Tbf, they are probably just thick and lazy.

I hope Darwinism makes them a casualty.

I take it that you drive through South Norwood fairly regularly. Portland Road in particular is like a permanent hazard awareness exam. It generally seems to be multi-generational death wish in my experience though.

Fit bits (should have called them fat bits). It's no good looking all smug because you've done 10,000 steps if you just stuffed a pack of Jaffa cakes and a doughnut.

Tory ex punks.
http://i2.mirror.co.uk/incoming/arti...John-Lydon.jpg

Never mind the salad

Saw this young lad do this in Thornton Heath a while back with the usual swagger and arrogance that accompanies such an action. The only problem was this kid wasn't banking on an irate biker revving up and going straight for him. The kids cool swagger suddenly turned into a Python-seque silly walk as he stumbled out of the way to the safety of the pavement. His face was a picture as it swung from 'too cool for school' to pathetic fear. I think everyone on that road that witnessed it just burst out laughing. Should become a national sport.

God save the quinoa.

Did that many a time in a truck, 17 ton of Post Office lorry baring down on you and you soon get a wiggle on.

:D Sex and Drugs and Nori Rolls

As Nelson Muntz would say HA HA! Glad to hear it.

:D You know I do.

I hope he was shopping for an iron.

A lifetime's supply of free butter will do that to a man, no excuse for the outfit though.

I rest my case

I'm 57, it's pissing down and I'm trying to cross the road to the local. You're warm, dry and listening to your favourite tunes and you can't find the kindness in your heart to just break a bit, slow down whilst sitting in your artificially maintained cocoon of personal bliss whilst you let me across the road?

I admit that, when I'm finally back off home, you may well then need your best ever evasive skills.

I know I do.

Rees mogg pompous fecker

Wankers who insist on vaping the millisecond they leave the tram,and thus expelling a cloud of garbage over everyone near them.
Chavs pushing prams,puffing away on a cigarette.

Twats that push buttons on closed doors on trains. You can push it 50 fecking times fukwit, the light isn't on, it's not going to open, shithead

:lux:

Sausage rolls though surely?

:eek:
Can't clog the Mogg

He is usually right and looks down on the small fry who call him a pomous fecker

The dawn chorus

.

He looks down on all including me [emoji4]

Heavy Wind.....the joys of retirement I spent a while cultivating the hanging baskets this year, so I had a great red and blue flower display. Trouble is the wind and rain over the last few days has pretty much destroyed it.

Pensioners with wind problems.

I shall be reading Sex and Drugs and Sausage Rolls whilst on my holidays, but Im doing the Trilogy in order so it won't be for about a week.

I quite like him. He can't help being born into the family he was and are we going to sneer at every well educated eccentric who speaks pwoper? I've never heard anything he says belittle anyone and he isn't averse to self deprecation.
I'll take 1 Rees-Mogg over 100 ignorant chavs any day. But then I'm forgetting it's trendy to despise anything remotely Tory.

Companys who you order goods through, they let you down blaming their supplier, courier etc etc and now wont answer the phone.

I stopped using Ann Summers, isn't it about time you did?

suit+tube+heat= utter misery

Cheeky young whipper snappers :D It will come to you eventually.....

When you have to change your work password and spend the next four days still typing in your old password.

I just dont want the spice to go out of our relationship.

Half my feed is taken up from people marking themselves safe 'during The Fire in London, United Kingdom' today.

People in my office droning on about Love Island.
The people on Love Island - I haven't watched it but I have to assume they are oxygen stealers.

.

I've always thought he is a good sport. Not one of Ali G's best interviews, but it was pretty funny at the time.

That wont happen, just bought some Harrisa style lube.

He does indeed.

People, mostly women, putting the word 'vibes' after everything.

One clown today wore flip flops to work. She took a picture of her feet and captioned it 'flip flops to work vibes'.

Last week someone got their hair cut. Captioned the photo of it 'short hair vibes'.

Gives me dipshit vibes.

Me. I'm really annoyed with me as I cannot think of a song which involves socks. There is a bit of a nerd at work, fresh out of university, who got a bit tipsy one night and told one of the others that he has a thing about having sex with women when they keep their socks on. He then asks them to keep them as a souvenir and wears them himself.

I am by far the oldest at the place I work and he does seem to have a bit of an attitude with anyone who doesn't have a degree. So I wanted to go around the office singing a song about socks. I came up with Do you think I'm Socksy but I'd love to find a singable song about socks.

Simple Kings of Leon "your socks are on fire"

What kind of numpty that is new to a job tells people stuff like that? Should be enough ammunition there to ridicule him for the duration of his career there. Introduce him to women and tell them of his "interest"

EDIT and regular pairs of rancid socks left on his desk would be effective

When you have two work passwords for different systems that you finally get lined up, then the next day you have to change one of them. Normally on a Friday so by the time it comes to Monday you've forgotten which one is which and after 3 attempts you have to call IT ànd look like an idiot.

Similar to that but those that put the word 'goals' after everything usually in a hashtag on social media alongside a photo they have posted... 'squad goals', 'relationship goals', 'body goals', etc.

It's his first job and I think he thought he was still at University, daft tw*t that he is.

I like the idea of well positioned rancid socks. There is a radiator by his desk, pity it's not winter or one could go down the back of there.

Go to Primark or somewhere cheap get a job lot and wear them on hot days before discarding on desk in drawers etc. Job done

sheep trying to fit in

Doesn't one of the songs in The Full Monty include the line "You can leave your socks on"?

This is a fine idea. Primark here I come. I just hope it doesn't turn him into a slobbering sex fiend with the sight and smell of so much raw Welsh sweaty socks.

It was close with shoes but, apparently, that's not his thing. Socks or nothing :)

How about Aretha Franklin's "Respect" with its Sock It To Me refrain?

You are welcome.

http://www.lyrics.com/lyrics/sock


Or getva couple of sock puppets hide behind a desk or something making humping noises holding the sock puppets up

People who let their kids push the shopping trolley around supermarkets.

sheep goals

Have some rep. I shall listen to those later and sing one or more on Monday.

Great ideas. :p

Better than flip flop game strong I guess.

I must be going doolally, how could I have forgotten that :p

Posters whose comments I enjoy reading, but have massive 6 line double spaced signatures which means I get about .89 posts per page on my iPad :afro:

But that's just women at work.

Dress for the beach when the mercury hits 72° and moan like mad when anyone has the temerity to turn on the air conditioning because it is too cold on their shoulders.

Turn the thermometer up to 75° in winter and make sure one of the sisterhood is on guard in case anyone tries to turn it down.

'Twas ever so. Soshul Meeja has only made it 10-times worse :D

have i mentioned i abhor blue denim?

The beginning of a toilet roll ( never does it just come off without tearing) ..and people that start a sentence with so ..:veryangry

My younger daughter!

And occasionally my older daughter too

Particularly in combination with the younger one!

Lists that have asterisks next to certain items, but then they don't explain what the asterisk means

There's an advert with a goofy blonde girl saying 'they say that Millenial Generation will have more than five jobs in their lifetime, I think that's really exciting'.

She then goes onto tell us she doesn't have a proper job at all but is a vlogger and a podcaster and travel writer, grinning inanely and pulling faces as she merrily boasts about her wonderful little life.

Well bully for you.

Note to John Lewis, HP and Microsoft. This isn't the way to make me buy a laptop.

ATMs that don't provide receipts.
Blokes walking round with no shirts on -grim.

Why do you want a receipt. It actually irritates me on Lloyd's ATMs that I have to view my balance on the screen or get a paper receipt. I'm not interested just give me my f*cking beer vouchers.

:lux:
Yep,I'd take beer vouchers instead!

Exactly what this thread is for. That drives me nuts, too.

You can add 'scenes' to 'vibes' and 'goals'. They can all **** off.

Go to User CP and turn off signatures

Video refs.

EFA

Supermarket checkout staff making small talk.

Genuinely had this exchange last night at Morrisons.

"Good evening, do you need any help with your packing?"
"No thanks, I'm fine"

"Do you need any more bags?"
"No thanks, I think I have enough"

"Are you doing anything exciting tonight?"
"Well clearly not, because it's half past eight on a Saturday night and I'm in Morrisons doing a massive grocery shop. Just get a ******* move on with the frozen food!!!"*

* That's what I wanted to say, but instead managed a rather feeble "Er, no not really"

Radio travel news reporters overplaying their role - "And that's your Travel News and I'm Norma Snockers." I don't need to know you're Norma Snockers, wannabe radio presenter. I just want to hear about the closed off back passage in Cockermouth.

Add to that barbers, hairdressers who feel they have to make small talk. They don't care what you are doing at the weekend, where you are going on holiday or how business is. Just shut up and cut my barnet.

People who eat in meetings.

Free pastries is the only reason I ever turn up to a meeting.

Citizen Khan

Live traffic reports from the helicopter. If I am at home and there is a pile up on the Harbour Bridge ,I could not care less. If I am in a car held up by the pile up I feking know anyway. If I am in my car on way to said by up can do **** all as I don't have a telly in my car.

Many thanks. Didn't realise I could do that.

That Biggin bloke is only half as annoying now.

Nail on the head.

Not the helicopter ones, but I've lost track of the times I stuck going nowhere and listen to the reports and there is no mention of anything where I am... then on another day, I'm zipping along and they say there is something going on right where I'm at - cleared up 30 minutes ago.

It's all akin to the weatherman sticking his read out the window and telling us it's raining :wallbash:

people pretending the flaws don't exist (>1 min to make a decision, the pin being stuck in the balloon that is the crowd's celebration when their team scores as they stand twiddling their thumbs for the decision, taking all the excitement away, splitting hairs over a shoulder being an inch offside like it matters that much, the potential for ad breaks in the wait which the vultures like Sky will inevitably exploit) do my head in.

'Trending' and 'On Trend'

Dislike it absolutely, but especially when heard being used by anyone over the age of 40

They are just politely inquiring whether you want anything for said weekend :)

I gave up going to barbers for that reason and have had my ears lowered instead.

I guess they are just trying to pass the time as it must be an incredibly boring job. Occasionally they probably find someone with a personality who is happy to interact. :D

People who can't draw the line between work and social... and on this subject, I've just been asked to buy a table tennis table for the office. And given the only spare real estate in our place is right outside my office, so I said no. The person who asked me reminded me she was the MD... :D

Looks like we're having a table tennis table at work and I'll WFH a lot more often :D

craig foster

The medical profession and their obsession with extending life to itsee Nth degree.

Just saw my GP for results of a blood test taken because I have slightly high blood pressure. Apparently if I don't cut down on my cheese intake I may die upto 3 years earlier than my life expectancy which is apparently about 88. I bloody love cheese do will not cut down on it and if that means I have 3 years less when I'm at an age where I'm pissing myself and don't know who my daughter is then so be it.

My wife's aunt is a perfect example of the current stupidity of the medical profession. She's in her late 80's crippled with arthritis and has dementia. They've just discovered she has is also riddled with cancer. They are proposing 6 months of chemo and radiation therapy to add another year to her life. She can barely move and can't remember who her kids are why would you want to extend her life at all?

Very interesting post. It's the old "live for today" dilemma.

Gotta agree with all that!

BBC News. The ridiculous and ott reaction to almost every story, and the saturation coverage of events. Newreaders asking questions to witnesses like " Give us a sense of the feeling in the area at the moment". This morning after the Mosque attack, the newsreader asked a member of the public who saw it all " during the attack how did the public alert the police?". I thought, hmmm, mobile phone perhaps?
After the Manchester attacks Louise Munchkin (sic) told us they (the BBC) would be getting an expert in to the studio to help us explain the events to our kids.
How the fk is that news? And it really annoys me.

Too bloody right. 5Live is going the same way.

Totally ridiculous that your GP can tell you will lose 3 yrs of your life from eating cheese. If only diet and it's effects on the body was that simple...
I would have challenged him on his "findings" !!