I'm Sammy Jo-Lo. **** off.

It's Lowe. I reckon you fancy her.

I don't know who she is. Should I be right in thinking that is a good thing?

Meant to post this one myself. She says it to the tune of "I'm the king of the castle". I think some of the other travel people do too, which is really bizarre.

No I don't. But you do.

Listen to a travel report on commercial radio and you might be overjoyed by the experience. She sounds bored out of her skull.

Sometimes it's the only answer.

Isn’t that awful...usually a desperate attempt to appear current.

The other phrase that is often used by the same saddos is ‘(insert name) is in the house’.

Calling a TV studio a ‘house’ doesn’t make it hipper, it’s still a TV studio.

People saying Zaha should leave

When did a tv series evolve into fekking seasons?

And why?

My wife... part XXVI

Talking on the phone for about an hour to someone... "yada yada, oh I better go, I've got to make dinner, love you, bye... oh by the way.... yada yada..."

repeat cycle 2 or 3 more times.

Used to really grate my gears when he was at Man U and there was a whisper of us getting him back; the amount of Palace fans that would say on here, ‘will never happen’, ‘move on’, ‘what’s the obsession with our past players?’.

Thank God Parish didn’t have the same mindset.

You’ve lived with those dogs too long.

It worked for Noel Edmonds.

Me too.

What do you teach ME? Truck driving for beginners.

‘Give it up for Mr Blobby who is in da HOUSE!’.

That’s a no from me.

Lack of sleep.

Hate it. I get to sleep ok but then wake at about 3:30am and can't get back to sleep. Of course, I've now gone to work and am knackered. Been like this for years. The only thing that helps are sleeping pills but I have no trouble getting to sleep, it's staying asleep that's the problem. Probably thinking about work all of the time is part of it.

My weekend was self-induced partially but I averaged 3-4hours over the weekend. I then had a red-eye flight back to London on which I didn't sleep. Since then, even when the baby has slept OK, the most I've managed is about 2hrs at a time.

I've decided to work from home on Monday to try and get back into a sleep pattern, if nothing else!

At least she still speaks to people instead of:

Receive text
Reply, put phone down
Receive text, pick up phone
Reply, put phone down.

Repeat 50 times.

"We're not going to my mum's for dinner"

My wife never bloody answers her phone, so on the rare occasion she replies to a text I try to respond immediately. The result? No response.

"I replied to your reply immediately, why didn't you respond?"
"I put my phone down and forget about it"
"In 10 f*&£)$! seconds?!"

Good luck mate!

My wife is terrible at answering the phone " oh I've got it on silent" being the usual excuse....she then gets the raving hump if one of her friends doesn't answer a text message within minutes

Yes

They are my minions...

Edited

Men?

On the wife issue, my wife has her phone next to her bed, first thing in the morning as soon as she wakes up straight on facebook, then during the day she will be texting, whatts apping of on facebook, when I try to talk to her I get ignored. I then sit down and start watching something on tele and she comes and starts talking to me, I am listening but still watching, thats it she goes off on one.

That sounds like living with a teenager.

I can understand checking FB after a significant event, otherwise I don’t see the need for constantly revisiting.

For Facebook - that would be anything to do with the Kardashians upwards.

I usually go out for lunch on a Friday, so don't have a meal at home in the evening. As such the cupboards are nearly bare on Friday as everything's more or less gone by Thursday.

Today I've not been out for lunch, so will probably want something at home later.

Yesterday, I said to Mrs Stockport "don't worry about getting me anything for tomorrow, I'll sort myself out"...she agreed.

This morning Mrs Stockport said to me "I'll not get you anything, you can sort yourself out tonight"...I agreed.

She's just messaged me to say she's got me a pizza. WTF :wallbash:

She's having an affair.

I never understand why my wife texts everything. She has conversations with people that by text take ages but by phone would take seconds.

She gets the hump when she texts me when she knows I'm driving home and doesn't get a reply.

:confused:

This is the same with email at work. Pick up the bloody phone you useless twat! That's a customer you should be developing a relationship with!!

I know it's not always appropriate to call a customer, but surely if the subject allows you to explain something or provide a better customer service and answer their questions/doubts immediately it's better than having a protracted conversation by email.
(Used to) drive me bonkers.

Mine texts me to say 'can you pick up x,y,z on your way home'...when I get in empty handed she goes mad!!!

Sh1t me this is annoying. I find it's mainly women who do this.

Just googled her and yep I would most definitely

I message mine to ask if she needs anything, obviously she doesnt see it because she´s got the phone on silent......when i get home she moans I didnñt pick stuff up.

That's why I don't watch any of them even when people rant on about how good they are because you know they will milk the franchise for years if they could get away with it, Think that's why I heard lost ended because it became nigh on unbelievable the further it went on.

I took some chicken and veg soup in a food flask to work yesterday, but didn't get time to eat it and accidently left it in the van over night. It must have been freezing last night as when I got in the van this morning the damn thing had literally exploded all over the seat, glove compartment to the ceiling. It ******* reeeeeeeks.

Had a bad bout of insomnia just before christmas which thankfully has gone away now but the problem now is my sleep feels like it's only lasted an hour and don't really feel refreshed.

And also gilette razors the newish ones where the guys on the advert don't have to pull faces anymore because the head pivots..........bollocks don't you I still look like I'm trying out for the 2018 gurning championships with it.

Those that choose to pronounce the letter 'aitch' as 'haitch'.

And that's all I have to say about that.

I think Mr Blobby was the big start of the dumbing down of British TV. I suppose it was the last of the Saturday early evening family entertainment shows. Before talent, dancing, and show centred around the lottery.

But there is a balance between being a family show and being stupidly infantile. Even if, as a parent, you wanted to use some TV to entertain and perhaps educate your child, you would chose Sesame Street or Barney sing alongs. What use was an incoherent pink splodge thing constantly falling over. We grew up with Noel, but he destroyed his copybook with that creation - what was he thinking.

Most TV shows that have followed have been utter trite. est trick ois to get drunk following Palace, eat a takeaway and crash out until MOTD.

Mmm. I would call that a result. If you are on the beers later, out or at home, you will be glad of that pizza.

Come on CT, you have been around offices enough. Some people are too self-important to have phone calls. Everything is done by email. Same said people then constantly bore you with tales of having 200 emails to sift through. Net effecct is lack of productivity.

Chilean system is best - people ask you to send emails, their preferred contact is through emails. Yet they never answer, or randomly answer two weeks later after you have resolved the issue by other means.

Worst is the direct telephone contact here starting with a heart sinking 600 number.

I give it a week or multiple tries and then send it to reclamos.cl. Last to occasions I have had my problems solved with added compensation inside three days.

Again, someone biting their nose off to spite their face. The trick is to wait until after a show has finished, check the reviews on the BBS and other places, if people are raving about the show from first season to last, then you binge watch. Useful if you are on a home holiday, poorly, or it is cold mid winter.

Overall, how much did you save with that packed lunch - factor in the time spent cleaning up and the cost of a new food flask.

Why do you always assume it's about money?

It's about not having the luxury of time to stop and take lunch. The soup, as it happens, was made by braising the carcass of the chicken slowly and adding my favourite vegetables - very tasty indeed, just not over the inside of my van.

It's worrying about waking up at 3.30am

He didn't say he was teaching, I assumed 5 years was his level of study :D

Fack right off. This is worse than anything you've said about packed lunches.

I loved Mr Blobby when I was growing up! It's ok to have some silly stuff with the educational as well

:p

I am pleased you have come through the other end alright.

Yet, you had the luxury of time to braise a carcass of chicken slowly etc.. You are not making any sense.

The soup may indeed have been lovely, but you didn't get to taste it, at least for a second time. And it was so delicious, you actually forgot about it.

I love how all the packed lunch plebs have suddenly turned into masterchef finalists. I think you are all in the wrong kind of work. If you cooked your gourmet foods, and other people paid for them, you could eat for free and save even more pennies.

I’ve got to give it to you Pete, you’re a pork pie short of a picnic (or packed lunch)

He just likes to act superior on the Internet because he feels inferior when he's not on it. I doubt he realises how hard a busy, self employed person has to work. More likely though, he chooses his reply, ignoring all the facts (and any logic) attempting to prove a point nobody has any interest in.

Its a good job he's not in Japan where packed lunches are an art form with Bento boxes he would explode ;-)

Doesn't this neatly summarise about 98% of debate on the internet?

People posting photos of their babies and food in Whatsapp groups. Isn't it enough that they are plastered all over FB and Instagram.

Or I am pissing about, and reeling in another fish every time.

You shouldn't be biting. You can't be that busy if you have time to prepare a gourmet soup rather thn grabbing a sandwich on the go. But I suppose you were if you didn't have to to eat it.

Lifestyle choice of course and a bit of a hobby - like building church models out of matchsticks, but ultimately a false economy for time and money.

I like being superior, it sometimes gives me a semi.

On a related bent.

People in life, and increasingly on the BBS unfortunately, taking themselves and their lives far too seriously.

There are more than 7 billion people on the planet, you are ulitimately important to perhaps 50 of them. At work your self-importance will result in you being seen as a prick, socially you will be tolerated at best.

These types can be seen mentioned all over this thread. From those that talk from start to finish on their cellphones on a train - especially giving a running commentary on when they will get into the office, to those last on and first off a plane, to the bloke who keeps his best wine to himself when he has guests over, and many on the family Christmas rows thread - most notably those in laws that always arrive late and always insist on doing something contrary to whatever has been generally agreed.

While most on the BBS will be shivering over their despondant post match pints, I will be enjoying a few beers and wines and full barbie with CT and others in 30 degree heat.

I can mull over how inferior I feel while supping.

You may well be enjoying a BBQ in 30 degree heat after watching the game on some dodgy feed, but your life choices meant you weren’t actually able to be there amongst the palace fans.

Each to there own.

You cook it when you're not at work... As far as the biting excuse is concerned, it's yet another example of your weird superiority desperation - "look how clever I am". It's as dull as a corned beef sandwich at teatime.

I like corned beef. How can you diss that?

You bit again, and then responded to a post that bores you.

You are failing to make any sense in your typings.

Do people with superiority complexes tell others how incredibly busy they are? You know, I suspect that is a trait.

Most just get on with life and work without the need to tell others how important their busy life is.

It explains why I didn't eat it silly. Did you not bite at the superiority part? I think you did. Anyway, I'm done with this, it's boring for anyone that's not involved.

Injuries.

Naisse, wankstain.
The Palace board and their lamentable transfer window.
I saw in the paper its Holly Willoughby's birthday and I was reminded what an annoying smug talent free zone she is.
Croydon North End, surely twinned with Helmand province.
Fat arsed chavvy wankers (some of them walking through North End, funnily enough!), stuffing fast foods in their mouth. A ticking time bomb for the NHS methinks.

The Scottish commentator on the stream today.

Andy Walker - I didn't have a problem with him actually. I thought the bit about wanting a bit of a controversy to liven things up was a bit off though.

I don't have a problem with him. Don't even know who he is. But found myself getting wound up by his voice during the game. Probably just because of the way it was going.:hmph:

I like to get to work and back as quickly as possible, spending as little time, money and effort on travel and lunch as I can.

That leaves me as much time to spend away from work as possible. Presumably this is how Nostrils has enough time to cook whatever fancy food he wants. That you are so incensed that he doesn't use a lunch break to purchase an over priced lunch item from a local business (there is not such a place within a ten minute car ride from where I work) is a mystery, but if indeed you don't actually care at all, and glean such pleasure from mocking him then that is even more of a mystery.

I expect to now be mocked as another 'victim' of this cruel wind up, rather than another brick in the wall being built to disguise the real core of a really rather embarassing thread.

I had to Google him myself! Looks like a bit of a journeyman for a multitude of clubs.

The cold. Absolutely c~nted off with it. It can stick a kitchen knife up it's minge and f~ck off while it's at it.

I didn't understand most of that. I think you have tied yourself up in knots there. Concluding by thinking the 'Things That Annoy You' thread is embarassing?

This seems as good as anywhere to post this, although it might deserve its own thread.

A person who worked at the same place as I did, retired 2 weeks after me back in January. One week later he was in a horrific auto accident and is currently in ICU in a semi coma with brain damage and many broken bones. The day of the accident he had to be resuscitated 5 times in the ER.

I'm seeing post after posts on Facebook of people praying for him, saying stuff like God is great, God is sending you healing powers etc. etc.. There is even one that made me smile (I know it shouldn't) where they say, "Praying for your friend, who is he?"

What I found out, and the thread starter and the biggest God Squad enabler knows this, is the guy drank himself stupid to the point of breaking all police records for blood/alcohol levels they have ever recorded, got in his truck and proceeded to play bumper cars with it, not wearing a seat belt. Truck flipped and he was ejected as it rolled.

Is it me, or should I not be confused as to why is it God who is being "prayed' to, to fix him... where was God when he got in that truck? This is the same guy who had a massive heart attack last year, and survived to come back to work, but continued to smoke.

Sounds to me like the guy has a death wish, but apparently God loves him too much to grant his wish.

If you are going to pray for someone, pray for the children in the cancer wards, for the young mothers with terminal illnesses. People who have done no wrong in their lives, and have the rest of their lives ahead of them... not some 62 year old alcoholic with a death wish.

Happy Sunday.

Indeed HH.

Winter Olympics TV coverage (Well NBC's anyway).

People driving too slowly.

I am pretty responsible crossing the road, and I don't want to give ignorant twats a chance to toot their horns, thus I am patient enough to wait for cars to pass rather than hurrying across roads.

Usually I see a car at a bit of a distance and think I will let that pass and cross after it. The twat then slows down for no reason, sometimes even as much so a car much further down the road even catches up.

On a similar bent, they usually slow down as they clearly don't know their directions. Maybe it is a Chilean thing, but I saw Dave's thread and I think some drivers are just incompetent or think the road laws don't apply to them.

The incompetents here are invariably women drivers, the irresponsible always men.

You've just turned into a dead end street twat. I politely waited with my dog for you to do that, and now I am rushing across as you reverse out of self created mess without looking at the pedestrians.

Bad driving deserves it own thread.

:D

and, yes, indeed.

Domino's Pizza - "The official food of everything".

No Domino's - the "official food of can't be bothered to cook tonight and would rather sit on my arse and call it in".

(AAAARRRGH !!)

(And Domino's - stop texting me with your offers after I used you once, 3 years ago).

The debilitating shit arse of a hacking cough / chest infection/ pneumatic plague that I'm currently saddled with and just simply will not **** off for love nor money.

Microscopic twatflap.

****s who drive ****ishly into your parked car then **** off without a ****ing word. ****s

Domino's the home of expensive, crap pizza

Anyone with the above who still comes in to work and annoys me with their hacking.

Getting in from work to be confronted by the plasters fecking mess.There is plaster/water all over the walls,leather sofa's/carpet/door/units.This wanker is gonna get a fecking missile tomorrow:veryangry:veryangry:veryangry

That is poor.

I've had that since December 23rd. Bastard thing.

Now herein lies a conundrum: I also have this ailment currently and would happily spend time at home but 1. Won't get paid and 2. Will get bothered by my boss anyway so what do I do?

Do you mean the plasterer?

Suck it up

Take up smoking again. We have that annoying little tickle, but don't get laid low by the kinds of ailments that destroy the healthy brigade.

No sick days in over 25 years for me.

the fact that Oreos now have a foothold in the UK :-(

Talking of Oreos do they have Girl Scout Cookies yet in The UK?

Another Americanism I'm sure if you don't have, you will in the future.

1. Stay at home and take the hit, its not fair to make your collegues sick.
2. Turn the phone off, and tell your bosss to go ****, or tell him/her that you will take phone calls emails only if you get paid.

You are correct.

I thought the first line was the start of a rap battle, or a follow up to “Just Say No” by the Grange Hill lot to commemorate 40 years :p :afro: