Eric Cantona is an French c*nt f*cker.

wanker!

Screaming yelping attention seeking little poodle bastards who WON'T SHUT UP in a bar while their owners do nothing. This is the same post I made about a month or two ago. The bastards are in again with no thought for anyone else wanting a quiet Saturday afternoon pint. The whole lot of them need to be slung in a skip and burnt. I feel sorry for their neighbours having to listen to that little C*NT all day and night. The people are oblivious to the utter noise it's making. They might take notice when I stamp on it's f*cking face.

Nothing worse

Dog owners who just do nowt while their little doggy woggies bark constantly are a disgrace to humanity

People who say 'haitch' instead of 'aitch'

.

When I rise to power those people will be sterilised

You wanna ear ow they say it up ere

People wearing scarves indoors

Thing is it's not barking, it's squealing and yelping while constantly looking up at its owners and every now and then standing up on hind legs. Constantly wanting attention. The attention it deserves is to be kicked into the road under a f*cking bus. Together with it's gypo shit owners.

Laced Oxo cubes?

Laced steel capped DMs more like. Squeak now you little white c*nt.

:D

Mancs who treat every match between us at Selhurst as a completely coincidental C*ntona Appreciation Day

Seeing a band or singer at an arena. Plebs constantly going to the toilet or getting food and drink that makes them go to the toilet . Up and down all night long.

It's like going to a restaurant and being sat next to the toilets.

This is one of those unspoken social class issues at work, along with chopsticks.

Like Ken Barlow and red sauce once a day.

The owning of domestic pets should be banned.

Bloody speed camera vans situated in view of a long downhill stretch of the Norwich Southern bypass. Another two week sweat in the offing to see if i've edged over the 70mph limit overtaking two lorries.

I'm with you brother

Pubs that provide toilets with the latest germ resistant no touch taps, bacteria blitzing hand wash and contact-free hand dryers but still have a door that opens inwards with a rancid shit contaminated handle that leaves your hands dirtier than if you'd just pissed on them rather than wash them.

The Voice. F*ck off and die you c*nts.

Bloody International breaks.

Probably posted countless times but well worth re iterating.

Palace players getting injured playing for Wales.

TV sport channels that make sportsmen or women look down at the floor and then look up at the camera.

Try something new, like a James Bond-esq entrance or a Anton Du Beke camp twirl on the dance floor

Being called "hun". Particularly when I have never met the woman involved. I am not, and never will be your 'hun'"

And the word "boss".
Yes, boss. OK, boss. Cheers, boss

Especially Jones and WillIAm

This.

Play them all in the summer between tournaments with the last 2 or 3 before the tournament itself. Stops anyone getting injured/withdrawing in case of injury, and gives the national side a chance to gel and be as good as it can be, with proper focus on it once the domestic season has finished, probably a month earlier as a result, to let them rest before the qualifiers. Would make a great summer tour for the fans, as well :)

Clocks going forward/back. Make your mind up.

Players choking on the big stage. Just get on with it FFS

Completing 24 hours.of travel/flights to be met with a replacement bus service at the final hurdle. Southern rail bastards

This.

Is there really any need, now? Now that we have invented the street lamp, surely all this faffing can go the way of betamax.

People who park with their front wheels turned in to the road! Straighten them up!!!!

I always thought it was a shame getting shot of Betamax. I had some great 'videos'....

Rain!

I know. Nearly fell down the stairs earlier after taking the clock down off the landing to fecking change the time.

It would have made us all piss ourselves laughing if you had though so maybe we should keep it going until October at least.

:D

:D

Made the families day watching me tottering on the edge like homer simpson. I'm just surprised they didn't start saying 'chug chug chug' or something :)

Its staying on daylight savings time or whatever from now on. If I forget during the winter at least i'll be early for stuff and not late.

Weird I had forgotten about the clocks going forward yesterday, I had a dream last night/this morning whenever it was when someone reminded me of this out of the blue when I was at a hairdresser getting my hair washed (don't go to hairdressers) and when I woke up I knew. That's mental.

Pig f*cker jock farmers in the north of Scotland dictating to the rest of the country what time zone Britain should be in. Not that it bothers me, just saying. So I shouldn't have posted this.

I'm gonna spank your "paki arse" when I next come to Spain you unwashed riverarian rag head, mark my words.

That's once too often.

(Feel free to invite the rest of your crossbreed ratbag mates along for the day, it'll be fun)

Must be nice living in spain where such trivialities as 'time' don't matter. I might try that tomorrow but I don't think the punters, (or the fat controller) will see it the same way :)

The new Barclays ad with Shearer.

Best pies in the North East, man

:D I thought he was going to give the kid his scarf!

:D Can't see him parting company with that ! Judging by the amount of lumps it brought to his throat !

Had the misfortunate to see a bit of Catchphrase, god,host Stephen Mulhern has got a punchable face

Best fans in the world man.:rolleyes:

aside from Liverpool who, of course, have the best fans in the weeeerrrrrrrllld.
:hmph:

Aha but time did matter for me today I had to get a job done and delivered by 1pm and I had totally forgotten about the clocks going forward. Who told me in my dream? Job was done and delivered on time. How odd.

Been on the sauce today sir? Upset about the jocks being the first country a team of in bred waiters scored their first international goal against?

Moooooo!!

I reckon you overhead it somewhere without paying attention and it went into your subconcious mind, reappearing in your dream. Either that or you realised that its the same shite this time every year :)

People who "arcs" you a question.

People that piss in the shower.

Worse it its from their deks

Deal Or No Deal, but more so the divs that go on there with a 'game plan.' It's ******* luck, it's not possible to have a game plan. Also they will start spouting shit about how they had a dream and the number 24 made an appearance so the £250k must be in that box so they can pay for their life changing holiday to Ayia Napa where she can spend a week getting ruined by an estate agent from Bromley who also sells laughing gas.

Another highlight is when they interview their mates in the audience. "Debz has had a really hard year and deserves a week in the sun." Debz, on the verge of tears, will respond with "Aww thanks babe, you mean the world to me"

Don't get me started on the banker, what a smug **** he is

Noel Edmonds gets my goat too. He tries to talk every game up to seem better than the previous one when its just pure bloody luck if you deal at the right time or not :) Everythings bastard intriguing this, and interesting that. No it isn't Noel, the person is lucky picking the right boxes or she isn't.

women that sit next to me on the train, then for the next 30 mins decide to trowel on layers of make on and constantly elbow me at the same time only to look f*cking uglier than when they started.

People (women) who file their nails in restaurants/cafes.

Makes my skin crawl.

Politicians who use the phrase, 'And let me say this', when they're in the middle of making a speech.

Don't forget the 'pilgrim of the day' with the stupid feckin hat.

Compared to the Italian version which I watched last week, the British version is Bafta winning stuff - they throw in extras such as a packet, a lucky dip type thing and other such bollox. They many more boxes

Especially when there's a perfectly good sink there.

Yes I guess it was still in there then because I had known about it but just forgot at the weekend. But a gay hairdresser had to remind me in my dream.

People on trains / public transport or who go to work with a streaming cold and cough spreading their fecking germs everywhere.

When you go to Pret and they give you one napkin with your sandwich.

Going back to work after a boozy lunch

Ignorant people. I mean what planet do they live on, giving paying costumers just one napkin..

Some staff in pret a manger haven't got a damn clue.

Should shit on the counter and give them one napkin to clean it up with.

Shit sandwich c*nt f*ckers.

Have you been at the Pacheran, or do you need some mate?

And then shout "Pret a manger this, and put it in a wholewheat bun you Faux French bun making **** ****ers!"

Yeah that is pretty freaky, although gay hairdressers arent uncommon :)

At the moment... Moving house. How long does it take to draw up a bit of effing paperwork?!

Argh!!

Yes but the fact that my mind made the hairdresser gay, does that mean I'm a generalising and putting people in stereotypical places in my dreams, making me some sort of bigot? I also remember seeing a black teenage girl outside eating KFC waiting for her mum to get her nails done.

Adults (well anyone over the age of 16) that ride those stand on, push along scooters. What utter tools you look like. Not only that they come hurtling towards you on the pavement and expect you to dive out of their way. What cnuts.

And f******* skateboarders. Wankers. Grow up.

Read the napkin......

I can barely point and pay for my sandwich

Hard to say :) My mate had a dream about a horse which just came 3rd.

Your mate has dreams about horses having threesomes ? :eek:

People who still call the Premier League the Premiership. It's not been that since 2007. I say people, I particularly mean Steve Claridge. Clueless idiot.

Yeah. It had good staying power. I'm getting on it next time, that'll slow it down.

People that can't decide on one name then stick with it.

Sky Sports News. Every morning:

Cricket cricket cricket f*cking cricket cricket cricket cricket f*cking cricket cricket cricket cricket f*cking cricket cricket cricket cricket f*cking cricket cricket cricket cricket f*cking cricket cricket cricket cricket f*cking cricket cricket cricket cricket f*cking cricket cricket

Commecial break - c*nting Vanarama advert

Cricket cricket f*cking cricket cricket cricket cricket cricket cricket f*cking cricket cricket cricket cricket f*cking cricket cricket cricket f*cking cricket cricket cricket f*cking cricket cricket cricket f*cking cricket cricket (Harry Kane Harry Kane) cricket f*cking cricket cricket cricket.

Sorry is this August? The 3 month World Cup is OVER now and they're still going on about cricket. Today The Ashes which is in July and August and they even had a feature on NEW ZEALAND's homecoming reception at the airport - WHO GIVES A F*CKING SHIT.

I don't like cricket





I LOVE IT

The name of the channel does suggest that it will have news about all SPORT, not just about football!! :D

International breaks. ******* hell it's boring on here!

Yeah, **** cricket, Sky should get back to their in depth coverage of all aspects of football...

Top Four Manchester United 'Champions' league Van Gaal Chelsea Manchester United Top Four Liverpool Ronaldo Manchester United Manchester United Real Madrid Manchester United Top Four Van Gaal Mourinho Flavour of the week (Kane) Manchester United Rooney Top Four Van Gaal Manchester United Chelsea Old Trafford Chelsea Manchester United Top Four Ronaldo Manchester City Van Gaal 'Champions' league Flavour of the week (Kane) Van Gaal Mourinho Arsenal Manchester United Rooney Best league in the world

Sky Super Sunday (Manchester United vs a team outside of the Top Four so we don't care) self promotion wankfest

'Champions' league Top Four Van Gaal Manchester United Liverpool Chelsea Old Trafford Chelsea Manchester United Top Four Ronaldo Manchester City Van Gaal 'Champions' league Flavour of the week (Kane) Van Gaal Mourinho Arsenal Manchester United Rooney Best league in the world Top Four Manchester United Top Four Van Gaal Mourinho Flavour of the week (Kane) Manchester United Rooney Top Four Arsenal Manchester United Rooney

Sky Super Sunday (Manchester United vs a team outside of the Top Four so we don't care) self promotion wankfest

Liverpool Chelsea Manchester United Top Four Liverpool Ronaldo Manchester United Old Trafford Chelsea Manchester United Top Four 'Champions' league Top Four Van Gaal Manchester United Real Madrid Manchester United Top Four Van Gaal Mourinho Flavour of the week (Kane) Rooney Top Four Van Gaal Manchester United Chelsea Old Trafford Chelsea Best league in the world Top Four Manchester United Top Four Van Gaal Arsenal Manchester United...

The name Premier**** name has always sounded shite to me anyway. I remember the uproar when they introduced the name, yet it stuck for so many

England press conferences .... What's the point ?

Sky and BT faffing around with the fixtures and leaving it to the very last minute to pick the May 2015 matches in to their TV slots.

Apologies if this is the wrong thread! ;-)

Anybody over the age of 25 who wears 'Beats' style headphones.

Anyone, anywhere who buys Beats headphones.

Particularly in the gym.

Get. ****ed.

Roy is fine,Rooney has nothing of interest to say

I don't even know what they are, which proves I am way too old to be wearing them:D

Chewing gum.

What is it about chewing gum that renders people completely unable to:

a) Chew with their mouth closed. See, for example, most football managers. Special mention to Sam Allardyce who shovels it into his gob from a distance using an open palm like a 5 year old eating cake. Also see Lord Ferguson or whatever we're supposed to be calling him now.

b) Put it in a bin. Particularly those who spit it out and try and boot it as far as possible. I once saw a kid attempt that only for his shoe to fly off onto the roof of a shop. Glorious.

Yup.

People who stand in openings (doorways, narrow gaps etc.)

Gobstoppers - pointless.

People who sign off emails with the first letter of their first name

Thanks

S