If it’s what it takes to get rid of Silverwood…

This game won't see lunch . Root gone.

Supine.

Right time for bed

Come on, innings victory is on.

“A Buttler special”

What is one of those Harmy?

If I were Boland I would retire now. Can't get much better for him.

Yes it can.

Can he get more wickets than runs conceded? I think he can

Well done Scott Boland. Bowl in the right area, take wickets.

6 for 5

FFS

What a shower of *****.

Probably dropped next test to bring Hazelwood back.

Disgraceful.
From top to bottom.
Absolutely horrific

Count the cliches after

I’m looking forward to the post match interviews.

With who ?

Joe will go away and learn some lessons

We’ll come back stronger

Dig deep to give the fans something to smile about in the remaining tests

We’ll study the data (at which point I clean him out from a grassy knoll)

At least they now realise they don't need to cheat in order to win.

That’s now ancient history.

We are hopeless.

Root and Silverwood.

Bingo.

Not had the rub of the green though.

Jos Buttler taking a single - just not even bothered TRYING to make them bat again.

They genuinely look like a team throwing wickets away to get back on the surf board. Absolute tossers. Public school arse-shagging tossers.

Indeed. probably makes him feel better.

horrific performance, absolutely gutless. Root our only good bat, but some of these should have been binned off years ago, Bairstow, Buttler ffs never been test level batsmen. Crawley has been utter shite apart from one mad innings, so why bring him back in. Stokes on his day great player, but seems to be amazing one game and total shite in the next five, way too inconsistent. Fair play to Jimmy Anderson bowled superbly yesterday about the only positive from the game.

My wife’s just said the worst thing about this series is they’re not even a hateful Australian team. Even my missus thinks the English are wet weekends. :D

Finn now on TMS.

Get ready for an absolute ROASTING

Oh he’s being quite nice

Silverwood needs to go now. Put Eoin Morgan in place before the next test.

You have to say that without a competitive ashes series test cricket is in real trouble. The death knell is being sounded.

I honestly don't know how you loose by an innings and a handful when the oppo only got 267.

I feel better now, because they've actually finally won it outright with no controversy.

We are shit.

Should play against the Australian Women's Team next time, might be able to avoid being whitewashed.

the only hope is that covid wipes out the remaining 2 games so at least it can go down as a 3-0 loss rather than 5-0.

Fireworks going off all over Mumbai.

lol - at least you only have to watch us twice every four years

I'm English, obviously you have'nt picked up on that.

Disgrace. But we’re just not good enough. We can talk about changes and this that and the other but we are quite literally shit at red ball cricket.

Too much time and money invested in white ball cricket has left us with shit. The Hundred, played in July and August just to get the kids and Mums involved. **** off! Absolute bollocks.

Matt Smith on BT: “we should point out we always get hammered Down Under”

^that’s precisely the noncey upper class attitude that infests the English game and holds it back - you think Bruce and his mates are saying that on their Qantas jet on the way over here?

Root and Silverwood currently waiting for the ‘three nil down’ Powerpoint page to load

Whoops, my bad. Noted. :p

Who do we blame for this now Burns has already been dropped?

The 100 sums up absolutely everything wrong with English cricket.

‘It is what it is’ straight off the bat from Root

They say that but it’s designed for banksters to swill away the night in the summer and buy £20 falafel burgers.

Opportunity

This test was an opportunity a couple of days ago

Will he dare say “you can’t legislate for [x]”?

Even Root would draw the line there. Wouldn’t he?

Make the ****ers walk to Sydney. They've got a 2 and a half day start, so should be just about doable.

How can Moeen sit there and not launch into a tirade? Fair play to him for keeping his counsel.

It is what it is - **** off Root you soppy twat.

"The way we went about our cricket was excellent" has he been watching a different 2 day international to everyone else?

Root as captain is the equivalent of promoting the best salesman to sales manager. Just because they are good at one job doesn't mean that they're going to be good at the other, and just because Root is by far our best batsman doesn't mean he's any good as captain. That needs to immediately change, but who to give it to? Not Stokes, too injury prone, mental health issues, too inconsistent etc and i can't think of any other sensible options in the current setup barring a very short term fix of someone like Jimmy. Just give it to whoever the best captain is in county cricket and hope they can get a few runs. Far too important a role to not have someone that's good at it.

“Credit to the guys for fronting up”

“I actually thought that the way we went about our cricket on the field was excellent”

“We’ve just got to do things for longer”

“We have to look to keep getting better”

Brilliant Joe.

Lol an innings defeat. What a joke the ashes have become. Guess test cricket isn’t where it’s at for the U.K.

This must be boring for the Aussies even.

.

I cannot fault the execution of our software.

The way we went about our data was excellent.

Amazing, I blame the ball. It was fast and straight

So much to learn so much data to analyse….

We go again

We’ll keep believing

Some other meaningless old bollocks he’s stolen off the Palace Twitter or Cheryl Cole’s Instagram page

Silverwood…

“We had a good honest chat.”

Ok mate. Nice one.

To be fair, the writing was on the wall when the covid test came back negative

We remain fully committed to Office 365

In hindsight we’ve been a bit short with the PowerPoint template

We need to try and spend more time at the keyboard

Embarassing, pathetic and frankly incompetent.

The Aussie fans might want to ask for their money back such was the lack of competition.

It's like Ricky Gervais has written a sport version of The Office.

Will upset the Kent folk but it’s a joke we have 45 year olds playing county cricket. Harmison is spot on.

I actually can’t believe Chris Silverwood has just come out saying how many positives there are to take after SCOTT BOLAND just took SIX WICKETS for SEVEN RUNS.

https://twitter.com/btsportcricket/s...993071110?s=20

Genuinely the most delusional interview in the history of sport.

Here’s a fun fact: Mitchell Starc would be England’s third highest run scorer in the series.

I mean you’d drown yourself in Summer Bay if you were a top order England bat knocking less than Starc.

Delusional. Don’t Yorkies like to think of themselves as calling a spade, a spade? :angel:

I'm just glad that our state hard border
caused the Perth test to be scrapped!

Silverwood: He is so hopeless, he's been given a basket to carry water but he doesn't even realise. Still toeing the line for his ECB masters...who will soon be giving him the crunch

Grow a fackin pair you prick!!

Nope. :p

If the players aren't good enough, and get beaten by the better side, fair enough. The cupboard seems pretty bare in this regard and maybe we do have the best players available to us out there.

But, continual insipid gutlessness is simply unacceptable, no matter what level of skill / ability. That falls at the door of the culture in the dressing room and therefore coaching team.

Coaching clear out required. Root has never been rated as a great captain, but who else is there that has a nailed down spor in the team for the next few years?

As an Aussie..................that was ****en ugly.
We retain the Ashes which is fantastic, but tbh, the cricket has been third rate for the most part. Aussies bowled good line and length, I'll give us that, but how many times do your chaps want to go out the same way. Haven't learnt a thing your mob in 3 Tests, criminal.

True, you might as well play Oz womens team it will be more of a contest

“68 Runs, the Ashes die,
68 Runs, no bottle, cry……”

It's ok, there's a T20 series against the Windies at the end of January - Much more important:rolleyes:

Perhaps we can arrange an Int'l version of the 100 ? That would be great !

Phew 4-0 I will take it now haha

We can blame 100/t20/IPL etc but Australians play IPL/t20 and lots more and still manage to win ashes.

We have a army of analysts and still can’t come up with a solution as to how to play modern day cricket

Good job we are not in the business of building an empire

This :hi:

Warney will accuse Starc of not trying when he bowls to his wife!

The problems run deep and start at the top. ECB needs to stop chasing the money and start focusing on red ball cricket again. Begins with the format and calendar of county cricket.

Indeed, and that’s a rebuild that would take a number of years. I just can’t see it being a true priority while Harrison is in charge.

This article is spot on.

https://www.cricbuzz.com/cricket-new...-rooted-issues

A bit. But this tour was always going to be a pandemic plod.

Precious little time to acclimatise and play some warm up games.

Pretty heroic that we even traveled out there.

It's almost as if England no longer cares about test cricket

True but the batting has been poor for years and largely carried by Root. The county championship isn't producing players of sufficient calibre...blame the ECB for that one too.

Yes. I'm not sure we realized what a treasure we had in Alastair Cook. Technique and patience. The dull things.

It's a problem right through cricket. County academies focus on hitting power and variety of shots tather than technique. They are preparing kids to play short forms of cricket

Heroic?

Really.

We got on a plane. In the current climate that's pretty heroic.

The thirteenth time in 2021 that England have failed to score 200 or more in a Test match innings, this time for a score any Test batsman should achieve on their own

Straya got a score just over 250 and won comfortably by an innings

The team should fly home immediately to save further embarrassment

That’s a low bar you’re setting there Bob. Perhaps we need a bit more spunk.

It's when the County Championship is played - Freezing April, then May, maybe the odd game in the middle of the Summer, then September, when it's cooling down again - The pitches are not likely to be at their best on those months, either - Seaming wickets not encouraging quick or slow bowling and making difficult for batters to build an innings.

All so that T20 and this 100 nonsense, can rule the roost.

It isn’t just about the time of year red ball cricket is played. For years the quality of the CC has been going downhill. Reduce the number of counties so there is one division of teams playing each other once, say 14 teams and one relegation spot to Minor Counties. You’ll get better quality games and better quality players at the end of it.

So that makes me a hero too then,

I guess I should thank you, but your statement is too ludicrous for words.

EFA

Whilst we’re on the subject of the spackers at the ECB, arrows to them for scheduling four consecutive series against the best bowling attacks in the world (by a long chalk): India, India, NZ and Australia.

There will obviously be a fallow year to come when we pump SL and WI in May and June and Crawley bangs another double hundred in sub zero Durham to partially pay back Daddy’s investment.

Agers spot on in his BBC summary

Silverwood: "We have to find a way of moving forward”