:D

That would be beyond his command of Spanish.

i think he says 'Si, Golf, nada Madrid'

:)

Do you sit for a wee ?

Just been out to lunch and saw three people with small dogs with them in the restaurant. What's that all about? Is this a new thing post pandemic?

And no, they were in no way service dogs.

And... people talking on their phones using the speaker.

Have people forgotten how to act in public?

He doesn't do interviews in Spanish, one of the reasons the press turned against him...that and he dared to outshine Fraudaldo in a Champions League final.

My local have put a sign up asking for people not to bring their dogs into the bar.

I'd rather have a dog in the bar than some shitehawk on his speakerphone.

Actually it's a good point, it's a very Spanish thing to do, put no on the end of the sentence, no?

I've been living in Spain the last 15 years and have caught myself doing that when back in England.

It happens, ask Steve Mclaren. :D

Only on special occasions.

Wouldn't it be the same as using a question tag in English.

Man Utd are wankers, aren't they?

I note the Americans use the word ‘right’ after a sentence, for example, your username is sick bucket, right?

:)

How about a shitehawk on his speakerphone who has a dog....in a bar?

Or English footballers who say "you know" constantly...actually this isn't just limited to footballers...yah know.

The prospect of this....
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-57564172

Zoe Ball on her breakfast show going on & on about the "footy" as if she is interested.

No scrub that - just Zoe Ball

I've definitely mentioned her on here before, intensely annoying, can't listen to her.

Do yourself a favour and listen to Lauren Laverne on 6 music instead :love:

I’m not having that. Zoe Ball has been fantastic for this country during the pandemic. Emphatic and compassionate, she’s performed her role perfectly during these difficult times and has helped a nation through it all with her caring nature. Like the caring aunt of the nation.

“I know right?”

*Thump!

People arguing with flight attendants about wearing masks on a plane. Just bloody wear one. No-one wants to in an ideal world but the rule must be there for a valid reason.

Wankers

The dominoes pizza advert with people yodelling. I dont think any other advert on tv has actually made me swear out loud but this one f£$%&$£ has.

Person A) How are you?
Person B) Good thanks, you?
Person A) I'm good, thanks, so how are you?

Assuming you're Person B, I hope you take the golden opportunity to ask how Person A is, again.

It's happened to me a few times and i always re-ask them again. It seems to be a quite common small talk/conversation opener.

When you’re doing something specific on the weekend like going away to the seaside. Someone says “have a good time at the seaside” when you leave. You reply with “thanks, you too” when they’re not going to the seaside.
*punch yourself in the face.

There is only one winner there

They should make their intentions clear at the check-in desk.

Will save a lot of trouble I agree, on long haul flights you have to change your masks after 4 hours, lol. Luckily no one checks that or it will be fisticuffs

Whither Selhurst Celtic?

Have you been away ChiswickEagle?

Sam Matterface - mangles the English language and comes up with boring statistics.
England fans cheering Scotland losing.

Of course all the sweatys are in tears when we loose. Do me a favoure.

:lux:

It’s a crazy thing. My leg could be hanging off…my whole family all just died in a horrific accident and when asked how I am I dare say I would still reply, ‘Yeah good thanks, you?’

There’s that advert isn’t there about mental health I think, ‘How are you…no I mean really, how are you?’ The thing is when people ask that I really don’t think they want to hear the truth. ‘Well seeing as you asked….my life is absolute effing hell…I’ve never felt worse…I can’t see it getting any better and in fact i can only see it descending into more pain and heartache….’ ‘Err ok….(awkward pause). See the match last night?’

Always remember many years ago sitting in a doctors waiting room and another patient came in and recognised someone else sat waiting for their appointment.

‘Oh hi! How are you?’
‘I’m well, you?’
‘Yeah I’m well too’

The awkward realisation then on both their faces, that clearly if all was well they wouldn’t both be sat waiting to see a doctor…..tickled me somewhat.

Quite. All this ‘Scotland the Brave’, ‘How unlucky do you have to be…?’, ‘Scotland are cursed’, ‘Scotland were magnificent at Wembley’ bullshit.

They simply weren’t good enough to finish even 3rd in a fairly average group of 4. Just like England haven’t been good enough to reach a major final in over 50 years.

Hamstring tears.

It’s been a week and it’s really really annoying, and remains exceptionally painful.

When I went to Selhurst for my second jab , I joined the back of the queue as you do. At the front of the queue a woman (late 50s) started screeching at the security man, who was checking our appointment references. She was shouting that he’d let someone else in ahead of her. She was an absolute ignorant arsehole. However she shut up pretty quickly when the two ladies next to her in the queue had a go at her.

Yep, some (too many) people are just ignorant & selfish. An increasing number of people now don’t wear them on the tube. Of course, they could all have valid reasons not to but I doubt it.

When I have to change my work password & spend the next three days typing in my old password by habit, before being told that it’s no longer correct...

I genuinely don't get the apparent horrible discomfort of wearing a mask - for those without genuine health issues of course. I quite often forget I'm wearing one after going in a shop and remember a few minutes later half way down the street.

Essential travel returning September....

People are just drama queens.

The bloody scalpers that seem to be able to get PS5s, when I cant get one and refuse to pay an inflated price.

Having to pay £110 for a new pet passport when I got an EU one last year with minimal cost and hassle.

Another Brexit benefit.

yeah I'm losing count

Middle class problems.

And it is good to see that the pandemic has allowed Chiswick to train for a new career.

Athough uppity passengers can be a pain.

Pisses me off how my glasses mist up all the time.

And inhaling (my own) stale CO2 gives me a headache. Didn't stale CO2 almost do for Apollo 13?

And another thing (that temporarily escapes me)...

Very much a first world minor annoyance, but worth mentioning anyway...

Went out to dinner Monday evening for my wife's birthday (great to get out again by the way). Restaurant is one of the better places in our little town where food and ambiance is good.

But three minor annoyances which I am willing to put down to them being out of practice, or new wait staff:

1) Ordered a bottle of wine from wine list. As the girl is uncorking it my wife says, "So that is 2019, the wine list says 2018?"... no big deal on our part, and the waitress tap danced around it pretty good.

2) We both had a salad before the main course, they brought us our main courses out when we were only half way through our salads... again no real apology or offers to take them back to keep warm etc..

3) We were given a desert menu, and pick out one to share despite being pretty full! Half way through eating the desert they bring out another one as it's my wife's birthday... If they had told us they were doing this, we would not have ordered a separate desert... too much food!

As I say, first world annoyances, but there you go...

Clive Tyldesley just said he’s ‘put fresh batteries in the calculator’.

I just KNOW that’s gonna stick with me for fvcking years.

I'm one of those people who are seen in their vehicle with a mask on alone, not because of any health/virus reasons, just forget to take the bloody thing off!

I have had the two vaccines and it will be weird not to wear the mask at work or in the stores.

^ BTW, the food and wine was excellent!

I just went to the market and didn't wear my mask, or think about it... I think I'm finally getting used to not wearing one again.

It not like a light switch, i.e. on or off... more like a dimmer switch that you slowly turn on and off.

You up in the space Station Dave?

Look, Dave, I can see you're really upset about this. I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill, and think things over.”


"Dave"?

Talking of the shots, a new neighbour told me why he was not getting vaccinated yesterday....Something to do with JFK's assassination, fecking seriously!?

He asked me if I had any side effects to the two shots I have had, I told him my dick had grown to 14 inches.

Not even a conspiracy theorist can believe it makes your dick grow 13 inches. :D

LOL:D

Good point well made.

That sounds like something James Burke would have come up with in Connections back in the 70's.

Wrong side of the tape measure I reckon. 13cms.

I think HH had that problem in his engineering.

The NHS process. It's like they deliberately make it as hard as possible. Needed a blood test the process is:

1) pick up forms from your own GP. Has to be a physical trip, no way to email the forms.
2) Go online and book one of several surgery doing blood tests. All several weeks in advance and none whatsoever at my own GP
3) Call GP for results. Got given a phone appointment in 4 weeks to discuss! When I said that was ridiculous they gave me a different GP in just under 3 weeks.

In France you go into your local GP for a blood test and they call you with results a day or so later. What's so hard about that? All this process, wasted journey, delay and paper?

Hospital process is worse:

1) Head in for a scan
2) Leave and you can't book your return appointment in person, must be done online at home
3) Head back weeks later to discuss results. Dr / consultant would have to remind themselves of your case then give a 30 sec look at the results and discuss.

In France you go in for the scan, wait in the waiting room for a short period. Same Dr / Consultant calls you back in and discusses it.

That is so much more efficient for everyone. Less appointments. All one visit. No unnecessary delay. No unnecessary admin process. Why the **** can't they do this in the NHS?

Vaccination and assassination quite easy to get mixed up? That was one hell of a side effect caused by JFK's vaccination!

Loved that series, did not miss one.

I just took my car to be serviced at a dealership (I know... my first mistake).

Made an appointment online for 10:00am, so get there at 10 to be met by 10 to 15 other cars in line in front of me all with 10:00 appointments. They can't handle that many cars at once (Big sign outside about Help Needed).

Show the guy a recall letter I got, and he says he had never heard of it, but somehow without reading the letter knew he didn't have the parts to do the recall and offered no advice on when to try again.

On my appointment set-up online I said I wanted someone to check my transmission as I thought it was changing gear a bit erratically... he tells me it didn't show up on the appointment in their computer, and anyway there is a 3 week wait to get transmissions looked at, and besides he doubted there was anything wrong with it due to age and miles on it.

Good I hate dealing with these jerks... will I ever learn?

Another post pandemic adjustment I guess.

Woman in the gym last week saying the vaccine was "genocide"...I got a tad irate.

Lol

When Sports presenters are referring to a game to be played at 5pm and they say "tonight's game"! Since when did the afternoon become the night, even in winter?

When products change their packaging and you spend way too much time trying to figure out if it is the same product...

Why?

People agreeing to a contract with real enthusiasm and then backing out at the last minute before signing it.

Individuals who contact programmes such as Points of View. So up their own arse.

It is funny though…..if I was to read some of that, I wouldn’t be able to control my laughing

Are you suggesting that people who air their opinions via a media provider are up their own arse? :supergrin:

£6.50 for a pint in a Sam Smiths pub.
That hurt.

Sam Smith must have money on his mind to be charging that.

I didn’t know that Points Of View was still on!

Points of View was quite funny.

Very good.
Was shocked, thought he had enough cash to charge me a ridiculous number for a pint.

I know i’ll be old one day (hopefully), and naturally you slow down to a snails pace - I know…

but nipped into Tesco’s the other morning in a crazy rush against time to buy a few essentials before picking up my daughter from nursery. I swear it was like something out of The Truman Show, where they hired a group of octogenarians to stop me at every corner, in every aisle from finishing my shopping quickly for the comedy purposes of the audience watching.

They’d double up, down an aisle, taking up all available space so I couldn’t get past; on more than one occasion they’d be stood for ages, pondering in front of precisely the item I wanted to buy. I double backed down an aisle to run right around to the top end to get to the item I wanted and lo and behold they’d suddenly appear two old dears blocking the top of the aisle with their trolleys having a chat. ARGHHHH!!

And worse of all you can’t get annoyed, you just wear this stupid forced manic Basil Forty-esque smile and keep saying, ‘Oop sorry, I’m in your way…Ooo I’m sorry my love it’s me - stupid rushing man.’ It’s wrong but in my imagination I was ramming through them all like an American footballer hellbent on a touchdown - old limbs everywhere.

My wife paid 12€ for a bottle of water in a bar in La Cala yesterday. Ducking disgraceful.

People other than Yanks who put their hand on their heart during the national anthem. Watched the A league final today load of people mostly young doing it, **** off not everything has to be Americanised.

People who read whattsapp messages and dont reply. I know you have read it so reply!!

WhatsApp need to bin that function.

If you go to privacy settings you can disable it but you can't see if people have read yours then either.

That’s bonkers. Was it a normal bar or a Hotel de Posh type thing?

I tried that before but google told me you can no longer do it. Thanks though, I'll try again now :p

Certainly works on my account.

Its a bar restaurant called Olivias in a little town called La Cala and is owned by a z lister who, apparently, was on Towie. Is marketed as "Marbs", but Marbella is over 20km away.

My wife went there yesterday to meet a friend and was outraged at the prices. This 12 euro water arrived, opened, at the table and was poured for everyone. Now water is usually a freebie or is sold for around a euro a bottle in restaurants. When she saw the bill she couldnt believe it.

Cheapest pizza is 17 euro, burgers range from 20 to 50 euro.

Total rip off, and mugs pay it.

Even I've never heard of this Elliott Wright person so he must be below Z list.

https://www.oliviaslacala.com/ - everything about this makes me sad. Surely you lot can use Brexit to deport these rotters?

"Cry more / stop crying"

"Living rent free in your head"

"That's it. That's the tweet"

"WrItInG tHiNgS wItH jUmBlEd UpPeRcAsE aNd LoWeRcAsE lEtTeRs"

Etc etc and so on and so forth. Just stop it all of you.

Someone set it on fire earlier this year:

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.mir...t-24022054.amp

Barry Took must be getting on a bit;)

Good.

Wow. Just wow. Boomer.

I find these people clinically fascinating and want to watch a highlights showreel of all the major incidents in their lives.

You love to see it

Really? I thought Mulligans was a bit pricey but:love:

Glacier water with cucumber?

You just won the internet (or Twitter) today.

Underrated post