me bad :D I was juggling my 10 month old daughter when I posted that last night having also done a 14 hour day. The tiredness is real.

Juggling toddlers is never a good idea.

Surprised to see this in Amsterdam a few weeks back.... no scientific study performed but a high percentage of cyclists moving at speed and texting.. the majority of these I observed to be young women. It was also quite a challenge to navigate this hazzard whilst bare mashed.

That my pub bragging rights that my name on the fin went at a world speed record has been dashed.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bristol-46480342

Sorry to hear that Mr Castrol.

Patois. It is a recent thing. I watched a drum and bass documentary the other day which featured lots of young black men from the early 90s such as LTJ Bukem and Dillinja among others, all of them had a London accent, if that was now they would all speak with Patois. African and Jamaican influence has been around since the 60s so it is something more recent.

Mrs Brown's Boys. Now they are repeating the shite.

Dreadful dreadful dreadful ‘comedy’

The term ‘vom.’

#accidentalpartridge

Agreed, the ******* that like this shite need shooting.

This

Facebook :wallbash:

When after you have the final hairwash at the hairdressers you look down and realise again that you should have worn jeans instead of shorts that have bunched your gentlemans vegetables up and look like you've got a stiffy. Erm yes er where do I look now ?

Sorry, wait, what....

Not only do you have your hair washed at the hairdressers (aka barbers) you have a ‘final hair wash’, indicating that you actually have more than one.

Chuff me

We are not all northern monkeys. :rolleyes:

There are basically 3 options out here:

1. A barbers in a back street crap hole that you will get lice from and an army conscription haircut done by a Thai guy which are mostly permantly pissed.

2. A back street hairdressers that can only do one old Chinese womans hairstyle that looks like a poodle.

Or 3. The only choice. A salon of which 95% of them will insist on giving you some ******* awful fashion haircut most likely by a ladyboy or an extremely camp gay guy that has pretend PMT.
When you find one of the other 5% you stick with it especially when 1: you don't come out looking like a deseased chicken and 2. there is the new bird doing the hairwashing that's really trying for a tip.

You are fooling yourself - the only reason you go is because she puts her tits in your ear when giving you a short, back and sides.

See last sentence.

And? :)

Oh
4. Hairdressers with 20 female 'hairdressers' and just one or 2 seats.

5. Buy some clippers and do it yourself.

Some of us have style.:cool:

You're in Australia, you think style is having sleeves on a shirt.

I used to.

Isn't this standard expat wear the world over ?

I'm an immigrant, not an ex-pat.

The current vogue of crowds whooping and hollering at introductions or start/finishes of programmes. The snooker being the latest. Even Fvcking countdown ffs

Grow up you silly wankers

Coloured-up versions of black-and-white films.

How do pitta breads get so hot after being in the toaster for just a couple of mins FFS

Air inside them innit, takes bugger all to heat it up.

Still not as lethal as Pop Tarts were. 3rd degree burns :moo:

Coming home for the weekend and the HD on my TV hasn't worked until now, 2 hours before I head for the airport.

People who clap when the plane lands.

^Latvians

I still don't see the point in Calculus. I'm trying to go through Maclaurins series and the only thing to come out of it for me is that the guy was an utter prick.

People who have try to have long conversations with, or are just plain rude to, staff at the till when there is a long queue behind them on one of the last weekends before Christmas.

Nothing as annoying or all of us than going half a season without a fecking striker.

Steve Davis looks like an old and Ginger Chris Sutton.

Both are dour *****. This annoys me.

I like Steve Davis, seems to have a wry sense of humour, unlike Sutton who is a miserable bastard.

The fact that the cop that lives across the street from me has fully tinted window on both the front side window and windscreen of their truck, also, although the truck is more than a year old, they still have not put the license plates on the truck.

Both are traffic offenses if you are the riffraff...

citizen's arrest?

An anonymous phone call to the Sheriff's station maybe?

Spaniards.

Snitches get stitches

Half a season ? Have you missed the previous 4 years ?

Sounds tough.

What does?

Too busy making 3 course dinners for his lunch, instead of a sarnie and a muesli bar.

Museli bars, what happened to you ?

The fat rent boy business was poor

Are you doing well now ?

‘Worldy’

As just used on the Palace app describe Wickham’s goal for the U23s ��

‘Top Bins’ aswell.

Yes, thanks to the muelsi bars I have dropped a few kilos

'Iconic'

On the subject of the club’s social media offerings; their insistence of pushing the hashtag #ManLikeSerbia every time they post a photo of Luka.

What the **** does it actually mean?

I was including Benteke despite his lack of goals. At least a striker was selected in the 11.

The house a couple of streets away who’ve got Christmas Lights on their caravan. Presumably Charlton fans.

'Organic'

Of ?

Weight...obviously.

Wrappers.

I thought he meant baby batter.

:supergrin:

Nah, I swallow that.

If you’re the former then you’re also the latter.

I'm an immigrant too. Difficult for me to be an ex-Pat

If anyone were called Pat became an ex-Pat I would be worried about their health first and foremost rather than their migratory status

Just like Les , you have no need to change your name.

I thought you went vegan.

Are you confusing me with someone else?

I’ll stick to the Oxford Dictionary definitions over that of ‘Girls v Globe’ thanks.

Hmmm she seems to think only white people go from their home european country to live in a foreign one.

Racist

The point I am making is that ex-pats (usually honkies, sat in all honkey enclaves) will not see themselves as immigrants...because that means they are the same as all the immigrants they slag off back in their home country.

I'm an immigrant.

And an ex-pat.

And an emigrant.

:)

And bald :)

Wotcha stubbles

Nope. Immigrant

Wotcha

My 10 cents worth... I hate the term "Ex-Pat"... it sounds so snobbish and cringe-worthy (and like something from the days of the British Empire) .

At the airport I go through Immigration, I had to deal with an Immigration lawyer to get here and to get my Immigration papers.

I'm an Immigrant.

The fact that, after getting a guard and screen protector, I’ve not dropped my phone once -after previously smashing it twice.

It obviously works.

Today ive dropped:

A crate of beer in lidls car park (saved 7 bottles out of 12)
A piece of french bread in the kitchen (saved by 5 second rule)
A knife
A tomato
Fortunately no phones though.

When you get cash out of the ATM and the notes don't all face the same way, brand new notes. How the hell does this happen, who loads these things?

I’ve only dropped my guts.


(Bombay mix is lethal)

The Michael Bublé cover of Christmas (Baby Please Come Home).

Where to start with this heap of absolute shit? Well let's remind ourselves that the song first saw the light of day on Phil Spector's seminal A Christmas Gift For You album. Originally he wanted his other half Ronnie to sing the lead vocal, but this got canned after he decided she couldn't convey sufficient emotion. Great decision, Darlene Love did it instead and what a vocal tour device force she delivered, it is a bona fide classic.

By contrast the Michael Bublé version is a total abomination. If the great Ronnie Spector can't do the song justice then what the hell chance does he have? He practically phones in the vocal, simply mimicking Darlene's performance note for note, inflection for inflection with his bland voice. May as well be singing his shopping list.

My blood boils whenever I hear this garbage.

I also hate the Jona Lewie one with that cheapo parping every few seconds, and the George Michael funereal dirge he released a few years before his death.

Mash report on bbc

Oh my that’s some dreadful television

Royal Variety performances.

‘Can you feel it, can you feel it’ Amazon Xmas ads relentlessly playing on every channel and even on the bloody radio

Read a lot their satirical articles, but don't watch the show. Have seen some clips and it's pretty unfunny, but Rachel Parris is good.

Cases make phones much easier to grip.

Signature strips on debit/credit cards. It's f*cking pointless now anyway with chip and pin but at least make the field wide enough to write in and out of something that actually lets you f*cking write. Wankers.

Ummm :hmph:

Heed Maidstoned's warning

Is it the same in the UK now as over here where they don't even out a name on it ?
I found a credit or debit card on the floor of tesco the other week and handed it in to customer services, but it obviously had no name on it.

You are Wayne Hennessey and I claim.....

Filfy grass.

Elgins credit card that foxy found in tescos.

:D

It was a particularly clumsy day yesterday.

Channel 7 news (a laughable title) putting sub titles on an Indian guy whose English is better than most of the mono sylabic twats they normally interview.