Mitch and I went to see the Malaga orchestra, for a Wagner, Tanhauser evening. Some old spic dog, opening wrapped sweets and three text messages. I was about to explode, when a spic fella did it for me. :D good man.

Great evening apart from that.

London Bridge station 'testing alternate route' between the train platform concourse and the tube. What exactly are they testing, that directing people down a rabbit warren of twisting tunnels takes significantly longer than the direct A to B route that was being used last week?

Thats still pretty much the conversations I have.

Agreed - this is absolute bollocks.

Eastenders.

Utterly ******* ridiculous. How is this show still getting funded?

....because it fills a lot of slots in the schedule?


We stopped watching it several years ago. We suddenly agreed it was boring us and shouty nonsense.

Haven't missed it in the slightest.

So if we all did that, it'd get the axe at last.

The Simpsons

Used to be TV gold- watched it the other day, totally jumped the shark..

EastEnders should be banned because it's racist. Everyone knows that the whole square and surrounding areas would be inhabited by Pakistanis and Bangladeshis and the Vic would be a Muslim Comminuty Centre. But it's predomenantly full of white people shouting at and kicking the shit out of each other, when in reality they all pissed off to Essex to do that years before the soap started.

Same as Corrie. How many streets in Moss Side have only one Asian family and a homosexual with Downs Syndrome? And a bloke who used to be on Play School fingering Jemima?

Apparently Southerners are falling over themselves to move to a small village in Cheshire with a murder-per-capita rate higher than El Salvador.

Just watched episode 2 and Homer dancing nude to I Feel Free by Cream must give it a few plus points :)

People who keep losing things

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...ck-BOTTOM.html

Some people will do anything to get in the papers

Finchy from The Office was wrong :(

Please yourself with this interesting topic written on " Are Vampires Real ? – The Vampire Myth, Real or Claim ? "

I can't share URL. Reply me to give your URL of this post private and you shall share it on the thread.

German wankers. One specifically.

Helmut Stroker?

Excellent.

Four candles? :)

"a bit of Saturday morning playtime" !? Man, I've lived a sheltered life.

Daily mail probably made it up.

I think you're over analysing.

Bosses who think that paying you a wage gives them Carte blanche over your life.

She came 4 times in the ambulance. No wonder it got there in 5 minutes.

Most un-daily mailish story ever.

She looks rougher when she's made herself up. I bet her parents are so proud.

It was in the Metro too. She's even quoted as saying "Lee's not been scarred by it - he just thinks it's funny. I think he should have one up his bum and take it one for the team"

I don't care if you are from North Wales, you still wouldn't come out with that if it was a real story.

I saw some porn documentary who knows where and why but the same thing had happened to a girl. She had to kneel in front of the sofa, bend over and eventually managed to shit it out. Not one of my best wanks.

'He tried a kitchen fork handle...' The two Ronnie's will be spinning in their graves!

That's a story right out of Viz

A documentary was it? Was that before or after the fly-on-the-wall wildlife feature and the proctology infomercial?

Lewis Hamilton

What a self absorbed, arrogant prick

It was presented by Proffesor Brian Cox. Standing there grinning as usual. When it came out he shoved it up his own arse. Still grinning.

Then started going on about other universes with a dildo up his aris.

Had a boss try that on me once. Just the once. He looked stupid with one McDonalds straw down both nostrils.

Aris? Is that a moon?

Don't know if I'm being whooshed but here goes.
Aris short for Aristotle
Aristotle = bottle
Bottle and glass = arse

A bit convoluted but there you go.

And if you show off your bare arse?

The apprentice a good reason to hate anyone who describes themselves as an entrepreneur

That bloke who narrates Come Dine With Me

WTF?

I did wonder LOL, I was trying to work out the cricket post as well :D

Takes all sorts...;)

From the many stories I heard from LAS staff the tops off deodorants were the items most likely to go...ahem astray.

One bloke stuck a flower down his japs eye to impress. I can't remember exactly what it was, but the stem had bristles or hairs on it and it stripped his urethane a bit...

I read some quotes from the participants the other day. They should be abandoned on a uninhabited island somewhere so they don't pollute the rest of humanity.

Kate Tempest.

Is that the bird that goes round rapping shit poetry in a really shit way ? If so, I'm with you

Yes, that thinly-veiled sarcasm is now uniformly aped by every other show of the genre.

Which is nice.

You could make it in the style of hit Japanese film Battle Royale. You'd have a true winner and also 17 less ***** on the planet. All being well Brady would get done in the crossfire

I reject the Come Dine with Me motion, it's perfect Sunday hangover viewing when you don't want to get out of bed

:supergrin:

To be fair cricket is pretty incomprehensible. I thought my cricket playing mate was taking the piss when he first told me about the Duckworth Lewis method.

Lazy bastards who let their front garden hedge grow into a jungle over the pavement so you have to either cross the road or duck and dive your way underneath. Bad if they happen to be brambles!

Yep, a BRIT School and Goldsmith's alumnus who pretends to have been brought up in a dustbin. So unauthentic she makes Damon Albarn look like Li'l Wayne.

Not sure if they do this in The UK, probably do because they copy everything we do in America, but we get letters from charities asking for contributions and in the letter they for some reason tape a penny, or a nickel or dime in them "as a gift".

Anyway I usually put these solicitations (without the coin) straight in the shredder. I just did this only to hear a horrible grinding noise and snap crackle and pop! I now have my second ****ed up shredder due to trying to shred these coins.

I'm convinced they do it on purpose for this very reason.

Bastards.

Just a thought H, but why shred junk mail?

Things that annoy you
 

It has our name and address on it - and I love shredding - I find it somewhat cathartic!

In restaurants when you order an alcoholic drink and ask for a tap water as well, and they 'forget' to bring the tap water. It happens far too often to be accidental.

People who say that Brexit has not been as bad as was feared.

Let's wait until Brexit happens eh?

Not sure we copy everything you do in the states. For a start most of us don't have guns:supergrin:

Ryan Giggs being used as a pundit on ITV's England coverage.

Could have stopped at Ryan Giggs

But I bet you would if you could!

This where the UK is far more civilised, charities just post you an endless supply of bin bags.

:D

The jocks thinking James McArthur is shit!!!!

MUGS the lot of em

When there's a corner and as the ball comes into the box the goalie or somebody shouts "away". Are all defenders so thick they don't know what to do?

Feck off and die please.

Les?

We can, but in a strictly controlled manner.

Unlike you loons over the pond.

Jack Whitehall,crap comediian who seems to on every time i switch on the tv.Must admit i enjoy watching him being well battered by our own Katy Taylor He is a posh boy who screams when he gets a clump.

He is very funny when doing stand up. Saw him at top secret and was by far one of the best comics I've seen for a long time

People who instantly start chewing a boiled sweet instead of sucking it. Sounds like they're eating their teeth. At least it's over quickly.

Drivers who cannot be bothered to indicate whether they are turning left or right , something which should be natural to any competent driver.

Bang on. Seems to be getting worse by the day...regularly get very wound up by this.

Chit Chat Gold threads appearing on latest active thread lists....especially when someone has replied to about 10 in a minute.

Used to be a French thing along with not understanding about giving way at roundabouts but it is gradually becoming the norm over here. :veryangry

They'd have lost without him. Twats

But if they are a Vampires are they not the part of the undead so how can they?

Just in case any of this thread's contributors decides to "blow of steam" in the gym.

https://www.theguardian.com/science/...ercising-angry

What did I do ?

;)

https://66.media.tumblr.com/abb79a1f...mi3zo1_500.gif

http://i.imgur.com/Vznk1z2.gif

From what I can see, absolutely nothing. :supergrin:

Referees drawing a straight line for a defensive wall to stand behind with their vanishing spray. A line ten yards from a ball should be circular.

This is how it should be done https://gfycat.com/TautGlaringChihuahua

Work meetings where attendees line up 1 or 2 mobiles, Pda, laptop etc in front of them, as if the more items they have reinforces their (self) importance.

:jerkit:

Referees wasting their magic spray annoys me

[QUOTE=GanbareWashi;13265120]

Referees wasting their vanishing spray annoys me :lux: [ /QUOTE]

Peter 'booming pain in the arse' Hook

Parking in disabled bays with no badge.

Then spend the time whilst you are talking fiddling with one or the other!

Why, do you keep getting a ticket?

****wits on scrambler motorcycles tearing round our local woods.

5 metres of wire + 2 trees = problem solved

Hopefully the fact that they don't wear helmets, to avoid the fuzz, will catch up with them.

Yeah we've got one of these. It was very amusing the other week when he had two lads down from IT Support complaining he couldn't pick up the office WiFi on it.

Well you self important lesbian twat if you used a pen and notepad like everyone else you wouldn't have this issue in the first place. Also rather than scrolling through emails maybe you should pay attention to the meeting at hand :jerkit:

As Barry Davies once remarked - you have to say that's magnificent. What game is it?

Cor v San.

These are the same twats that have ever increasingly large rucksacks with them at all times to take people out on tubes and trains.

Wouldn't be a line then, would it. :p

Just seen a CO Op Fairtrade advert. It was horrible but you need to see it yourself to see what I mean. Glad I've eaten already

Yes it would, it just wouldn't be a straight line :cool:

Nope, that would a curved line. A line is straight:D

An actual adult, interviewed on the BBC confessing that he was 'really excited' to get his new phone and 'heartbroken' when it was recalled and production cancelled.
Have a word, you tit.

Was this David Campbell from the north of Ireland?

I hate that you can't bullshit anymore or pretend you are intelligent before some ******* tosspot pulls out their ******* iPhone ******* 5s large and finds the ******* facts on wiki ******* something....**** off you iPhone wanker...you didn't know the answer so just let me have my moment of glory!!!!

Other than that I am fine

Yep, obviously not getting to you that one is it