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adrenalin john 17-12-2021 10:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by art malice (Post 16155419)
Wonder what Graham Thorpe does?

As in coke or ecstasy?

0.bj 17-12-2021 10:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by art malice (Post 16155419)
Wonder what Graham Thorpe does?

We had a batting coach on a Sunday, who got into analytics around the time Peter Moores was trying to make Laptop Manager a thing.

The extent of his ‘coaching’ was to remark along the lines of “that’s the seventh time you’ve been out lbw this season” as you trudged back to the club house. Funnily enough, he regularly found himself left out of rounds. :D

Worksop Palace 17-12-2021 10:21 AM

Anyone still think Burns is anything but a standard county level player?

Horrendous batsman

art malice 17-12-2021 10:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 0.bj (Post 16155424)
We had a batting coach on a Sunday, who got into analytics around the time Peter Moores was trying to make Laptop Manager a thing.

The extent of his ‘coaching’ was to remark along the lines of “that’s the seventh time you’ve been out lbw this season” as you trudged back to the club house. Funnily enough, he regularly found himself left out of rounds. :D

He's probably in the England dressing room right now.

davech 17-12-2021 10:27 AM

I turn my back to post on Memory Lane and now look!! The only reason they didn't get 500 was to declare for a late pop at us and it worked at treat. We are truly dreadful at the 5-day game. This has to be Burns' last test. We simply cannot bat 'properly' any more. The ECB with their obsession with Bish Bash Bosh (aka Beer Matches) are killing test cricket for us.

All we can hope for is to not lose by an innings. So very sad.

jmemour 17-12-2021 10:30 AM

Pathetic.

Aki Aki Aki 17-12-2021 10:31 AM

Inevitable to give the new bloke an easy first wicket

GrayP41ace 17-12-2021 10:32 AM

Why doesn't Root just open. He faces the new ball every innings anyway.

Norwich_Eagle 17-12-2021 10:33 AM

It is so pathetically obvious.

Would be better off sending in Broad and Anderson to open at this point.

Little Fozzie 17-12-2021 10:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aki Aki Aki (Post 16155312)
Come on Jim, you know how it works with England. Aus 460 all out, England 30-3 at the close, the ball swinging all over the place :D .

I'll take 30 at this point.

GrayP41ace 17-12-2021 10:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Little Fozzie (Post 16155442)
I'll take 30 at this point.

I wouldn't rule out 30 all out tbh!

davech 17-12-2021 10:41 AM

Two down. "Openers" lasted a combined total of 24 balls. Pathetic. And this track is supposedly a 'road'? Useless gits will be back in before they know it. All over by tea tomorrow?

Norwich_Eagle 17-12-2021 10:43 AM

You know that this is no contest when the Australian weather is getting involved in delaying the game.

GrayP41ace 17-12-2021 10:44 AM

Imagine praying for bad weather every England innings, not to salvage a draw, but to just drag a defeat into a 4th day :D

GrayP41ace 17-12-2021 10:52 AM

Most explosive thing in an England innings is a bolt of lightning ffs.

0.bj 17-12-2021 10:53 AM

Get the Buttler Booster. You won’t catch COVID. You won’t catch anything.

davech 17-12-2021 10:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Worksop Palace (Post 16155425)
Anyone still think Burns is anything but a standard county level player?

Horrendous batsman

There are probably club cricketers with better technique.

Tomo 17-12-2021 10:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by davech (Post 16155429)
I turn my back to post on Memory Lane and now look!! The only reason they didn't get 500 was to declare for a late pop at us and it worked at treat. We are truly dreadful at the 5-day game. This has to be Burns' last test. We simply cannot bat 'properly' any more. The ECB with their obsession with Bish Bash Bosh (aka Beer Matches) are killing test cricket for us.

All we can hope for is to not lose by an innings. So very sad.

Thing is, we aren't even picking batsmen doing well in the shorter formats. We just aren't giving batsmen like Burns and Hameed regular time to learn their game. The country game is tacked on within the season and not taken seriously enough.

GB2506 17-12-2021 11:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tomo (Post 16155458)
Thing is, we aren't even picking batsmen doing well in the shorter formats. We just aren't giving batsmen like Burns and Hameed regular time to learn their game. The country game is tacked on within the season and not taken seriously enough.

Have said this time and time again. If you play county championship games in early April/May and then late September/October on green wickets and overcast conditions where Darren Stevens is causing carnage bowing at 70mph, how on earth do you expect to produce test quality batsman?!

desperado 17-12-2021 12:36 PM

Good to see Rory Burns improving

Out first ball in the first innings of the first Test he managed to last three balls this time

Well done Rory, continue this improvement and you could survive the first over in the next Test

Timbo 17-12-2021 02:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aki Aki Aki (Post 16155410)
Please just f-off Burns. Utterly useless

....but he's from Epsom FFS!

RazorsEdge 17-12-2021 02:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by art malice (Post 16155400)
I was joking

:)

RazorsEdge 17-12-2021 02:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by art malice (Post 16155419)
Wonder what Graham Thorpe does?

Sorts the kit for batsmen’s and makes sure they are all clean and ready for players.

Hard job that is

ebyeeckeagle 17-12-2021 03:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GB2506 (Post 16155471)
Have said this time and time again. If you play county championship games in early April/May and then late September/October on green wickets and overcast conditions where Darren Stevens is causing carnage bowing at 70mph, how on earth do you expect to produce test quality batsman?!

Negged for gratuitous dig at Sir Darren.

Worksop Palace 17-12-2021 04:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by davech (Post 16155457)
There are probably club cricketers with better technique.

Probably?

Olympian2 17-12-2021 05:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by davech (Post 16155457)
There are probably club cricketers with better technique.

One assumes they’ve all chosen NOT to be professional cricketers then…

RazorsEdge 17-12-2021 08:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Olympian2 (Post 16155891)
One assumes they’ve all chosen NOT to be professional cricketers then…

Or they went to the wrong school…

Bones14 17-12-2021 09:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GB2506 (Post 16155471)
Have said this time and time again. If you play county championship games in early April/May and then late September/October on green wickets and overcast conditions where Darren Stevens is causing carnage bowing at 70mph, how on earth do you expect to produce test quality batsman?!

Character name in Bewitched wasn't it.
Dick York/Dick Sargeant.

I personally preferred Dick York, but i was seriously in love with Elizabeth Montgomery as a kid.

Back to the cricket:supergrin:

RazorsEdge 17-12-2021 09:58 PM

What is Bewitched? I know baywatch….

Back to cricket like Bones says :)

Bones14 17-12-2021 10:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RazorsEdge (Post 16156728)
What is Bewitched? I know baywatch….

Back to cricket like Bones says :)

American tv show in the 70’s whereby a mortal male marries a female witch. Great show

Eagle's Nest 17-12-2021 11:18 PM

Anyone getting up at 4am to watch this?

Nor me.

GB2506 17-12-2021 11:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ebyeeckeagle (Post 16155801)
Negged for gratuitous dig at Sir Darren.

I’m a huge Kent fan and Darren Stevens is god. He dismissed Labuschagne twice this summer against Glamorgan for a combined score of about 15. Get him in the Ashes side!!!’

Tomo 18-12-2021 04:33 AM

No one other than me bothered to watch this morning then!

RazorsEdge 18-12-2021 04:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bones14 (Post 16157013)
American tv show in the 70’s whereby a mortal male marries a female witch. Great show

I did google and also googled Elizabeth Montgomery can’t blame you to be in love.

RazorsEdge 18-12-2021 04:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eagle's Nest (Post 16157110)
Anyone getting up at 4am to watch this?

Nor me.

Yes

RazorsEdge 18-12-2021 04:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tomo (Post 16157398)
No one other than me bothered to watch this morning then!

I love cricket and always watch it

RazorsEdge 18-12-2021 04:37 AM

Hooking s bouncer is a art and Malan done that beautifully

ebyeeckeagle 18-12-2021 04:40 AM

Lyons seems to have Malan always struggling

RazorsEdge 18-12-2021 04:44 AM

Pitch looks flat but can we bat is the question.

I know Bones said this will favour spin as days go by and I am now beginning to wonder if root can get 10 wickets

RazorsEdge 18-12-2021 04:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ebyeeckeagle (Post 16157405)
Lyons seems to have Malan always struggling

Yup

churley1988 18-12-2021 05:15 AM

I’m not a huge cricket fan and appreciate there might be covid measures in place, but is it always that empty in the stadium there?

Looks like a lovely day for it, seems odd to me.

ebyeeckeagle 18-12-2021 05:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by churley1988 (Post 16157411)
I’m not a huge cricket fan and appreciate there might be covid measures in place, but is it always that empty in the stadium there?

Looks like a lovely day for it, seems odd to me.

Xmas shopping is Agnews guess. Looks gorgeous. Personally prefer the slightly freezing misty rain that I am going to be standing in watching my son play in about 5 hours ;)

churley1988 18-12-2021 05:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ebyeeckeagle (Post 16157412)
Xmas shopping is Agnews guess. Looks gorgeous. Personally prefer the slightly freezing misty rain that I am going to be standing in watching my son play in about 5 hours ;)

Ha, hope your son wins his game! Perfect conditions for a few slide tackles.

Tomo 18-12-2021 06:15 AM

A much needed session win for England. Let’s hope we can do it for another session.

ExiledStirling 18-12-2021 06:52 AM

Fantastic resistance and has the potential to match Australia's first innings.

However I cannot shake off the feeling of when will the batting collapse begin ��

ExiledStirling 18-12-2021 06:56 AM

Probably now ��

KYLIE MINEAGLE 18-12-2021 06:58 AM

Root gone

ebyeeckeagle 18-12-2021 07:08 AM

Root looked very comfortable but that can happen after a break.

Can the mid order knuckle down, concentrate and be disciplined? There's a body of evidence that suggests not.....

RazorsEdge 18-12-2021 07:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ExiledStirling (Post 16157691)
Probably now ��

Stop vexing :)

RazorsEdge 18-12-2021 07:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ebyeeckeagle (Post 16157699)
Root looked very comfortable but that can happen after a break.

Can the mid order knuckle down, concentrate and be disciplined? There's a body of evidence that suggests not.....

Well we can only hope

RazorsEdge 18-12-2021 07:17 AM

Starc is back

RazorsEdge 18-12-2021 07:19 AM

Starc strikes

ExiledStirling 18-12-2021 07:21 AM

:(

bradpitt 18-12-2021 07:22 AM

They’ll wrap this up in an hour

Olympian2 18-12-2021 07:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bradpitt (Post 16157706)
They’ll wrap this up in an hour

The innings or the match? :p

RazorsEdge 18-12-2021 07:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Olympian2 (Post 16157708)
The innings or the match? :p

The latter I believe lol

Worksop Palace 18-12-2021 07:31 AM

We really are quite pathetic aren’t we.

RazorsEdge 18-12-2021 07:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Worksop Palace (Post 16157714)
We really are quite pathetic aren’t we.

Clueless more than pathetic.

Playing test match is a art which we don't seem to posses

ExiledStirling 18-12-2021 07:44 AM

So disappointing honestly thought the two of them would have reached a partnership in double figures

doogleboy 18-12-2021 07:47 AM

Pathetic again.

GB2506 18-12-2021 08:03 AM

Hopefully that’s the end of Pope as well. He’s so poor.

adrenalin john 18-12-2021 08:06 AM

Butler needs to go the same way as the snicks coming his way - dropped

ExiledStirling 18-12-2021 08:07 AM

We won the morning session and no one can take that away from us

Palace Kebab 18-12-2021 08:10 AM

We are making Australia look like the team they used to be…which they aren’t

RazorsEdge 18-12-2021 08:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ExiledStirling (Post 16157719)
So disappointing honestly thought the two of them would have reached a partnership in double figures

They did start well and the break seemed to make them loose the concentration which is a worry, i do not think the bowling was that exciting, poor shot selection more like it

cpfc 81 18-12-2021 08:13 AM

Gutless.

GB2506 18-12-2021 08:13 AM

Buttler is a joke. Shouldn’t be anywhere near the test side but he’s Joe Roots good mate so won’t ever be dropped. The whole setup needs changing from top to bottom.

Palace Kebab 18-12-2021 08:14 AM

23 out of 23 catches versus England’s dropping catches habitually

ExiledStirling 18-12-2021 08:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RazorsEdge (Post 16157735)
They did start well and the break seemed to make them loose the concentration which is a worry, i do not think the bowling was that exciting, poor shot selection more like it

Here is hoping Stokes and Woakes get the 6 more runs needed to make their partnership the second best of the innings so far

Olympian2 18-12-2021 08:16 AM

Aussie commentators suggesting that Bracey might come in for England. Clueless ****wits.

RazorsEdge 18-12-2021 08:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ExiledStirling (Post 16157740)
Here is hoping Stokes and Woakes get the 6 more runs needed to make their partnership the second best of the innings so far

Made me laugh. Yes

I do think we are now looking at 4 or 5 nil series loss

Aki Aki Aki 18-12-2021 08:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Olympian2 (Post 16157741)
Aussie commentators suggesting that Bracey might come in for England. Clueless ****wits.

:D they are as moronic as our cricket team. Neither fit for purpose

Big Blue Eagle 18-12-2021 08:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Olympian2 (Post 16157741)
Aussie commentators suggesting that Bracey might come in for England. Clueless ****wits.

Foakes is with the Lions, looks a good bet to replace Buttler. As for Pope, he is still the batsman with most potential behind Root in the team, but Lyon seems to just have his number right now.

ExiledStirling 18-12-2021 08:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ExiledStirling (Post 16157740)
Here is hoping Stokes and Woakes get the 6 more runs needed to make their partnership the second best of the innings so far

They have bloody done it.

Fight back is back on.

Tomo 18-12-2021 08:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Big Blue Eagle (Post 16157748)
Foakes is with the Lions, looks a good bet to replace Buttler. As for Pope, he is still the batsman with most potential behind Root in the team, but Lyon seems to just have his number right now.

Lions have flown home now, haven’t they?

GB2506 18-12-2021 08:31 AM

Woakes should be batting 5 and I’m not even joking

Worksop Palace 18-12-2021 08:34 AM

I think there maybe some people falling on swords after this series

Absolute shit show.

Pathetic, gutless and throw in a sprinkling of over rated bang average ‘test cricketers’ like Burns, Buttler, Pope and you have a piss poor team.

Worst I can remember for a while. And there’s been some shite ones.

Embarrassing

Worksop Palace 18-12-2021 08:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Big Blue Eagle (Post 16157748)
Foakes is with the Lions, looks a good bet to replace Buttler. As for Pope, he is still the batsman with most potential behind Root in the team, but Lyon seems to just have his number right now.

I thought Foakes was injured and that’s why he wasn’t in the squad. If he is fit then playing Buttler is even more of a joke than I realised.

Jobs for the boys.

Worksop Palace 18-12-2021 08:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GB2506 (Post 16157755)
Woakes should be batting 5 and I’m not even joking

Well that just shows how shit our batting line up is then.

Aki Aki Aki 18-12-2021 08:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Worksop Palace (Post 16157763)
I thought Foakes was injured and that’s why he wasn’t in the squad. If he is fit then playing Buttler is even more of a joke than I realised.

Jobs for the boys.

Pretty sure he played and performed for the Lions last week, so I assume he's fit and in some kind of form. If he's gone home and JB is next in line it says everything about this tour. Pathetic.

Big Blue Eagle 18-12-2021 08:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Worksop Palace (Post 16157763)
I thought Foakes was injured and that’s why he wasn’t in the squad. If he is fit then playing Buttler is even more of a joke than I realised.

Jobs for the boys.

Foakes came back late last season and is playing for the Lions. Not sure if they have gone home though.

Worksop Palace 18-12-2021 09:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aki Aki Aki (Post 16157808)
Pretty sure he played and performed for the Lions last week, so I assume he's fit and in some kind of form. If he's gone home and JB is next in line it says everything about this tour. Pathetic.

Yep

Feels like we’re at the point the England Rugby team we’re a year or so ago. Time to get rid of the old guard and under performers like Buttler and Bairstow and Burns and even Broad, and just start again with some young hungry players. Not easy I know but this is just utter gash

dannyboy1807 18-12-2021 09:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aki Aki Aki (Post 16157808)
Pretty sure he played and performed for the Lions last week, so I assume he's fit and in some kind of form. If he's gone home and JB is next in line it says everything about this tour. Pathetic.

They played Australia A last week and lost by 112 runs.

England were bowled out for 103 & 347.

Foakes got 73 and Bracey 112 in the 2nd innings

The bowling was pretty average Bess got spanked around the park.

davech 18-12-2021 09:23 AM

I wake up to severe case of déjà vu - again?? Nothing short of pathetic. Both already openers gone for a total of 10 (yes TEN); come on guys, surely one of you can make double figures? a minor rally from two who can actually bat, 150-2, looking decent, then - shock, horror - 4 more down for 19!!

Stokes is probably still trying to get back into the groove, but the others? Jos Buttler belongs nowhere near the test team; can't bat, can't catch. But there is no-one to replace them. Well done, ECB you and your brainless persuits have killed English test cricket. Bish Bash BOSH!!.

72 runs to avoid the follow-on as I type. Or, if we do, a session and a bit for the Aussies to amass more that we are likely to score. I don't even want rain to rescue us. We simply don't deserve it. RIP English Test Cricket :(

Oh, last but not least, well played Aussies. Showing us how it should be done - again.

davech 18-12-2021 09:25 AM

Just finished my rant/lament and another one goes :D

doogleboy 18-12-2021 09:27 AM

8 down

davech 18-12-2021 09:29 AM

That will teach me not to nip off to the Away Fans End!! :D

Aki Aki Aki 18-12-2021 09:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Worksop Palace (Post 16157852)
Yep

Feels like we’re at the point the England Rugby team we’re a year or so ago. Time to get rid of the old guard and under performers like Buttler and Bairstow and Burns and even Broad, and just start again with some young hungry players. Not easy I know but this is just utter gash

I think so. Need to start planning for the future with a better constructed county championship. New captain, new coaching team, pick youngsters and stick with them. Batters with sound techniques, a keeper who can catch, and bowlers with something different about them (Parkinson and Mahmood). But we also seem to have a mental issue when playing the Aussies. They are an OK team, but nothing special. I think most of us on here would agree that, but we always seem to make them look like world beaters.

davech 18-12-2021 09:31 AM

Final collapse due before we reach double-nelson.

davech 18-12-2021 09:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aki Aki Aki (Post 16157882)
I think so. Need to start planning for the future with a better constructed county championship. New captain, new coaching team, pick youngsters and stick with them. Batters with sound techniques, a keeper who can catch, and bowlers with something different about them (Parkinson and Mahmood). But we also seem to have a mental issue when playing the Aussies. They are an OK team, but nothing special. I think most of us on here would agree that, but we always seem to make them look like world beaters.

Agree with all that. A lesser factor is that the Aussies are always fired up. Oh for a tiny part of that in our ranks. One or two players cannot carry the team. Dead wood has to go this winter.

desperado 18-12-2021 09:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by doogleboy (Post 16157878)
8 down

I have got used to England wickets falling like bikes in a cycle rack - one goes they all go

The good news is it stops at 10

The bad news is it then starts all over again

cpfc4evandeva 18-12-2021 09:40 AM

The real aim of the series now has to be avoiding a whitewash. It's difficult to think of any word other than pathetic to describe us right now.

davech 18-12-2021 09:43 AM

Ben doing his Rambo act :lux:

Worksop Palace 18-12-2021 09:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by davech (Post 16157895)
Ben doing his Rambo act :lux:

Hmmm…

Good jinxing mate :D

davech 18-12-2021 09:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Worksop Palace (Post 16157897)
Hmmm…

Good jinxing mate :D

Up to Broady then :D (No breath being held....)

Aki Aki Aki 18-12-2021 09:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cpfc4evandeva (Post 16157892)
The real aim of the series now has to be avoiding a whitewash. It's difficult to think of any word other than pathetic to describe us right now.

Yep, for sure. Sadly I thought a whitewash was on the cards before we agreed to tour (big mistake, should have used the covid excuse). But more because of the inferiority complex we have when playing the Aussies in Tests. They are also so much more professional than us, no need for them to even sledge or cheat this time either :D.

Indeed, it is pathetic.

davech 18-12-2021 09:49 AM

Come on, Jimmy!!!!!

He has already faced twice as many balls as Burns - maybe he should open?

Worksop Palace 18-12-2021 09:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by davech (Post 16157904)
Come on, Jimmy!!!!!

He has already faced twice as many balls as Burns - maybe he should open?

Me and thee could face more balls than that useless chuffer

art malice 18-12-2021 09:53 AM

I delayed looking at the score this morning through dread. Might not bother in future.

Prince Phillip 18-12-2021 09:53 AM

Cricket Australia considering 2025/26 Ashes consisting only of 3 Tests. They feel they can get someone like Bangladesh in for a proper contest after.
Seriously though, an uncompetitive Ashes is just another nail in Test Cricket's coffin. Globally it's only got about 10 years to go. Who's going to pay the subscription money for so many forgone conclusions?


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