"Whats the weather like up there" is a goodun.

Not being able to do matched betting in Cyprus. Have taken to doing DIY at midnight instead.

Fair enough.

"You're tall aren't you"

"Yep. You on the other hand are short and fat":)

Sitting at the free bar and not knowing what to drink...

People who decide to long term fiddle about with their pavement parked cars with the passenger door open, their crap on the pavement by it and their arse hanging out of it, with my arse and my dogs having to make their way into the road to avoid theirs.

Ending up with keys that you haven't got a fecking clue where they are for.

What about gingers?

I think it's the intent behind what they're saying.

So someone commenting, 'wow you're tall' isn't meant to be negative, although can be annoying if you hear it several times a day.

Whereas someone saying 'you're short and/or fat' is obviously derogatory and not intended to make that person feel good about themselves.

Would that be by the tube station and the pub on the corner. :veryangry

The messy, sawdusty cereal that my toddler son loves to eat, namely Ready Brek. Fecking impossible to transfer cleanly from box to bowl.

Messi's new peroxide blonde hair and ginger beard. Short arsed tax evader.

Instead, she's imagining a long todger in her gaping pink chasm.

M25 near heathrow. An hour delay at 8pm. Fkin useless road

Wagammas serving your food about 10 minutes before the person you are with and bringing out starters last.

But they tell you they do this apparently as bad service is actually 'cool'.

Also when you order shed loads of food somewhere and the waiter then asks 'is that all'?

Finally, East Croydon Sainburys by the NLA tower. Half the self service machines are always not working, no members of staff ever fix them. They are by a train station and people are in a hurry. No other similar supermarket has this problem.

On a cereal related theme, Kellogg's selection boxes no longer including Ricicles.

I just got an email from a company inviting me to a seminar about "bullet-proofing your offboarding process".
wanker speak wankers

reading my emails at 2:15am because I can't sleep.

Fat people loafing their plates with all matter of high fat high sugar foods at hotel buffets

In particular fat parents of fat children encouraging their obese offspring to eat more crap. Essentially child abuse

People who take photos of every bit of food they eat

ITV's Tipping Point.
This is a very simple game.
You drop your disc so that it lands and pushes the other discs off the edge.
Children can do this.
When the slidey thing is moving towards the front DO NOT DROP YOUR DISC - YOU FECKING MUPPET.
Drop it just before it heads back out again, OTHERWISE IT WILL STAND UPRIGHT AND WILL LIKELY 'RIDE' WHEN IT FALLS OVER.

The pillock on yesterday drove me up the wall.
Funny old thing, he lost.

This should only be allowed if matched with a later photo of the food exiting the body. Will stop a few of these boring twats if so.

:D

'The Crystal Maze' used to get me the same way.

It was funny when fellow despairing team members would say 'oh just come out', and then refuse to pay crystals to free them, clearly believing them incapable of differentiating between the gold and silver bits of paper.

Stupid tablet that keeps changing the words I write to make them (even less) unintelligible.

Is that the red tablet?

Scottish spell checker? :)

Simples. Put the open box into a plastic bag and pour the hot milk (and sugar to taste) into the box. Don't worry about the box dissolving, he/she won't be able to taste the difference.

Aye. Wish I cud turn the bastard off but I cannae.

When you get out of a lift,people who stand directly in front of you,trying to get in. Presumably related to those people who try to get on trains when people are getting off

Or the people that press the button to get in when the doors have been trying to close a few times. The lift is clearly full and they squeeze in and have the audacity to apologise when they clearly are not sorry. Or they deliver the obligatory lift small talk of "room for a small one". And they often are not small.

I'm sure I've posted this before but it's true......on such occasions I've found a small rucksack swinging accidentally on purpose from my shoulder as I approach them works a treat.

No need for actual physical contact, but the sudden motion as you march purposefully out of the lift or train is enough to make most take a step back and then you're past them and gone.

"Brexiteer" - as if this person is some kind of musketeer, swashbuckling, cavalier.
"Brexiter" - that's better.

Signing expensive contracts with companies I've never dealt with, just to watch football.

'Do i get a refund if we get relegated?'

People that lay across four seats in airport lounges/gates avoiding eye contact with other people that are looking for somewhere to sit down. Ignorant.

Ebay. I go for my normal look through the antiques to see if I can find a million pound item no-one has noticed and they have added another posh term for something. I had no idea what it is so I looked up Incunabula and it is basically very old books. Apart from wasting a bit of my time looking not too much of a problem. I go to have a look on the auction listings and some dopey mofo has put this http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Alfie-Davi...gAAOSwTZ1XlR-o and this http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Brand-New-...0AAOSwtnpXkRLp under that category.

How f*cking thick are people?

People on trains who sit in the aisle seat when the window seat is free. I now make a point of sitting on that free window seat even if other seats are available.

The BBC, again. This time on the news site a video about a chimp that died. This in itself is not a problem but the sad heartstring pulling music is a new low for a news site.

Only way to get any leg room. Always do it so I have somewhere to stretch so my torn calf doesn't cramp up. Don't see the issue as long as people are prepared to move to let people through.

Those who don't get up to let people less fortunate sit down "just because they pay their fare" are another matter.

The civil service jobs website that keeps crashing I've lost 3 hours of work on the sodding competencies today I could scream

The flaw in my character that makes me check the transfer rumour threads more often than is sensible.

I hate inefficient civil servants who eek out a 10 minute job and make it last three hours by not simply copying and pasting pre-written answers or competencies from a Word document instead!

Did you write directly on the site?

Never do that!

Always write in word and then copy and paste it.

Talking of competencies...

What annoys me is that the sift is meant to be impartial and is meant to adhere to set parameters so that people's competencies can be measured in a fair way.

It is therefore a joke that the same competency that I submit gets a 6 for one sift and 3 for another! How the hell is that even possible?

Do you change light bulbs for a living. Bollocks.

Wash basins seem to be shrinking. Finding it impossible to wash hands without splashing water all over myself and the loo floor at work. The basin is tiny, added to which the tap is 'automatic' and pisses the water out at about 200psi into said tiny sink. Disaster.

Rio Ferdinand on the EE advert

Places that sell Pepsi instead of coke!

Pepsi and Coca Cola,fizzy piss water

Overuse of the same stock phrases on the BBS - at the moment, multiple people on Palace BBS threads resorting to the reply 'stop wetting your knickers'.

About a year ago the overused phrase was 'such a sense of entitlement amongst Palace fans'

More originality needed when contributing to a thread please.

Last year's version of that was to describe anyone with whom you disagreed as being "hysterical".

Or "troll"

Yes, total wankers, I do the same as well just to piss them off

Netflix and the way it just starts the next episode straight away oh well another OITNB to watch

The transfer rumour thread at the moment. Just makes me depressed.

I keep telling myself to wait for Rumour to go green and become Official, but I just can't help myself.

Coming back from holiday and finding my work van doesn't work. I'm self employed, these things hurt.

F#*kwits that drive with headlights on because they're still wearing their shades

Overuse of the word 'patriot'. Repeated ad nauseum online by those who don't realise they are being agitated by some spotty virgin in his Texas bedroom.

Christ, me too.

Every day I turn to it hoping to read something that will cheer me up.

It hasn't worked yet,

Plastic glasses in Pubs before and after football matches .

Christian Benteke.

The dartford tunnel, no cash booths, yet still takes hours to get through.

This, it seems worse now then when they had the booths never seems any problems coming other way over the bridge.

30mph speed limit on account of the rapey lorry drivers.

Christian Benteke

Greg Wallace. Twat

Tom Daley. Shallow, orange, plastic man. Pointless.

[QUOTE=Worksop Palace;13135581]Greg Wallace. Twat[/QUOTE

:rolleyes: wonder if your post was prompted by this evenings documentary about spuds, ruined by his repeating exactly what he had just been told and shouting a lot.

Gypsies turning up on pleasant green open spaces and leaving the place looking like a dump when they leave.....they're just turning up on Purley Way today :(

Why can't their vehicles be confiscated to pay for the clear up costs?

Bad drivers.
I was at a junction, was unsure if I should give way to a driver, I said which way ya going. She replied "right, obviously!"
It would help if you used ya ****in indicators

I was behind another driver a few weeks ago, changed lane twice on dual carriageway, when I over took, I noticed they had both wing mirrors folded inwards

I can confirm as fact.

The fact that at least one of the lifts in my building is out of order at any given time

Are you a squatter ?

The Mother in Law

My trip to France in a couple of weeks for the brother in-laws wedding. Costing more by the bloody week.
Flaming fiasco with the car i'd planned to take costing me 4 new tyres and another few hundred quid for releasing seized tracking adjustment bolts. It only went in to get the air-con fixed. Green flag want more than quoted for for their breakdown cover, on top of the travel insurance to cover for the neurotic poncing stepson. And the Missus has now decided she needs to get her hair done and replace the dress she'd already bought for it.
If i get to Dover and hit queues, i'll happily sit their for a week and drink freebie water at this rate.

Parking up my road!!! I live in a quiet little no through road and in 18 years never had a problem parking, but recently it's been a pain in the arse!!:veryangry

[QUOTE=Oldtown Eagle;13135625]Precisely

He's like a bloody child

[QUOTE=Worksop Palace;13136848]Indeed, but probably best not to spank him.... :afro:

The bloke over the road from me who's lowered the kerb and built a driveway so his wife can get her micra on it. But now won't park his sodding van in front of his house. But happily will in front of mine or the neighbours, meaning we have to hunt for spaces. Cock!

The sudden disappearance of Lucy Veresamy from the Benteke thread. Yes I know I could just google her, but it makes me smile when someone posts her on the BBS. An antidote to the negative posts.

I have to admit that I found him ok in masterchef and thought John torrode was a bit of a twat, but after seeing Wallace in that program last night and last week my views have changed.
He's getting around a bit as he's on that eat well thing later which he is a bit more bearable in.

And how about the bastards who take up enough room for two cars, especially those with stupid little Suzuki things,,,,,,and she's a feckin Gillingham supporter:wallbash:

When you agree to a meeting with someone and you manage to cover everything you wanted to talk about between picking them up from reception and getting to the meeting room.

Awkward.

That's the time you invest in the Benteke thread :p

Worth investing in a cheap eyesore of a sh@t heap jest to park outside his house. Selfish twat.

Motorway signs that reduce speed to 50 and say "incident ahead, slow down" for two or three miles and finish with an "End" sign when there has been absolutely nothing there.

Meanwhile the traffic backs up to nearly a standstill and you've witnessed a few near-misses as a bunch of cocks in BMWs/Audis/Mercs continually change lanes and undertake to gain a few extra yards on the rest of us.

Today on the M40 - f*ck them all.

Sunderland AFC. What's the point?

Large DIY stores that place items in illogical locations with the intent I''m sure of making you walk up and down the isles so you buy extra stuff you didn't know you needed.

I always ask one of the old boys hanging around at the entrance where to find what I'm looking for. I wanted some trellising the other day, garden section or lumber (both at opposite ends of the store)?

I wanted a halogen light bulb for the bathroom can light. Was it with the recess lighting, no. Was it with the light bulbs, no. It was with the blinds and shutters.

Where else would it be for heavens sake! :D

BTW, wooden fencing, garden section, trellising that you would fix to said fencing, lumber section.

Frank Ocean

Boom Boom Akabusi in the womb.

and another thing,
I've just tried to do a sit up (to start getting rid of my belly) and failed, miserably.
Not even 1.

You do DIY hedge?? I just imagined you laying on the beach all day with a cold beer or 3:D

Having one forward on the books one week before the season starts. OK, 2 with Campbell. Not blaming anyone or having a dig, just find it annoying. I'm sure its not from a lack of trying.

Stinging nettles, seriously what is the point of them.

No... I pay someone to do my DIY now. But I did have to change a light bulb this week.

It was either do it myself, or hirer 6 Americans to do it!

Traffic lights. Why, seemingly without fail, is the person at the front of the queue now colourblind and cant see the lights change colour and sits there for 10 seconds meaning only 2 cars end up getting through.

You can even follow the lights sequence and get off quicker than an F1 driver if you so wished but these morons seem surprised when theirs turns green!

Making lunch for people who are an hour late