Didn't realise his injuries were that bad.

I've been stitched up, m'lud :D.

He has to stay fit and stay.

That hit to the head has Broady malfunctioning. Suddenly thinks he can bat now. :moo:

Oh look, feral sandpaper tw@t couldn't resist opening his big ugly gob :D

Wonder if anyone will retire halfway through the series like Graeme Swann did?

Lol

0-5 against this Aussie team will go down as the worst tour in English cricket history.

Woke up to see Malan and Root has got us to 150-2. Went back for a snooze. Got up again and see it’s 220-9. Astonishing, abysmal, dog shit. Yet completely expected.

Silverwood and Root can’t survive this. Can they?

Root is such a poor captain. He just has nothing about him.

Didn't we lose 5-0 last time in Australia seems to be par for the course!

We don't have the mental toughness or quality to compete against the top teams.

Silverwood is cricket's version of Steve Sherwood.

Root needs a captain to take the weight off his shoulders, much like Mike Brearley did for Ian Botham. I have no idea who this captain might be, given the paucity of County Cricket. Oh for a Mike Brearley now.


Edit: Brain-fade. I meant Tim. Cheers, Worksop

:D

But he is the only senior player guaranteed a place in the team. Stokes I guess is an option but not sure he is captain material. Too injury prone, a bit hot headed and I suspect on a downwards curve

Follow-on? (I don't what the weather has in store). But can they bowl us out again.....? You bet they can :(

Graham Thorpe needs some one-on-one batting coaching with his line manager

The old joke used to be England pick 10 players and then a captain. The Aussies pick 11 and make the best one captain.

Do we have a captain out there with a bit of nous, who can score more runs than, say, Burns?

Here they go! They want to grind us into the dirt, don't they?

Not wishing to make light of a serious subject, but can certainly see Buttler being released home. He's really got the thousand yard stare now.

That's what Mike Atherton would do to the ball ....

Where is a Mike Atherton when you need one?

0-5 is regular but this is not a great Aussie team by any stretch.

Biggest indictment for me is how they can have half a bowling attack missing and still look frightening. Anderson and Broad with 1100 wickets under their belt come in under helpful conditions but for Aussie bats it looks like a serene summer day at the beach with wine and caviar on tap. No trauma out there for them.

Australian batters not afraid of Broad and Anderson under the lights. That's another 600-page England planning dossier for the recycling, then.

They know how to bat properly. That's almost like cheating.

Think you and Davech have it in a nut shell. Root great bat ,shit captain . But who do you bring in as skipper.

This is the most prescient comment of the last 20 or so pages. Every now & then we (globally) get a magnificent series but on the whole….

The ECB talk the talk but clearly do not walk the walk. I can’t imagine the BCCI would be too upset if red ball cricket disappeared. Aussie folks - what do CA think?

Well, those 40 runs have probably tipped it. Out of our reach now :D. Ratboy's run-out is a bonus though.

It's all so sad. Red Ball cricket must never die. It IS cricket. How that translates into a change of the cricket heirarchy goodness only knows.

Embarrassing.

An hour with a new ball under the lights and our only chances came through run outs.
Not one of them good enough.

Is the captain allowed to receive information from the balcony?

I think so. They could always bring out some strapping for Buttler's hands with a secret message. A bit of velcro probably wouldn't go amiss. Not sure how good the advice would be though.

Pink ball cricket can do one though

Joe Root is England's best batsman and on the final session the bowler most likely to take a wicket

Too many players not up to Test match quality and others who are one day players who play as if a Test match is a 20 over game

ECB reaping what they have sown over the years by focussing on the money available from Mickey Mouse cricket and ignoring the breeding ground for quality Test match players who can compete at the top level

I went to bed and we were in a fair position at lunch with the two of them going well. Then got up to this shit shower.

As in the ex Watford (iirc) keeper?

I think he’s shit but not that shit

:D

Another tedious series with no competitiveness as so one sided.

It shouldn’t be though cr

It’s not like Aus are streets ahead of us on paper or even player v player. We just don’t have the right mentality in the main. We don’t dig deep. We don’t battle out sessions or even segments of a half hour or hour.

We’re just weak and I’m afraid that comes from the top.

Or just get Mike Brearly on the balcony and an earpiece for Root. Sorted:p

Apologies. Got my Sherwoods mixed up. I meant Tim :o

There is nothing now to look forward to in this series as a cricket fan. All hope extinguished in the quickest possible time. Thanks you bunch of craven, lily livered losers.

England players have been let down by the ECB. Why was the preparation so poor?

I assumed so :D

Think it was down to a little virus that's been knocking about for a bit ......

There is no quick solution to this.

1. Joe Root needs an experienced captain to take weight off his shoulders. Not a part of the current set-up afflicted with the ongoing malaise. If he can open the batting, so much the better. This is the absolute proirity.

2. A decent spinner, so Joe doesn't have to do that as well. Is Jeetan Patel up to the coach role?

Both the above admitedly easier said than done.

Above all, we need a new coach, probably foreign, to bring a new mindset to the group. Starting when they return minus the urn with their tails betweeen their legs. Those who cannot or will not respond should be history.

Amd poor weather

Hard to disagree with this.

We definitely need a new coach. That goes without saying. Biggest problem is the lack of talent in the English game where the focus is purely on smashing the crap out of the ball. Even at academy level the focus on playing shots and not the art of defence. Counties are reasonably chasing the £ involved with short forms of the game.

Is this true PP ? Can't believe the Aussie cricket board would do this given the revenues they bring in from the Barmy Army.

Nah, was just a cheeky attempt at humour. The one consistent feature of English cricket home and abroad is the unwavering support and the healthy ticket and refreshment revenues. Perhaps we all need to get angry and not go anymore?

They’ve got 3 of the best 4 batsmen (at least) between the 2 sides.
Smith and Labuschagne nearly scored as much together as our whole line up.

Australia have a more threatening bowling line up and spinner they can depend on.

But aside from that, selection has been wrong in both games.
The attitude from the players had been poor.
The execution has been weak.
We’ve been dreadfully unlucky in terms of preparation and I do have a lot of degree that you’ve either got players like Butler who look completely burnt out, or others who’ve played no cricket in 3 or 4 months (at least!).

We can talk about Roots captaincy all we want, but he’s being let down by fielders and the batsmen as well.

We set plans, have organised ourselves pretty well then drop regulations.
Most of the batsmen haven’t realised that you earn the right to play shots by seeing off 40-50 balls. No matter who you are.

Some of these players need to have a look at themselves and see how much they really want to be Test players.

It's got to the point that I actively dislike this team, all the talent in the world and no application in that batting line-up and a coaching staff who are nowhere near as clever as they think they are.

Buttler and Pope should be on the next plane home for a shocking attitude and lack of heart to dig in and get a score, Woakes and Broad should be with them for clearly not being suited to this tour and being unfairly put into positions they cannot fulfil. Burns wouldn't be far behind for being so badly out of nick it's horrifying to watch.

And lastly Chris Silverwood shouldn't be given a seat. He and his cabal of idiots who don't think you should play your best bowling attack at 1-0 down in the series should be put in the luggage hold. The same set up who picked 4 seamers in f*cking Chennai.

Completely and utterly dejected by this lot, a truly pathetic showing.

For England summer tests, I always grab tickets for 2-3 days at the Oval & look to go for a day to either Lords &/or Edgbaston.

I've booked 2 days at the Oval for next summer but won't bother with anything else. Considering the quality of the cricket & the slow over rates, there simply isn't enough value for money.

The Aussie commentators cannot believe that England didn’t know the lengths to bowl at Adelaide. It’s no mystery - the Aussies play here each series and have won all their day/night tests. We show up and think we know better or didn’t do the work ahead of time to learn the right lengths to bowl. Makes no sense at all.

I worry for the future of test cricket but went to a Big Bash game down here earlier in the week and the crowd was abysmal. Only reason I went was because my local cricket club organised a social night for the kids and mine wanted to go to hang out with their mates. Everyone I spoke to at the BB game we’re disinterested in the BB concept as were the crowd who were more interested in the ******* Mexican wave.

For me this is the most important series in world sport but generally the best series are in England because at least we’re competitive there. I agree with other posters that on paper there shouldn’t be this big a gap between the sides. You didn’t have much luck in the first test but the lack of application with the bat and then constantly bowling too short in Adelaide have been disappointing. Anderson is the chief culprit there. Across the entire first innings only 4% of balls would have hit the stumps

The average for all seamers in Australia is only 10%.

Pat Cummins career at home: 8% hitting stumps

(Both stats from CricViz accounts on Twitter)

From what I’ve seen of the highlights on I Player Chris Woakes’ bowling has been truly abysmal, a lot of short pitched, medium paced buffet bowling. Unfortunately if he’s left out it weakens the batting
Today Ollie Pope, terrible dismissal, the guy has talent, but I wonder if has the Test Match temperament?
Last chance saloon for Burns at Melbourne, although he got a good one today

Hmmm I’m not having that.

The areas both teams bowled st were pretty much the same.
Australia had a little more luck and held their catches.
We bowled much better than 470-8 score would have suggested ( apart from the last session).

Unfortunately we have a lack of application within our batting lineup.

Butler drops Smith first ball.

Smith out second ball.

Over turned, on umpires call. Hawkeye saying out.

Root off the field after being hit in the knackers doing throw downs, not playing first session. Covid in press box ABC broadcast affected. It's all happening.

Butler now catches Smith for 6.

Australia bowled out for 160, England chase down 400 to level the series at 1-1?

No, I know, but all we have left is occasional snippets of optimism.

Hopefully achieved with a session to spare so Root and the boys have the time to take on COVID and defeat it as well for the good of all of humankind.

400 or 500 to chase is a hard hard total. I would imagine if anything it woks be circa 500 for us to chase

Yes :)

England cricket team retains the ashes and saves humankind :)

Matt Prior giving a good analysis of why Buttler drops catches he should take

Eleanor Oldroyd on 5Live just now : Australia are, effectively, in the box-seat now.

Outstanding analysis….

Yes very good analysis
Butler is lazy in my opinion or maybe just complacent to move or get behind the ball and this is what he needs to do more, we get told as kids to get behind the ball etc

No sh!t Sherlock

Malan can bowl

Hold the front page, Butterfingers took a catch

468 to win in 130 odd overs

We have to face 40 odd overs today………..pray for England

So it seems Root and Malan are not only our best batters

While he’s not near Foakes standards, he’s improved as a keeper over the last couple of years.

I’m not sure if he’s just burnt out.
Not sure of what’s happening behind the scenes but his wife recently had a child and not sure if they’re out with him or not.

Glad he took a couple of blinders today if nothing else.

Lol, not many know, but Jason Roy is a good bowler too

Malan did turn couple of wrong uns which was very impressive

Yes that burn out is something not taken into account, he is a one day /t20 specialist like Dhoni and maybe ECB need or limit the games or break before test cricket

Burns and Hameed have a chance to make history by having a partnership in double figures……

Pathetic again from Hameed. Cue the collapse.

Chance gone....lasted 2 overs

Could be over today.

Almost a sense of inevitability

Half baked prep, feels like a watershed tour, maybe some of the old guard will step down and Root will have to go as skipper

A team in transition

You got to to laugh.

Absolute despair, and I didn’t expect Hameed to fall so cheaply to be honest

Yup agree

Hameed should be put on the next plane home. He doesn't even look like a cricketer.

Pathetic. It’s the only word.

Pathetic

Reminds me of the Mitchell Johnson Ashes from about 8 years back, which saw the end of a few careers such as KP. Sadly with the state of the first class game in England, we don't have a lot to replace those who get jettisoned.

Not sure why Burns is Playing across the line, misses he is gone lbw

Think it just has to be faced that England are shit at test cricket and it’s a format in decline.

How we all laughed prior to that series and took the mick at Mitchell Johnson, boy did he make us eat our own words….

I think this is the last of broad and Anderson we need new bowlers, a keeper and a new opening pair of batsmen

Need to do what NZ done many years ago and play test like a one day match

Burns reaches double figures shock !!

He did in that series for sure, he was brutal. But to bd fair he was fully deserving of the flack he generally got from England fans over the years (including me :D) as he often bowled all over the place.

Oh yes, I gave him some stick too lol

But that one series he played Brilliantly

Burns and Hameed are so far away from being test openers is almost funny

I have high hopes for Hameed, but he's not really taking his chances. Out to a good ball today to be fair, probably still one to stick with going forward.

Isn't the Adelaide Oval one of the most beautiful grounds in world cricket ? Stunning :p

I haven't seen anything in Hameed to believe he is the man for the job

Burns is struggling with spin

Why don’t they do that? I’ve thought that before. Surely that way they could get 300 or so in an innings?

How different is a red ball to a white ball?

Just put Stokes in witha tailender

It does do more CR, plus in the short format there is a seperate white ball from each end (I think). Also, field settings are very pro batters in one day games.

Watching Butler yesterday was painful when you know what he is capable of doing. I agree we need a different approach and mentality, to be honest we have nothing to lose.