly two weeks now. Managed to get to football on Sunday, Tuesday and Wednesday but got a bit of a bollocking from surgeon.:)

Stings a bit.

So you won’t be able to applaud Palace victories for a bit?

Maybe you timed that well.

I managed ok on Sunday.... just somewhat muffled.:)

Dupuytren's Contracture?

Yep.

Don't let them waste all that practice.

Does it feel like someone else is doing it ?

I had a touch of that. Specialist advised against operating.

I’ll show you the pics next time we have a beer.:eek::eek:

Unfortunately not. Had an Axial block for the surgery which was really f*cking weird though.

I looked over during the op and my arm was not where I thought it was. :D

Sounds cool :eek:

Hope it turns out ok

Same here. Apparently it’s got to get a lot worse before they’ll consider doing anything.:frown:

In all seriousness get it done as soon as you can. I pushed myself to get it done when I saw my extended family in the summer. Some of em are walking around with bloody claw grips.

Mine wasn’t too bad but it was in my left hand and I’m left handed.

What is this ?

Going for a quiet pint and the pub turning into a crèche

Thai takeaway and the lack of meat

A Chinese takeaway that doesn’t deliver to my house. Don’t do collection!

That's what most guys pray for at the end of a night in Bangkok.

Your Chinese takeaway doesn't do delivery or collection? What is it a virtual one ;)

Nespresso Coffee ad. Clooney top bloke and actor, Natalie Dormer top actress and one of the sexiest women on the planet. But a painfully unfunny advert.

Ha - just re-read that. They don’t do delivery round here, only collection. I don’t do collection on a Friday night as it’s end of week beer night. Still annoys me as I live Chinese and find Indian too heavy (which does deliver).

Do you deliver ?

No only chicken and pork ..

I’m here all week

The last leg. Why the **** is this shit on my TV still. A cabbage faced ginger mummy’s boy, a dull amateur completely out of his depth, and the smuggest man in the world smirking his way off the negative end of the unfunny scale.

One of the worst tv shows ever made. **** off **** off **** off.

Commercial toilet roll dispensers.

People who can't change the channel on their tv

Is that the one where he is dressed up in a suit of armor?

To be honest all the Nespresso ads with Mr. Clooney and A.N. Other star are pretty weak. Although I would say he carries them off pretty well for what they are, i.e. not taking himself too serious.

People who are constantly changing the TV channels in case they are missing something on another channel... yes you Mrs. Hedgehog!

Xmas songs on the radio on 3rd November

AAVVLTOT

Yes, thats the one.

Bus drivers who can't keep their vehicle in the designated bus lane: if I drove half in the bus lane I'd be fined, these wankers should get the same for diving half out of it :grrr:

This horrible, vomit-inducing expression "smarts" I'd rather be fick.

The army of occupation that is HS2. Orange clad bastards. Road closures and demolition everywhere.

Norovirus

Pushy Waiters ( insincere and tip wary )

Rude arrogant policeman ( ruin it for the good ones )

Drivers of sports cars ( look at me and my penis extension )

Musicians at pub gigs who criticise the band ( why aren't they playing somewhere ?

Reality tv ( rapidly dumbing down the young, they think it's real . )

Fake marmite ( there can be only one )

BT help desk. Fuffing nightmare.

Discovered that escalating issues simply means that someone with a louder voice and less likely to listen to what the actual problem is rings you up and tries to wear you down so much that you will go away. Why do they start every call by stating that the problem I have is something different to the one I have reported? Do they not read the fault description? Apparently not. I have a lot of sympathy for help desk staff having worked in and around them at one point but the last 2 calls have ended with the adrenaline overload making my hands shake! It has something to do with them giving me bulls**t answers that would make no sense to a 5 year old. Sheesh.

Get paid quite well for it aswell:p:p

Saturday morning charity walks that infringe on my bike riding (on designated bike paths I should add).

Half pissed, Rugby felt like i was attendinng the Tory party confrence.


Can’t wait for tomorrow. Come on you Palace.

The northun monkeys join in, but it’s mostly a girl from Kensington. Although she is a Fulham fan who I’ve given plenty of grief for the opening day and their general shitmess this season, so I suppose she’s desperate for something to get at me with :)

EFA

HP printer Help pages. Bloody useless

:p:lux:

My Dad had this pretty badly and had both hands operated on. I got it a bit in my feet, my sister has it mildly in both hands.
It’s also known as Viking claw or some such. Crops up in people of Scandy descent.

I feel the same about "savvy"

My left hand is getting quite awkward to use but my right is currently ok. I’ve also got it in my left foot. :(

The hand operation worked for my old man. Hope (as I do) that it doesn't also manifest as Peyronie's disease. I hear that can be very uncomfortable, and limiting.
I stopped the advance in my feet by stopping taking glucosamine (inspiration from my wife) - the doctors over here couldn't help; it's highly uncommon in Spain.

Bloody hell, just started taking glucosamine for my knees....am I going to get dodgy plates now?

It seems to be a recognised link: https://www.arthritisresearchuk.org/...ntracture.aspx

Worked for me, the growth stopped and has probably regressed, I think.

My brother-in-law suffers from the condition and had his right hand operated on. He suffered so much pain afterwards that he has vowed not to have his left hand done.

Getting a Coldplay song stuck in your head... I can't stop singing it in my brain.

What's that all about - I don't even know what it's title is?

Wimp....

It stings a bit.;)

Stitches out tomorrow. Couple of bits haven’t healed yet though in the middle of the palm and at the base of one finger. Bit concerned about this but I’m sure it’ll heal up eventually.

Have you started hopping on one leg like you need a piss yet ?

NBC app being unprepared to broadcast the proper kickoff time.

Phases of play.

What, and get mistaken for Ian Anderson?

Chelsea FC a soulless club with a gormless looking owner.

I do that anyway... but I actually do need a piss!

There's a time and a place for wisecracks like this - and the time was 40 years ago.

:)

More like 50 years.

Cpfc under investment , three more quality players and we are a team

Transitions

Damn.... I just read this and it's started up again!

HELP!

you must be Thick as a Brick

Just figured out it "Don't Panic" from the Parachute albums.

Maybe it was a subliminal message about Palace.

Mate stop living in the past.:D

I think I'm too young to understand the last page.