Cyclist leaves the cycle lane, swerves out in front of my car, my passenger warns me, I brake sharply. He notices my sharp breaking and the following conversation happens. (I'm certainly not proud of my part.)

Suicidal cyclist: ya ****in idiot

Awesome car driver: You nearly hit me!

SC: it's ****in obvious I'm turning right, why else would I be slowing down?

ACD: slowing down isn't the signal that you're planning to turn right ya stupid prick.

SC: pull over and I'll smack ya head in

ACD: i then point to next turning and shout "over there"

I pull over at agreed point, he carries on cycling and shouts

"Grow up... you stupid chav"

I hate cyclists, pretentious wankers who think they rule the roads, pavements and anything else they want to.
Anyone over 16 who wants to ride a bike should be treated the same as motorcycle riders. Wear protective clothing, tax and insure their vehicle and have identification plates fitted. They can have all the cycle lanes in the world then, as long as they, and not the motorist pays!

Or you could argue there are nobs on bikes and nobs in cars and we could all do with being a little more considerate to one another. As someone who makes half my journey by car and half by bike I find that as a cyclist you feel in an incredibly defensive mindset - when car after car buzz past an inch away from your right elbow your mood is pretty grumpy especially given a bike will lose to a car in a collision. Likewise in a car there is nothing worse than self absorbed cyclists cycling in pairs or aggressive lycra louts. We should all just try and remember we are all trying to get home as quick as we can and safely.

The BBS not having a thread dedicated to bitching about other road users. Oh! Hold on...

I don't drive. I don't ride a bike.

So

https://media0.giphy.com/media/3Q5AaItJezQjK/200.gif#67

to y'all.

GET YOUR ******* NME OUT OF MY FACE

and it might help if you didn't stand 2 feet from the entrance to the station right in the middle.

People who don't offer a tea or coffee to professional trade who work in their house.

Even more annoying is when they make themselves one and don't bother asking.

This really annoys me too. I considered putting a silent fiver on a job when this happened, but felt it was a bit naughty although justified imo.

Those who work in an office and at lunchtime go and get a McDonalds, BK or KFC and then bring it back to their desk to eat it.

I hate that too. Once saw a programme with Richard Hammond in and some bio scientist. RH said that he always ate his lunch at his desk. Scientist sampled said desk for bacteria. Result was that Hammond s desk was more dangerous to eat off than a toilet seat after Glastonbury. Lovely.

That's not the little bird outside Liverpool Street is it? By the Ronnies. I've had to hold myself back from snatching the NME and ripping it up into tiny pieces and ranting like a crazed loon whilst dribbling from my foaming mouth. It's been a close call.

Time for some light-hearted, passive/aggressive comments from the rest of the office?

We had a colleague who drank herbal teas and the blackcurrant one smelt like tom cat wee!

Funny thing, if you tried it yourself, it smelled OK. But across the room it smelled awful. In the end she stopped that particular variety, as we said it was embarrassing if someone came to our office for a meeting.

I was on a job in South Kensington and they did just that. I said we'll be back in an hour we're off down the caff. Two hours later the same. They finally twigged and started offering tea. :)

Just ask them if the kettle is broken. Works every time.

What do you feel about people who provide builders with their own kettle etc and say make one when you wish?

We did that when we had a long job and, to be honest, it's hard to know when to offer day after day.

We provided kettle, mugs, milk, coffee, tea, sugar and refreshed the biscuit supply. They seemed happy with this and it meant they could stop when it was convenient for them, rather than waiting for us to be free.

no one offers me a drink or biscuit at work!

can't they/you take your flask with you and stop freeloading?

How do I feel about it ? I would give you a slight discount and a lovely hug at the end of my job:)

Maybe they just don't like you:).

If you invite somebody into your house, is it not simply common courtesy to offer them a drink?

Freeloading :D

I always offer a tea or coffee if someone comes to my house that's probably going to be staying for an hour or so. Basic manners !

That's just ignorant. I even let the gas meter reader get a hand job off my missus because I was in the middle of throwing a lump up her when he rang the doorbell.

This is available at porrnhub.com under the title of 'Cuckold Gas Wanker'.

:p

I actually always offer tea/coffee/juice/biscuits to workmen, although had I known the poor level of workmanship from some, that only becomes apparent months later, I would've offered them cat biscuits and arsenic.

Not specifically (I was thinking about Southwark station) but it happens everywhere. Do they get paid by the amount of crappy free magazines that they get rid of?

:D

Books with 'A Novel' written on the front cover.

Whilst on the subject of workmen thanks a bunch to the plumber that poured one shot down my sink today, so haphazardly it has now discoloured it. Anyone who has any ideas of how to clean this off let me know cos I can't

Halloween. What is the point?

The yanks got hold of it and turned it into a big deal and it kind of got copied over here

Waste of time, and vast sums of money. Sadly now a lot more than just 'trick or treat'.:veryangry

Excellent!

I'll try that approach again when we have another lengthy job next year. I did wonder if they considered us poor hosts for not making it for them, but that wasn't our intention.

Think I'll make extra effort with the biscuit choice though...gotta keep good builders happy!

Closely followed by Valentin's Day. :wallbash:

Sorry .... what does one shot mean ? Whisky ? :confused:

I'm thinking it's a typo and there should be an i where the o is.

One Shot is Sulphuric acid - If you're not careful it can leave purple coloured stains. I doubt you'll get rid of those unfortunately.

Just remembered I had a seriously innocuous dream involving Phil Neville last night FFS

Oh.....Ine shot :p

Talksport or 5 live football phone is. Jesus Christ all Man Utd fans and scousers really are utter *****.

....and they're all lifelong supporters from Tunbridge Wells.

Liverpool fans today - throwing flares, only singing when they score and nicking Southampton's song.

Fireworks - time for a government to ban them except for displays.

Blokes with topknots

Having to deal with an issue in my building where one tenant was subletting a toilet to another one. Thanks for all the hassle in dealing with that stunning level of grubby pettiness you wanker.

Oh yeah and Palace home form. FFS the most compelling reason to rebuild the ground.

Strictly Come F ING Dancing, any time but even more so when it's Halloween. What a SH1T programme.

Probably the best or least worse of reality shows,things like Essex,Geordie,Big Brother,Jungle much worse

How did that work? He was letting the other one in to use his khazi?

That fecking floppy bottle thing.
Drives me mental at the kids football. All they all want to do is lob a water bottle in the air.
Started making them do laps of the pitch every time they do it. Grr.

This X infinity.:veryangry

the yankification of CPFC. The whole throwing t-shirts to the crowd at half time really is tragic...

Atleast we don't have clackers (yet.)

Grow a pair. Oh sorry you said clackers.

The fact that some tills not working properly in a supermarket is headline news.

And that people feel justified in complaining and moaning as though it's the end of the world.

Tweeting numpties who slate a business having a bad day as though they could have done it better. Shit happens occasionally.

Just **** off to Tesco's you wankers.

'Massive Chelsea fans' who give it the buggun then when I find them in a bar with no telly not watching them and the f*cking excuses when I ask why not watching. WANKERS.

First World problems

It happened on a Sunday - God works in mysterious ways! :rolleyes:

Repped.

Adults wearing Halloween fancy dress to the office. Oddballs

The main problem in places like Lidl and Aldi is the way the management take the piss out of both their till staff and the customers by refusing to open another till until queues get big, because God forbid the till staff get 10 seconds of rest, because that wouldn't be fully efficient of course.

Halloween... full stop.

Agree, about 3 of them today in our office of circa 200 people - look like complete and utter nobs, full face paint the lot.

Planting acorns. Enough acorns to populate the surface of the moon. I bet none of the bastards germinate either.

just send the saddos home

can you buy acorns on ebay ?

Soon you can :)

Pulling up germinated acorns from my garden. Bastard squirrels and they're at it again now.

Of course. :D

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/100-ACORNS...UAAOSwmfhX4pz9

What's the answer, chicken wire?

I'm thinking more along the lines of...

https://qph.ec.quoracdn.net/main-qim...t_to_webp=true

That's squirrelist. They have to eat too you know.

Then eat, don't bury the ****ers all over my garden! :veryangry

So do we.

http://i1082.photobucket.com/albums/...psxhljwrc7.jpg

Yum.

They just want to turn your garden back into a forest. Are they red or grey?

You're employed Blind. I pay good rates and you keep the harvest.

Grey. The same grey as nazi uniforms.

Well, you should have said. Feck them then. Had they been heroic red ones that's the whole new argument.

Obviously I've never eaten a red squirrel.


Not enough meat on them.

People who do nothing to help ie at a kids football team but have an opinion on everything and cant wait to tell you.

garden. That's a joke. More like my eat as much as you can buffet for deer.
Blind?

Multi-cultural fireworks.
Bloody celebrating Diwali, Chinese New Year, Guy Fawkes, Thanksgiving, Old Father Time, etc, etc.
Everyone is a bastard, why not just sing a 'happy song' and be done with it instead of letting off fireworks all bloody night.
Bastards.

Trick or Treat. or Demanding money with menaces.

From 6pm I'll be blaring out Gary Glitter at high volume and have a batch of distress flares to fire out though the letterbox.
bloody American shlt. Killed by Friendly Fire, another great American custom (puts on tin hat)

Another option would be to go out with my steak knife and re-create scenes from 'Halloween'.

Red squirrels are inbred ginger halfwits (the anti-addicks of the sciuridae family), and only survive in areas of outstanding national weirdness like Poole Harbour or Merseyside. F~ck 'em.

Tannoy announcement in Ikea asking for all 'functional responsibles to go to the checkout'.

Asked my wife if that meant us.

I'm busy putting chocolate coating on a pile of laxative tabs in readiness for the house calls later :p

:D

They do well up here. Which does sort of corroborate your second point.

:-) The amount of adults in fancy dress trick or treating with their children was a bit disconcerting tonight.

Just accept this isn't the US and take your kids to an organised party or failing that buy them some sweets yourself!

I wouldn't mind but the kids we've had call in the past can't even be bothered to say thank you. So I can't be bothered to answer the door.

Do you pay travelling time?

there were a couple of blokes in the main stand painted up on Saturday. Please notice me cameras.
If you want to get on tv, come and sit at the front and get wet like us real men.

freaks

Wankers letting fireworks off incessantly on Halloween night. :jerkit:

Stoke going above us (pile of sh***)

Probably for Diwali.

Flicking through the music video channels today (1st Nov)

One of them, Heart (Sky 387) has changed over to play xmas tunes, fairytale of new york earlier.

Eye Dee will be pleased

But my reaction is more **** off you ******* *****

Never too early for Kirsty.:frown::love:

People who, having used a self-service counter, decide to stand in front of said counter whilst they finish sorting their stuff out instead of moving a foot to the left and allow someone from the ever growing queue to use it

This. And people who stop in the doorway of a supermarket on their way out to check their till slip. I feel like ramming my trolley into them. :veryangry

And still tossers are letting off fireworks at ungodly hours.
0600 - WTF?

Drivers in the countryside who insist on using full-beam headlights, even with oncoming traffic.
If you can't see an unlit road using dipped headlights, you are travelling too fast for the conditions, or you need an eye-sight test. And keep to your own side of the road.
That's cost me £40 for a new off-side wing mirror.

The expressions gone viral and took to twitter.

People who stop/hesitate in any kind of doorway. It even happens at Selhurst. As soon as some people get through the turnstiles, some fecker stops and wants to check his coat pockets for something. :jerkit:

STEP ASIDE, OUT THE FECKING WAY

The obsession of wearing poppies in Novemeber

Too right happens a lot at Selhurst. Also people stopping at the top or bottom of an escalator

Feeling hungry.

People booking me in to do a days work and then telling me that they no longer wanting it done when I turn up.