Excellent!

Eurgh.

US version:

Went to the pharmacy to pick up some medication and was told it was not ready and come back in 30 minutes. Went to the gas station and the pump was not accepting credit cards, so had to go inside and do the whole signed receipt routine. Went to post office and put cards in the mail box only to see the next pick up is not until 5:00pm tomorrow (I was told by Mrs. H to take it to the post office as it would get picked up sooner than me taking it to work and putting it in the mail there - I digress). Went to grocery store to get 1% milk... none left. Went back to pharmacy, and one medication still not ready. Go next door to another grocery store and pick up 1 quart of 1% milk. Only one cashier working and line a mile long, including guy in front with half the store in his cart. Go back to pharmacy, and all my wife's stuff is ready, so I ask about mine... "Oh that wont be ready for a while, do you want to wait?". Errr no. Get home and I get a text from the pharmacy... you meds are ready for pick up!

I'm going back to bed I think.

Supermarket staff wearing reindeer antlers and other Xmas rubbish,bet most of them hate it.
The gormless actresses in the Oral B ads

On the 5live Football Daily podcast's intro they play this old boy calling in and moaning 'they get paid a lot of money' it gets me ******* raging every time

Christmas,

Charity ads in general. Actor with regional accent, cue the violins, lay it on with a trowel and demand 3 quid a week. Does the same agency do all of them?

I ****in love Christmas.

Me as well

Best time of the year by a mile. Loads of work booze ups. Loads of lads booze ups. Time off work. Kids enjoying themselves. More booze ups

‘Kin ace

Hate NY and January with a passion though

Things that annoy you
 

With you on the NY and Jan bit. Find NYE a bit depressing in fact. Another year on, end of festivities, everyone’s miserable as f—k etc. First time in my lifetime I might even do the dry Jan shit too.

Love Xmas though and the build up.

Yeah same here

Although I know I’ll get half way through January and go ‘ oh fvck it let’s have a beer ‘

:rolleyes:

Toilet seats that are too small - so you are actually sitting on the bowl!

Did you put the seat down?

...and New Year. The most pointlessly chaotic and depressing time of the year. I breath a sigh of relief every January 2nd.

I like Christmas and New Year itself, it is the incessant build up I can't stand. Adverts shoved in your face for the last few weeks, the amount of work that for no good reason has to be done by Christmas, the enforced jollity of work, the pointlessness of Secret Santa, the cold and the short days. I would be very happy if it wasn't mentioned until 24th and I was given the three days off between Christmas and New Year.

No he has more respect for it than that.

Yes most people do and rightly so, guess its just different for people for different reason. I love seeing my children having a great time , being excited and of course hopefully being happy with what they get.
What I dont like is the pressure alot of families are under money wise, the pressure and strain my wife seems to endure every year with her family issues and I think deep down the sadness that my own mother passed far too early and never got to enjoy her grandchildren.
Anyway sorry to be a miserable git.

I think Coastal Eagle will say that if you weren't born in Bethlehem then you aren't allowed to like Christmas and you are a glory hunter.

Not being able to fully empty my bladder while sitting down for a shit.

Could be worse, you could be emptying your bowels whilst standing up for a piss.

Eddie Howe.

Was watching the game on Sunday with a Liverpool mate, she said he reminded her of Sammy Lee....I said he looked like he's escaped from The Ipcress File.

:D

Bethlehem is / was very similar to Worksop

It has lots of teenagers impregnated by ghosts?

and boyfriends who are dumb enough to believe the attempt to cover up the infidelity.

:D

Bethlesop.

Just don't go to New York in January then. Easy. :p

Coastal Eagle

Demi Lovato’s piercing squawky nasal voice.

Danny Baker - smug as fvck

Only if you replace Virgin for slapper, Inn for offie and stable for 4* hotel.

The whole concepy of charity by direct debit.

I prefer a campaign, even faceache or spending 30 quid in a charity bookshop or auction.

There’s a 4* hotel in Worksop ?

I think its all about perspective

Certainly is in Worksop mate

The Station?

:D er, no.

There’s a 3* called The Lion but unfortunately it’s owned by Mike Ashley

The size of womens' handbags these days, they are like cabin luggage. And then invariably there is the back up Longchamp bag. And if they are also gym bunnies there is a third bag. Most insist on having them over their shoulders which takes up far too much space on the tube. Put them on the floor at the very least.

Wait..what? That's not a thing?
(Asking for a friend)

This disguised handbag/hip flask is pretty clever though, right?

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DD85t1MWAAA49Fn.jpg

I guess the wife won't be getting a handbag for Christmas then :D

Indeed, they are.

http://cdn.hugeboobs.pics/2017-05-01/430369_05.jpg

Blokes who dry the hair in their arse cheeks with a hair dryer at the gym.

Have seen this several times and find it almost unbelievable.

It’s bad enough when they do their chest (or hairy back)

Sounds like you are paying way too much attention to all the naked men at the gym. :supergrin:

A guy used to do this when I played squash... his balls would do a little dance when he did it... quite a sight.

‘Kin ell. Squash is a hard enough game without that sort of distraction

Far too subtle for this site :afro:

First time I saw it I thought they'd said to him "Sorry, but the only place we could setup a soup kitchen was in the local girl's school U-14 hockey team changing room." :p

@thefox - I rest my case :frown:

Ooops! I am PeterH and I claim my £5

Once again I don't get the reference?

.

Being told this morning they want us to work the full shift tomorrow after telling us Monday it would be in to clean the plant,breakfast and home:jerkit::jerkit:

I won't bother coming in,feck em.

People who actually expect me to work when I'm "working from home" the next couple of weeks :D ;)

Eating noises made by other people.

Toe curling isn’t it.

It’s usually due to shoving too much in their gob, which makes it all the more annoying because it’s so easily improved.

That advert with the bird who apparently shits donuts.

When I drop a £1 coin, why does it always roll to the most inaccessible corner in the room?

In the summer i was walking over a roadbridge that crossed a railway line at a station (cupar). Halfway across i dropped a £2 coin. The fecker then rolled past an old couple, did a right, rolled down all the steps onto the platform then fell onto the track. What a **** of a coin. To make matters worse there were some p way working nearby who refused to get it as annoyingly correctly said they would have to get a line block.

People who don't take the window seat on the train, meaning anyone who gets on later has to wait for them to move their bag, laptop, phone, book etc before they can sit down. All to be repeated when you get off before them. It's not rocket science, if you're staying on till the last station sit in the ******* window seat

Tattooed eyebrows. Who the f*ck thought that might be a good look?

You just made that up elgin, so that you could get some train related technical tomfoolery onto a thread other than the Southern Railway Bastards one.

This forced me to look up what a "p way" was on Google. I now have trainspotter related search history against my google account. This will be highly embarrassing if my family or friends find out. :afro:

Not when you are 6"3 and unable to get your legs under the table in a window seat. Idon't however, put my bag etc on the seat next to me

Bet they got it when you pissed off. :)

elgin subliminally made you post that

seeing as your in Scotland, why didn´t it hit someone on the back of the head when they bent over to pick it up?

Yep. One of my pet peeves. Very popular with the South American women over here.
Freaky

I'm sure they did. One of them was even grinning, although that might have been because of me running down the steps swearing at it. It was like it was on some escape and evade course. I'm sure if they bought crisps with it they wouldn't have been laughing then though. That thing was cursed or possibly suicidal. Wound me up though as I was carrying a big bag of guttering fittings at the time.

Just sit on their lap.

Haha yeah every time you see someone by the track now you'll say to yourself, they are P Way :)

Little do you know they are pikies stealing the cable.

And bought 2 pairs of shite K-Swiss Tiger Tim Henman trainers with the money.

:)

The old people must be kicking themselves to this day.

Imperfect, if you don't mind.

Read this and the recent revival of League of Gentlemen came to mind.

Flannerys boys up here mostly finised up on Tuesday, rest went yesterday.

Thief.

It was only 2 quid.

Here you go, it even has a train on it.

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/LONDON-UN...UAAOSwYlRZLffC

Selfish in the extreme see it so often and then they look annoyed when having to let someone in
Big annoying feature at the moment the sickeningly sanitised Amazon ad. How about it gives some love to its appallingly treated worker slaves.

Haha. He'll get it for 1p but spend 60 quid in LPG driving to Bath to save on the postage :D

Sorry Paul :bash:

Looks good, Mr Getty.

Monica Galetti.

I raise you Gregg Wallace. (Even if that’s a bit obvious.)

You’re right though. What a **** he is.

Viral Marketing although I did LOL https://twitter.com/Poundland

Online supermarkets that charge you extra for delivery at Xmas and also expect you to order twice as much.When you complain they reply with the statement that they have to pay for other overheads at xmas like extra staff!!

I answered with the reply you have more staff to fill up the same number of vans? I await their reply.

Dog!

The new Puppy

can someone explain to me how with free postage this can cost less than its worth?

**** it's too late I just bought one million of them

'Celebrity' specials

Some ad (can't remember what for) with that awful song If You Leave Me Now on it.
Houses with over the top Christmas Lights

Perfectly capable adults who insist on using a pelican crossing when you’re the only car driving anywhere nearby.

Why are they called Pelican crossings?

Pe. Pedestrian
Li. Light
Can. Control area network.

Really ******* boring answer. Sorry. :)

Would pedestrians crossing at random spaces also be an annoyance for you?

He looks like a circumcised helmet with a pair of glasses drawn on it in black biro.

I press the button at every crossing I pass, whether I'm crossing or not. Just to add to the mayhem.

New guy at work... has the attention span of a goldfish, and seems to think I can drop everything to help him, and when I start to help suddenly decides he is hungry or needs to go to the toilet and wanders off.

On top of this he is really ******* nosy.

He is 6' 7" and I've started to call him Sheldon (from the Big Bang Theory) as he has a lot of his traits. How do these people get through the interview process???

I don't think he is going to work out.

Cross anywhere you like, where sensible, as an adult with a brain capable of being safe.

You know when you’re driving along, only car in vicinity, approaching crossing, pedestrian doesn’t even look at road just walks straight to crossing and presses button.