Hello how are you today?

Who said that?

Hashtags.

I looked on LinkedIn today for the first time in ages, I became increasingly annoyed by the number of hashtags. #teamwork #networking #liveyourdreams.

What the fuxk is this crap? Do people genuinely communicate like that now? Why am I looking at some fat **** taking photos of themselves in non descript locations including hashtags such as #anotherdaywinning #reachthetop #lovinglife.

#notimpressed

You could have stopped at LinkedIn

Who is a that other c-unit on there that keeps getting liked Gary something or other wait... Vaynerchuk he might be successful but Christ he gets on my tits I have tried and tried to block his content.

#*****

You need to follow an account called @thestateoflinkedim on twitter. They're outing some seriously cringey stuff - made up stories about how people have recruited the homeless person outside the local shop and how they're now their best employee etc etc

Thanks for the link, already chuckling!

Forms - endless filling in of forms.

Not sure if I am annoyed as such.....but the happy hammers pumping out bubbles every match when there aren't fans in the stadium..

Shall we bring out the cheerleaders..

Oh..and neighbours that let their 10 dogs run loose...and other cnuts that hit and run with cars..

That leaves us with a visit to the vets and a dog in the spare room with possible brain damage..

...not a feckin word from the neighbours yet...absent when it happened, except for a seemingly backward teenage daughter who could barely bring herself to make an appearance, and no visit since.

That is a row for me tomorrow.

Not like we need a 4th dog...and we are constantly visited by a 5th that other neighbours are poor with...and that twat stole my ribs off the barbecue yesterday.

Sounds like paradise, Peter

Just Chileans attitude to animals in general. In the capital they are all over small breeds...things like disgusting snorting pugs rather than adopting some dog that needs a home. Therefore, you get the cnuts with puppy farms...some poor bitch constantly breeding.

I would rather have the lot of them put down rather than the animals.

Our first dog was a puppy found lost on the street, all our cats the same, second dog belongs to three neighbours but sits in our garden, third I took off a Chilean mate who decided he couldn't be arsed to care for it anymore - got a free new gamer laptop in that deal.

Vixens screaming at 04.30am. My dogs going mental because of it.

Morning.

Not having cricket to wake up early for tomorrow. I know we are getting sparked but I’m really enjoying a 4 am cuppa and watching it , the cricket itself but the sunshine and the crowd are nice to see too.

Sounds like Andalusia.

My parents are from Cyprus, and the way I saw them treat animals every time I went over there deeply troubled me. Haven’t been back for a few years now so who knows, they might have evolved a little bit and started showing a bit more empathy. Doubt it.

Very much so. Both mine were rescue.

This is the third time in two and a half hours the fox has run through screaming. I believe the shotgun is coming out.

Playa 👍

On a positive note re the Crystals, some of them have volunteered to help out at Selhurst with the vaccinations programme there. My wife who is also a volunteer there has been talking to them.

Great work from the girls. Total respect 🙌.

Sounds like Bulgaria too. Thousands of stray dogs running about.

In our town these aren't strays, they're dogs the owners can't be arsed to walk so they just open their doors and let the dogs out to roam the streets.

I wonder if they still get their goodnight messages from an admirer ( Selhurst Celtic ?).

In Bhutan the stray dogs have created a massive noise pollution problem, which they have been trying to deal with for years. So it surprised me that the king ordered the dogs to be fed during lockdown, because they were not getting their normal scraps of food from passers-by.

Why is the scorer announced and why do they play music before kick off? Who's that for?

Has anyone mentioned Gregg Wallace?

Now he really is annoying

Probably not - it would be as pointless as posting "The Pope" on a "People who are Catholics" thread.

Fair point.

The jogger who expected me to jump out of his way this morning

My companies Anti smoking campaign. As part of a well being thing they are running.
It has obviously been put together by someone how has NEVER smoked.
"Don't have a cigarette, eat some fruit"

"You smell"

"Your nose will drop off"

"beat cravings by X Y Z"

"Be brighter ditch the lighter" (they really did this one)

All treating smokers like pariahs. If I still smoked I will be lighting up out of spite and keeping the door open. They haven't got a clue.

I was out walking mine yesterday when we saw a dog sitting bolt upright in the passenger seat of a parked car. I remarked on it because it looked just like a person sat there...

Five minutes later the car came past us at about 20 mph followed a few seconds later by this dog chasing it down the middle of the road...

We couldn’t work out whether the owner was trying to lose the dog, had forgotten the dog or whether this was some sort of lazy walking technique.

Oh **** that. Try suggesting the next 'awareness' campaign is aimed at obesity.

'Don't have a Kitkat have some fruit'

'you smell'

'your tits are droopy'

etc

Yep I think the title of it will be "Oi Fatty"

I call the comparatively well to do housing estate I live opposite “The Kennels” as every twat has a dog in the front yard whose sole purpose is to bark as loud as possible at anyone venturing near the house (Chilean oik’s go-to home security.) Non of them ever get walked or exercised and therefore are full of energy to bark for hours unceasingly at the slightest movement. The cacophony is unbelievable sometimes.
Much like no Chilean has ever told their children to stop screaming they have never calmed their dogs to stop them from barking.

threads complaining about Van Aanholt .. he's been by far the best full back we have had for many years...will be sorry when he goes.

The idiot who was so engrossed in looking at his phone he walked into my car. Then gave it the billy big bollocks as if it was my fault.


Then did the Andaluz running away manouvere as I slowly got out of my car and approached him.

I was genuinely excited when we bought him from Sunderland, but as a defender he is tactically inept and can't tackle.
He looks great marauding upfield, but when the opposition brak down our attack and then counterattack, he's invariably jogging back rather than busting a gut for the team.
Persist with Tyrick, still learning but already a better defender.

I won't.

Yep, we have discussed this. So many dogs in gardens, and in apartments all day...what a life they have.

Our dogs get walked every day and if not we have space for them to run around. Thus, very little barking at night. Usually has to be one of our mini earthquakes to set them off.

The dog is improving..but will take a few days...looks like it might become ours....but it could easily escape back to its gang. That gang kicks off with the cacophony around 2am most nights.

We have well meaning Brits and Dutch who "rescue" dogs, have up to 30 of them in pens and then beg all and sundry for money to feed them. We have one lunatic about 1/2 a KM from our house, lately she has taken to feeding them at 5.30am, this starts all the penned in dogs yelping and howling....within minutes every dog in the area is kicking off.

You've just succeeded in turning this into another thread complaining about PVA.

Squirrels. I generally like them and I thought the one in our garden looked cute in the snow. Then the snow melted leaving lots of holes in the lawn with empty nut shells neatly left in each one. Clever critters, I'll give them that. The moral of the story is don't plant nut trees in the garden, however nice they look.

Due to the heavy snow and freezing temperatures the last 2 weeks, out of the goodness of my own heart, I put out an old plate on top of my daughter’s trampoline in the garden and filled it each day with loads of seeds and bread crumbs for the birds to feast on. They loved it.

Yesterday was the first day in a while due to the relatively very mild weather, my daughter has been able to get back out to play in the back garden on her play set. Well! Took me half an hour first to clean the absolute shower of bird shit smeared all over the place on her trampoline, swings and slide.

There’s gratitude for yer! :grrr:

Feed them.stuff laced with bicarb.

News sites on mobile where you can’t read the content because various ads keep loading leading to the text continually moving about the screen.

As a runner/jogger myself, I have to agree that there are sadly too many who have no manners. I tend to find a gap between cars, or run on the road or just stop to ensure I keep my distance and always thank people.
I was running around Beckenham place park a few weeks back and went to overtake a jogger; he was right in the middle of a narrow path and looking at his phone, and wearing stupidly large headphones. Didn’t have a clue what or who was around. As I overtook him ( I moved to the grass verge), he said rather aggressively “distance”. I slowed right down and told him to F off, as he hadn’t got a clue about his surroundings, and should have be running at either side of the path rather than in the middle.
He looked a bit sheepish but said nothing.

Pigeons that don’t fly away when they’re supposed to , now I’ve had to wrestle it out of the dogs gob , he’s not happy, pigeons dead And I’ve got feathers to clear away as well as said pigeon

Is it any good with Magpies? I hate those greedy ****ers.

I have that problem when driving. Always remember my driving instructor reassuring me as i broke once as a pigeon stood indignantly in the middle of the road, to just keep driving as they always fly out of the way in time. Well they don’t always Mr know-it all driving instructor.

Hell on earth.

They do tend to be the crap news sites ; why go to them in the first place?

Yes, hate those fkers too. They (and Crows) kill so many of the small birds. I was in Co Donegal back in September and they have lots of grey crows - seems like more than i ever remember growing up. They also kill lots of small hedgerow birds.

I've seen them catch and then have a tug of war with them while they are still alive.

Seems we nursed the bitch back to health...she ran back to her gang earlier..we spoke to the semi-owners, and we will visit with remaining medication and food.

Magpies are brilliant.

The Beatles are brilliant.

Well that’s a fair point Maz old bean. Sometimes I can’t help but just get dragged into them.

Are they?

Fighting talk if you ask me even though I do feel our friend is trying to wind you up......

For what is worth, Beatles are shit

Are they? In what way? Perhaps viewed against the myriad of talented musicians that have come since they could be regarded as overrated but at the time they were fresh, innovative and set standards for pop music in the 60's.

Not to everyone's taste but not shit. Prove me wrong!:moo2:

How can musical taste be proved ?

I think the Beatles are shit. Prove me wrong. I’ll save you a job, you can’t.

I like when you turn your negativity to good.

not according to the Great Geordie nation, who want poor old cabbage head dragged and quartered through the streets of Toon.

Instead of goodbyes, the favourite saying of an old time Donegal man I once worked with was, "may the crows never pick your nest."

Shooting is good fun. Explosion of feathers is very entertaining. Same goes with rooks, jays, jackdaw and crow.

Bloke opposite me when I lived in Minnis Bay was a gamekeeper at Quex Park. He used to shoot the seagulls off our roof from his bedroom window. :D

The Beatles can be put alongside the Bay City Rollers and Showaddywaddy..

How dare you dis Showaddywaddy by putting them alongside the Bay City ******* Rollers

Showaddywaddy were my favourite when I was 7 or 8. Under The Moon Of Love and Three Steps To Heaven being particular favourites.

BCR were shit. But still better than Beatles.

You liked all 3 you couple of freaks! :D

Mud owned them both.

What about Sailor?

Dick Emery ?

Glass of champagne? Loved it but thought Girls Girls Girls was shit

Would you believe they seem to still be going?

No didnt think they made it past the 70's

Multipack crisps.
I mean wtf happened to a normal pack of crisps.
You get back 5 in them now.

At the same time, the amount of crisps you actually get in a pack seems to have diminished significantly.

:D

That was my point, I meant 5 crisps rather than 5 pack.
Barely touched the sides.
Which is what all the girls say..........

Does every single call need to be on zoom?
Just call me, mo fo's.

Seems to be too many people who before Covid couldn't even turn the computer on. Then with lockdown time they started to pick the brains of their great grand kids and all of a sudden they're experts. Now instead of picking the phone up and asking 'how ya doin,' they spend an hour sticking some classics up on a ****in book case that they position strategically behind themselves, comb their hair, find a bottle of designer water, stick on a pair of trendy glasses and then proceed to make an absolute abortion of getting connected to zoom. A ten minute chin wag turns into a two hour, "I can't see you. You're cutting out," palava.

TBF no one picked up the phone to talk anyway. First it was email then WhatsApp/social media/whatever.
I don't think people like talking to each other nowadays... or maybe it's just me they don't want to talk to.

People at work work wash their bow or lunch plate up and leave the sink full of their dirty water.

Perhaps you could mention to your colleagues that the parliamentary statute meant to compel Englishmen to spend their Sundays and holidays “not in pointless amusements such as football, bowls, tennis and dice, but in shooting at the butts" whilst valid in Tudor times is not required today.

Bloody violinists

They really don't. I worked with a company a few years back and the supervisors would be in your view and still shoot you a text. It caused so many problems with some older workers, who just never got the hang of texting.

I'm not sure if it's related, but I never pick up the phone at home anymore. We have caller ID so pretty sure most of the time it's nothing important, and if it was they would leave a message surely (which they never do, unless it's a taped/computerized message).

Example, our phone has rung twice in the last 10 minutes... unknown number... no message left. Plus cell phone rang, came up as "Spam Risk".

Pretty much takes any motivation to pick up the phone away.

Or killing a Welshman in Nottinghamshire, as long as it is after 11pm on a Saturday night and you use a crossbow. Still think that law stands today.

IDNKT

Now, where’s me crossbow

It's on Teams for me.

I take the spam calls......they never ring me again I have noted wonder why.....hehe

I believe there's something similar in York, but killing a Scotsman.
Or maybe its urban folklore.

There is, and the poor old taffy can be knocked off in Chester as long as it's not on a Sunday. There's a load of them old laws that have never been repealed. Surely if we dig deep enough there could be an ancient law from 1018 or thereabouts, which gives a South Londoner the right to bear arms against any male, native to Brighton and Hove.

Yeah I’ve got both.
Find half my day is wasted on these “calls”.
Plus they can see me typing away on something else instead of listening to them harp on.

Turn the camera off.

Glad I could help :D

They all want to look at me.

Ah, you work on Babestation :p