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-   -   Things that annoy you (https://www.cpfc.org/forums/showthread.php?t=255975)

Penstone Eagle 10-05-2020 09:35 AM

Lycra clad cyclists cycling two abreast at speed on a shared path which is about 3 metres wide. Absolute *****.

KYLIE MINEAGLE 10-05-2020 09:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Penstone Eagle (Post 15218325)
Lycra clad cyclists cycling two abreast at speed on a shared path which is about 3 metres wide. Absolute *****.

Wrong thread. Should be on the Are you still going out one. Extensive coverage there, and if you are pro or anti golf so much the better.

EdMan 10-05-2020 09:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Penstone Eagle (Post 15218325)
Lycra clad cyclists cycling two abreast at speed on a shared path which is about 3 metres wide. Absolute *****.

I’m curious as to why the lycra is relevant here.....

Maidstoned Eagle 10-05-2020 09:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EdMan (Post 15218352)
I’m curious as to why the lycra is relevant here.....

Yes, because thats the most important part of penistones post.

ExiledStirling 10-05-2020 10:06 AM

Sleet and snow in ******* May in ******* Scotland.

little al 10-05-2020 10:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ExiledStirling (Post 15218381)
Sleet and snow in ******* May in ******* Scotland.

Sunny here.

ExiledStirling 10-05-2020 10:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by little al (Post 15218399)
Sunny here.

I now live in Thurso Al so **** off you southerner.

little al 10-05-2020 10:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ExiledStirling (Post 15218407)
I now live in Thurso Al so **** off you southerner.

Snow in shetland, heading your way.

chateauferret 10-05-2020 10:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ExiledStirling (Post 15218381)
Sleet and snow in ******* May in ******* Scotland.

It's a glorious morning down here. Just going to hang the washing out.

ExiledStirling 10-05-2020 10:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chateauferret (Post 15218427)
It's a glorious morning down here. Just going to hang the washing out.

Another Southerner speaks :rolleyes:

ExiledStirling 10-05-2020 10:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by little al (Post 15218419)
Snow in shetland, heading your way.

More effing snow?!!

Mr Michael Fish where did the snowstorm I have just experienced emanate from ?

pallet 10-05-2020 11:21 AM

Another fine scotish spring day.

davech 10-05-2020 11:26 AM

Ne'er cast a clout 'till May be out.

little al 10-05-2020 12:32 PM

Just had a couple of heavy sleet blizzards, I have sent it south to Chateau.

ExiledStirling 10-05-2020 12:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by little al (Post 15218699)
Just had a couple of heavy sleet blizzards, I have sent it south to Chateau.

You have sunshine amid dry but blustery conditions to look forward to soon

little al 10-05-2020 12:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ExiledStirling (Post 15218706)
You have sunshine amid dry but blustery conditions to look forward to soon

Aye its been sunny but windy all morning.

Maidstoned Eagle 10-05-2020 03:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by davech (Post 15218547)
Ne'er cast a clout 'till May be out.

Cast a what?

little al 10-05-2020 03:57 PM

Clout. Clothing. ie Keep your jacket with you.

Maidstoned Eagle 10-05-2020 04:03 PM

How do you cast clothing?

Old farmers were mental.
https://www.almanac.com/fact/an-old-...oes-never-cast

little al 10-05-2020 04:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Maidstoned Eagle (Post 15219003)
How do you cast clothing?

Old farmers were mental.
https://www.almanac.com/fact/an-old-...oes-never-cast

Cast,throw away, or put in the drawer for the warmer seasons.

pallet 12-05-2020 11:17 AM

People who when you walk past them in the park looked scared ti death like you are the walking virus just waiting to jump on them. If your that scared dont go out.

Smoz 12-05-2020 11:28 AM

“Ripe and ready” avocados. I have had two of these two bastards for four days now and they’re still rock hard. :veryangry

Olympian2 12-05-2020 11:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Smoz (Post 15221371)
“Ripe and ready” avocados. I have had two of these two bastards for four days now and they’re still rock hard. :veryangry

Isn't a neighbouring banana supposed to be your friend here?

BERT'S HEAD 12-05-2020 11:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Olympian2 (Post 15221375)
Isn't a neighbouring banana supposed to be your friend here?

I bought "ripened" bananas yesterday. As hard as an avocado.

Olympian2 12-05-2020 11:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BERT'S HEAD (Post 15221378)
I bought "ripened" bananas yesterday. As hard as an avocado.

I think you & Smoz might be on to something here. Even at 2m, your respective fruits might be able to provide some mutual satisfaction........

Smoz 12-05-2020 11:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Olympian2 (Post 15221375)
Isn't a neighbouring banana supposed to be your friend here?

I forgot about that, will give it a try.

Maidstoned Eagle 12-05-2020 12:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Smoz (Post 15221371)
“Ripe and ready” avocados. I have had two of these two bastards for four days now and they’re still rock hard. :veryangry

Leave them a bit longer then. We pick our avo's direct from the trees just as the skin is darkening....but then, we do have our own trees. :smug and boasting smiley:

Stavros 69 12-05-2020 12:11 PM

Wankers that have their own avocado trees

Oldtown Eagle 12-05-2020 01:31 PM

There is something about the texture of an avocado that is quite sick making. Just can't get passed it.

Panther 12-05-2020 02:11 PM

Same experience with Waitrose ones. By the time they felt soft enough they were black inside.

glenn.f 12-05-2020 02:23 PM

Waiting for the work phone to ring of late. Picked a good time to scale back the SEO on our website because our advertising lot were pulling our pants down, but even so. It's like the arse has dropped out of the business in the space of a few weeks.

adrenalin john 12-05-2020 02:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Oldtown Eagle (Post 15221502)
There is something about the texture of an avocado that is quite sick making. Just can't get passed it.

Au contraire, many excel at avocado throwing and kicking, with accuracy stats up there with the best.

I believe there is a tournament in Mexico every year.

Yoda 12-05-2020 02:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Smoz (Post 15221371)
“Ripe and ready” avocados. I have had two of these two bastards for four days now and they’re still rock hard. :veryangry

I can feedback that the large avocado I bought last week was way better than the small ones. I won’t bother with the tiddlers in future.

It was labelled ‘ripe and ready’, but felt like a grenade initially. I left it to ripen and then forgot about it for 5 days. Cut it open yesterday and it was perfect.

Ignore the labels and use your own judgement.

Stellavista 12-05-2020 02:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pallet (Post 15221347)
People who when you walk past them in the park looked scared ti death like you are the walking virus just waiting to jump on them. If your that scared dont go out.

Maybe it's because their are so many wankers out there?

Panther 12-05-2020 03:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pallet (Post 15221347)
People who when you walk past them in the park looked scared ti death like you are the walking virus just waiting to jump on them. If your that scared dont go out.

I thought that and then the wife asked me if I'd looked in the mirror lately......

little al 12-05-2020 03:46 PM

Avacados are rank.

Maidstoned Eagle 12-05-2020 06:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by adrenalin john (Post 15221564)
Au contraire, many excel at avocado throwing and kicking, with accuracy stats up there with the best.

I believe there is a tournament in Mexico every year.

Adlers kicked an avo once, he said it was very easy.

Maidstoned Eagle 12-05-2020 06:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stavros 69 (Post 15221419)
Wankers that have their own avocado trees

Bless your jealous little heart. :love:

Prince Phillip 12-05-2020 06:14 PM

Any film or TV scene where they act out watching a sport such as football or horse racing on the telly. Always terribly done. "Go on, YES!"

Adlerhorst 12-05-2020 06:20 PM

Questions from the public at the daily press conference.

Q; Have you considered UBI?
A: It’s shit.

west country boy 12-05-2020 06:48 PM

Wankers that refer to avocados as "avos" (or even worse, "avo's").

Stellavista 12-05-2020 06:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by west country boy (Post 15221773)
Wankers that refer to avocados as "avos" (or even worse, "avo's").

Wankers that refer to avocados as food.

Stavros 69 12-05-2020 07:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by west country boy (Post 15221773)
Wankers that refer to avocados as "avos" (or even worse, "avo's").

Sourdough wankers.

NRM the 2nd 12-05-2020 07:21 PM

Modern day bin liners. Weak as piss. Cannot remove a full one from the pedal bin without it ripping.

And dont get me started on the black bin liners which you can now see through and disintegrate by just looking at them

Maidstoned Eagle 12-05-2020 07:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by west country boy (Post 15221773)
Wankers that refer to avocados as "avos" (or even worse, "avo's").

I love avos'

Richard 12-05-2020 07:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stavros 69 (Post 15221794)
Sourdough wankers.

What is sourdough ? I am afraid that I have become a fan in the last 12 months, but can't put my finger on what it is about it that I like.

Adlerhorst 12-05-2020 08:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Richard (Post 15221883)
What is sourdough ? I am afraid that I have become a fan in the last 12 months, but can't put my finger on what it is about it that I like.

Lactic acid

Maidstoned Eagle 12-05-2020 08:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Richard (Post 15221883)
What is sourdough ? I am afraid that I have become a fan in the last 12 months, but can't put my finger on what it is about it that I like.

The taste of irish opression.

Smoz 12-05-2020 08:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by west country boy (Post 15221773)
Wankers that refer to avocados as "avos" (or even worse, "avo's").

"Do you want anything from the supermarket?"
"Oh yes, could you pick up a couple of cados please?

Reps AJ 12-05-2020 09:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Smoz (Post 15221943)
"Do you want anything from the supermarket?"
"Oh yes, could you pick up a couple of cados please?

They look quite nice

https://www.oxfordcheese.co.uk/our-c...mini-cados~93/

A Wooden Fish On Wheels 12-05-2020 09:32 PM

I've never heard of these shortened versions of avocado, but are we allowed to call guacamole, 'gwok'?

Wayne Andrews is God 12-05-2020 09:47 PM

The trend of BBS posters calling people ‘Captain’ then a phrase to make point. Very schoolboy, might aswell say ‘I know you am but what am I”...

Eg
Captain Obvious
Captain Patronising
Captain Captainising etc

Reps AJ 12-05-2020 10:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wayne Andrews is God (Post 15221985)
The trend of BBS posters calling people ‘Captain’ then a phrase to make point. Very schoolboy, might aswell say ‘I know you am but what am I”...

Eg
Captain Obvious
Captain Patronising
Captain Captainising etc

Someone's upset Captain NeverBeenCalledCaptain

Maidstoned Eagle 12-05-2020 10:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by A Wooden Fish On Wheels (Post 15221970)
I've never heard of these shortened versions of avocado, but are we allowed to call guacamole, 'gwok'?

I call it "gwak". Hth.

west country boy 12-05-2020 10:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Smoz (Post 15221943)
"Do you want anything from the supermarket?"
"Oh yes, could you pick up a couple of cados please?

What's wrong with Farrow's marrowfat peas? Do you hate this country so much? :veryangry

west country boy 12-05-2020 10:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wayne Andrews is God (Post 15221985)
The trend of BBS posters calling people ‘Captain’ then a phrase to make point. Very schoolboy, might aswell say ‘I know you am but what am I”...

Eg
Captain Obvious
Captain Patronising
Captain Captainising etc

Thanks, Lieutenant Irrelevant.

big bad John 12-05-2020 10:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by west country boy (Post 15222075)
Thanks, Lieutenant Irrelevant.


I thought it was a very sensible post. Any ideas what we should call him?

Wayne Andrews is God 12-05-2020 10:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Reps AJ (Post 15222000)
Someone's upset Captain NeverBeenCalledCaptain

Hahahah.

Ok Captain Psychotherapist.

Wayne Andrews is God 12-05-2020 10:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by west country boy (Post 15222075)
Thanks, Lieutenant Irrelevant.

At last, some variance.

west country boy 12-05-2020 10:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by big bad John (Post 15222126)
I thought it was a very sensible post. Any ideas what we should call him?

Gunnery Sergeant Relevant?

Stellavista 12-05-2020 11:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by west country boy (Post 15222069)
What's wrong with Farrow's marrowfat peas? Do you hate this country so much? :veryangry

I love 'em with mash and fish fingers.

Worksop Palace 12-05-2020 11:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stellavista (Post 15222141)
I love 'em with mash and fish fingers.

Mash. With Fish Fingers ?

Never heard such silly talk

palacemetros 12-05-2020 11:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Worksop Palace (Post 15222147)
Mash. With Fish Fingers ?

Never heard such silly talk

You are funny people oop north.

It's the southerners bangers n mash innit.

Worksop Palace 12-05-2020 11:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by palacemetros (Post 15222149)
You are funny people oop north.

It's the southerners bangers n mash innit.

:supergrin:

Mash with sausage, yes

Chips with FF, yes

Sausage with chips, yes

Chips with chips, yes

Mash with FF, no

No. No. And no again

west country boy 12-05-2020 11:47 PM

You are an idiot.

Worksop Palace 12-05-2020 11:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by west country boy (Post 15222177)
You are an idiot.

I resemble that remark

Stellavista 12-05-2020 11:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Worksop Palace (Post 15222153)
:supergrin:

Mash with sausage, yes

Chips with FF, yes

Sausage with chips, yes

Chips with chips, yes

Mash with FF, no

No. No. And no again

I love sausage and mash as well. Not so keen on chips with anything. And I am taking no culinary lessons from a part of the country that regards a Bakewell Tart as a f*cking delicacy.

Worksop Palace 12-05-2020 11:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stellavista (Post 15222183)
I love sausage and mash as well. Not so keen on chips with anything. And I am taking no culinary lessons from a part of the country that regards a Bakewell Tart as a f*cking delicacy.

I can take or leave a Bakewell tart.

Matlock birds are dirtier

Wayne Andrews is God 13-05-2020 12:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stellavista (Post 15222183)
I love sausage and mash as well. Not so keen on chips with anything. And I am taking no culinary lessons from a part of the country that regards a Bakewell Tart as a f*cking delicacy.

I was thinking is there anyone in the world who doesn't like chips last week, I thought impossible! Fair enough.

KYLIE MINEAGLE 13-05-2020 12:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Worksop Palace (Post 15222189)
I can take or leave a Bakewell tart.

Matlock birds are dirtier

Is she still on the telly over there?

big bad John 13-05-2020 12:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by west country boy (Post 15222131)
Gunnery Sergeant Relevant?

or even Captain sensible

GorBlimey 13-05-2020 12:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stellavista (Post 15222141)
I love 'em with mash and fish fingers.


Chuck in some baked beans and you have a culinary delight!


What a weird childhood some of us had! :D

Maidstoned Eagle 13-05-2020 12:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stellavista (Post 15222141)
I love 'em with mash and fish fingers.

Lashings of parsley sauce and you have a council estate fisherman's pie.

KYLIE MINEAGLE 13-05-2020 01:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Maidstoned Eagle (Post 15222217)
Lashings of parsley sauce and you have a council estate fisherman's pie.

How common.:D

ExiledStirling 13-05-2020 01:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KYLIE MINEAGLE (Post 15222232)
How common.:D

Only when served with cabbage

PeterH 13-05-2020 01:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by west country boy (Post 15222069)
What's wrong with Farrow's marrowfat peas? Do you hate this country so much? :veryangry

With Brain's Faggots and some oven chips.

PeterH 13-05-2020 01:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wayne Andrews is God (Post 15222130)
At last, some variance.

We used to have a Corporal Jones....

PeterH 13-05-2020 01:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by west country boy (Post 15222177)
You are an idiot.

Major idiot

Maidstoned Eagle 13-05-2020 10:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KYLIE MINEAGLE (Post 15222232)
How common.:D

Yep. :D

Maidstoned Eagle 13-05-2020 10:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KYLIE MINEAGLE (Post 15222232)
How common.:D

Yep. :D

Maidstoned Eagle 13-05-2020 10:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KYLIE MINEAGLE (Post 15222232)
How common.:D

Yep. :D

Maidstoned Eagle 13-05-2020 10:01 AM

Thats taking groundhog day a bit too far. :)

Maidstoned Eagle 13-05-2020 10:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PeterH (Post 15222235)
With Brain's Faggots and some oven chips.

You cant say faggot on the bbs.

Slimbloke'H' 13-05-2020 01:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NRM the 2nd (Post 15221827)
Modern day bin liners. Weak as piss. Cannot remove a full one from the pedal bin without it ripping.

And dont get me started on the black bin liners which you can now see through and disintegrate by just looking at them

You can add dog poo bags to your list. There is little worse than sticking a finger through one when you're collecting... :veryangry

Stellavista 13-05-2020 02:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Maidstoned Eagle (Post 15222396)
You cant say faggot on the bbs.

That scans like a line from a John Cooper Clarke poem.

A Wooden Fish On Wheels 13-05-2020 02:09 PM

People going on about the white stuff that comes out if bacon. Just f***ing eat it and shaddup.

palacemetros 13-05-2020 02:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Slimbloke'H' (Post 15222779)
You can add dog poo bags to your list. There is little worse than sticking a finger through one when you're collecting... :veryangry

Cheers Slim. I am browsing the BBS while tucking into a reheated vegetable lasagne and you post that!. :hmph:

weltklasse 13-05-2020 02:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Slimbloke'H' (Post 15222779)
You can add dog poo bags to your list. There is little worse than sticking a finger through one when you're collecting... :veryangry

wilkos red/brown poo bags are the ones you need

Maidstoned Eagle 13-05-2020 03:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by palacemetros (Post 15222910)
Cheers Slim. I am browsing the BBS while tucking into a reheated vegetable lasagne and you post that!. :hmph:

Probably did you a favour.

palacemetros 13-05-2020 05:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Maidstoned Eagle (Post 15222968)
Probably did you a favour.

It's a poor substitute for FF & mash

Maidstoned Eagle 13-05-2020 05:13 PM

Yes, it is.

little al 13-05-2020 05:55 PM

FF, mash, fried egg and heinz spaghetti. Lush.

davech 13-05-2020 05:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by little al (Post 15223094)
FF, mash, fried egg and heinz spaghetti. Lush.

Needs a splash of Worcester Sauce, though

Stavros 69 13-05-2020 06:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by little al (Post 15223094)
FF, mash, fried egg and heinz spaghetti. Lush.

Why not just eat out of a trough

little al 13-05-2020 06:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stavros 69 (Post 15223098)
Why not just eat out of a trough

I bet you eat avacado

Worksop Palace 13-05-2020 06:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by little al (Post 15223094)
FF, mash, fried egg and heinz spaghetti. Lush.

I’m all for a council tea but that sounds fvcking disgusting

ExiledStirling 13-05-2020 06:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by davech (Post 15223096)
Needs a splash of Worcester Sauce, though

And some salad cream, vinegar and custard to compliment the already disgusting combination on the plate.

Richard 13-05-2020 06:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Adlerhorst (Post 15221885)
Lactic acid

Yikes - what does that do to me ?

(Can predict many of the responses this may generate ...)

Worksop Palace 13-05-2020 06:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ExiledStirling (Post 15223117)
And some salad cream, vinegar and custard to compliment the already disgusting combination on the plate.

I think Al is on a wind up

It’s not feasible for a human to think that combination, actually just about any combination of those foods, are edible

ExiledStirling 13-05-2020 06:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Worksop Palace (Post 15223119)
I think Al is on a wind up

It’s not feasible for a human to think that combination, actually just about any combination of those foods, are edible

He could make a fortune developing The Little Al diet plan with equally disgusting recipes and publish a cook book.

Cook the meal, find it impossible to eat,chuck it in the bin, 10lbs shed in the first week.


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