You know that not everything on wiki is true don't you? My son refused to believe that until recently

I heard that as well.

If they had not asked for it back and then caught fire he would have started complaining they hadn't recalled it.

How does not wearing helmets help them avoid the fuzz?

Wouldn't it attract more fuzz attraction as it's an offence in itself to not wear one?

Fuzz :afro:

Point of order.

A line can be either straight or curved. It's still a line.

Just for a week, I would love to see all the mobile networks shut down, just to see the mass hysteria.

I'm not sure that was the point I was making. :p

They aren't allowed to chase the little feckwits if they don't have one on. To dangerous for the little darlings.

How about simultaneously installing a working network mast at sea just off Beachy Head with a signal that almost reaches the cliff edge. Just to see the lemmings.

Ok I give in. 100 lines for me

Are they allowed to identify them though?

:D:lux:

Yes but give him a break how else is he going to be able to take a photo of his prawn cocktail and share it with his 850 'friends'? Never mind the 478 selfies per week.

Make it illegal for anyone under 21 to have a mobile or use the internet for 1 day so they can see what the world used to be like

I have never understood the need to use phones all the time. I can only charge mine though my laptop so usually keep mine switched off now so I don't have to do it often and don't feel the need to constant check it or text people. I only use it if I feel it's necessary.

David Mitchell doing another ad for something shite. Whoring himself around even more liberally

You see!!! I bet you Google that!!! Arsehole!!😁😁😁😁

I hate that it is no longer allowed for you not to answer your phone...."I tried to call you and you didn't answer" "oh I am sorry, was I supposed to send you a calendar invite to listen to me strain for a shit"?

I do miss the old bullshit spoken down the pub.."ere terry, did you hear that bob Marley got famous after he was heard humming in perfect fried chicken in south norwood"? "Nah mate your Avin a laugh ain't ya"? No (hands up) I swear down mate....I wouldn't lie to ya....

Nope but he does

Nah just hack the Pokemom hunting maps and put a rare one there instead. Notify the world on social meedja, sit back and watch the carnage

You do realise that this could be so successful that I could walk from here in Dorset to meet up with you at your local on the Isle of Wight without getting my feet wet.

Don't think so. This fella didn't mention anything about travelling first class.

same for Idris Elba

Jimmy Carr's fake laugh

All lines are straight?

On further thought I think this should be in the next government's plans.

By getting rid of a load of stupid people we would:

1 reduce the burden on the NHS
2 relive congestion on the roads
3 free up housing in the South east

It would also save a fortune in building a bridge and so revive the IOW economy.

I'm sure this is the kind of plan UKIP would love.

See you at the Pub

Was having a discussion the other day, that as recently as the late 90s, you'd have to wait at a bus stop with absolutely no idea when the next one was coming and have nothing to do while you waited. You'd literally just stand there peering into the distance for any sign of the bus. No wonder we all smoked like chimneys. Was the only thing to keep you occupied when waiting alone.

People eating a large bag of smelly crisps on the train. Just irritates the hell out on me. Feeling punchy now.

Amen to that, and listening to them crunching drives me mad too

Watching England and the so called world class players looking awful again.

If the edge of the wall is 2yds away from where the ref paced out the 10, then it is only 7 inches difference. I think this will be less than the accuracy of the pacing out and comparable to any variations due to the line inevitably being a bit wobbly.

This whole clown thing. My 12 year old step son came back from school talking non stop about it saying he had seen a clown etc outside school when he was in class. It turned out it was hearsay (he didn't actually see it) from others that had exaggerated and twisted the story for effect. In the end the school had to make an announcement to say nothing was seen just because of Chinese whispers.

When you get told (incorrectly) what was said in a meeting by someone who wasn't there.... but you were

When you've been asking for someone to sort something out for months and then they ask you why you've not done something.... well it would be because you haven't sorted out the problem I've been asking you to sort out for months

Was in the window seat of a four seater close proximity carriage and three people each eating a kebab sat around me. Not only was the stench unbearable but they all ate like animals and it went everywhere. One guy not only picked fallen bits of kebab off his coat and eat them but off his girlfriend's too. :wallbash:

Maybe we give them a peg with a piece of string attached so they can do it accurately.

49mm difference i make it (approx) with a 5 man wall.
10yards from centre of ball (9144mm)
Each man shoulder to shoulder (465mm wide)
This would be even shorter if linking arms or overlapping

An option would be to have a 10 yard (9144mm) piece of string with a tent peg on one end and the spray can on the other..

Pretty sure that is designed to be annoying.

Not Sandi Toksvig?

http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/...7_1180635a.jpg

:eek:

People texting\Facebook\Instagram\Twitter whilst driving, even if the traffic is slow at least if you going to do this keep the ******* car going in a straight line, these are minor *****, the major ***** are those doing the above whilst driving at normal speeds.

Sounds like his girlfriend has a badly packed kebab

The new Nationwide 'poetry' ads. The whole concept and delivery is vomit inducing.

Things that annoy you
 

People who have artistic black n white pics of themselves as their profile pics on twitter. Narcissistic bastards.

Those M&M adverts on cinema screens and the net where two chocolate buttons talk shite in American accents. First time I've ever thought 'I could murder some chocolate' in the literal sense.

Donald Trump. Standards of political assassination in America have clearly dropped since the 1960s.

Nick Kyrgios. People blessed with that talent who are continual complete c*nts. Not many I must say but what a wanker he is.

He's what we call up here ' a fvcking mardy ****'

American TV dramas. Generally I prefer them these days to British ones. But FFS, STOP these ******* montages with sickly music. Who thinks this is a good idea? Some shows don't just have them at the end, but the ******* start too, and it's like they are in competition to see who can do the longest one. JUST ******* CUT IT OUT and stop spoiling a good show.

Rant Over

Ummmm M&M's are American.

The intro to the really rather dire Pop ditty 'Pop ya collar' by the American R 'n' B star User.

Sky Q ad with Idris. Has anyone in the history of the universe ever been in a situation where there are 5 tv programs on at the same time that they desperately need to watch?

No, but I've been in a situation where there has been 3 to programs on at the same time with Sky HD. Better to have too many than not enough.

So so true that.

Adverts all of then, just seen the new Costa Coffee one wtf is that all about

Money supermarket dance off tweets - just get off my timeline you uninvited tossers

Working in an open plan office with no shops nearby I have to put up with horror that is other people's foul smelling dinners that they heat up in the microwave. I have asked if they can eat it in a spare office upstairs but they all refuse. I have a plan but trying to get hold of durian fruit in Basingstoke is proving rather difficult.

Alternatively get out of the house and get a life.

Microwave some kippers, put them on your desk and go out to lunch.

Very effective left behind a radiator if there is one:D

I have a house-guest who is friends with a colleague. This house-guest keeps telling me things that are going on at my work (she's never even been to the office, let alone worked here, or met anyone else I work with).

It's interesting to hear how my colleague thinks the world works, that's for sure.

:jerkit:

Our office is next door to the kitchen and dinner complete bastard cooked fish in the microwave on Tuesday. Not happy :veryangry

The debate in the Commons about babyloss, stillbirths and miscarriages annoys me as it shows real people (from all sides of the House) discussing with deep feelings things that have affected them and the people they know. My heart goes out to all people who have experienced that.

The reason it annoys me is that it shows that politicians can be human, can speak with feeling, can agree and can show what the Commons can do. So why don't they do it more often?

https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/197059...nager-herself/

TV (95% of it is best avoided)

People who when turning right slide out to the left first and visa versa.

Hate to say it, but it is usually women... my wife being a prime culprit.

Interestingly you have to do this if riding a push bike.
Try it if you don't believe me, i know i had to when i heard it.
(although you can lean and make a wide turn on a bike)

Sky Sports this weekend. Apparently there is only one game on this weekend but on Monday. Red Monday. Liverpool v Man Utd Klopp v Mourinho Liverpool v Man Utd Klopp v Mourinho Liverpool v Man Utd Klopp v Mourinho Liverpool v Man Utd Klopp v Mourinho Liverpool v Man Utd Klopp v Mourinho Liverpool v Man Utd Klopp v Mourinho Liverpool v Man Utd Klopp v Mourinho Liverpool v Man Utd Klopp v Mourinho Liverpool v Man Utd Klopp v Mourinho Liverpool v Man Utd Klopp v Mourinho Liverpool v Man Utd Klopp v Mourinho Liverpool v Man Utd Klopp v Mourinho etc for days.

F*ck off.

Red monday - **** off indeed

What is this obsession with pulling suitcases around on those stupid extendible handles, especially on crowded train station concourses where they are a bloody menace? You see 16 stone units wheeling around a tiny air hostess style suitcase...what's wrong with carrying the bloody things?

Agreed. Theses people are taking the space of at least 2 normal people . And with crowding being what it is on London stations, that is a disgrace.

I'm glad that others also don't care about the game. Hate them both.

It's just another game like every other during the season. It does not need over a weeks build up.

This is almost as bad as women with huge shoulder bags in confined spaces on trains who have no idea that they are taking up double the space as normal people and whack you in the face if you are unlucky enough to be sitting beside them.
Have to say there are an equal amount of men wearing huge backpacks who don't have the sense to take them off when standing on trains

I don't hate them but all I'm worried about is the Palace game, don't give a toss about the celebrity match up managers.

I don't understand these people who take tons of bags with them to work everyday.

I don't even like carrying a carrier bag or umbrella on my commute but you see the same people at the train station or getting on the tube with a massive backpack, shoulder bag or handbag, and 2-3 carrier bags full of shite.

Scam 'Microsoft support' callers. Is there any way you can turn the tables on them? I normally just put the phone down but I just took one and I jumped up thinking one of the kids must be in trouble phoning the house phone early on Saturday. I told him he was criminal scum and that I could understand if he had to feed his children but he could just fvck off. Not my finest moment but I've been very short of sleep recently.

Maybe they are going away somewhere after work, or to the gym/do some sport. Maybe they have to run their errands in the city as they can't do them in their home town.

People carrying bags on trains isn't annoying, it's normal life.

people disrespecting putin and russia

give it a rest just because its america's nemesis doesn't make it mine and lets be honest NATO increasing influence and weaponry pointed at russia is unreasonable by anyone's definition

If somebody was in all the time, there would very rarely be the need to record at all.

'You see 16 stone units wheeling around a tiny air hostess style suitcase'......

Yeah, its wheely bad.

Bikers who want to take every single item they own in the ******* world with them in their huge **** off panniers and still try and filter to the detriment of everyone else.

Wankers.

The X Factor and the b******* spouted by the panel of judge's. Average singers being told they are budding superstars. Then there is Honey G who is just a poor pop rapper who has no charisma is a one trick pon and it seems the panel love her and sadly it seems the public do. They are doing motown tonight and Honey F***** G Just did a rap spelling out her name again and again with a motown song in the background. It annoys me that do many talentless people become STARS. What is wrong with you Britain? We made stars out of Jedward Joey Essex and Jade Goody (RIP) All of whom have/had a combined IQ of 6

I'm convinced you could recycle Sharon Osborne into approximately 54 1L Coke Bottles and 331 nappy bags.

Looks like it won't be long before Ozzy is the more compos mentis half of the couple...

Clive Allen.

Or compost!

The morning after a shite performance and defeat.
Spoils my whole feckin weekend

Bastards

Not just the proper morning after, I had a miserable piss at 3am. When we win I actually get out of bed to do it.

:D

Red Monday - Seriously **** off. The biggest mid table clash since Stoke played West Brom. *****.

Garth Crooks.

This week he believes in time travel:

They even have a countdown clock for it :rolleyes:

He is a waste of skin. To have someone who was sent off in his team of the week is just mental.

Hope it gets rained off & they'll have to start all that massive build-up again. But even bigger of course because of the ANTICIPATION & almost constant wetting of knickers & gnashing of teeth by frustrated fans & media.

Oh FFS. Please let it be the shittiest 0-0 draw in history.

Waste of space Malteser headed c*nt.

The convergence of breakfast cereals and confectionary bars. I mean, what fukkhead invented Lion bar breakfast cereal ?

Stopped watching it and similar shows (apart from the Jungle one) a few years ago and I don't miss it at all, what a load of shite

New 12v hands free kit draining my battery while I'm working out in the sticks. Jump leads too short as battery is located underneath excelerator and van parked driver side next to a hedge.

An extremely rich fvuckhead

Went to an ice cream shop in Bright*n yesterday......one of their ice creams was made with cereal milk.

Make of it what you will.