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Another 7:20 turn out
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The over acting of Matt Dawson and Phil Tufnell on QOS. There is not way they care hat much about the result of a 2 bit quiz. They ham it up far too much. cringe City
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I really don't like "cuppa tea" instead of plain old "cuppa". It's a given that the word "tea" is there in the original abbreviation.
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Geezer I work with sings all day, which is annoyng enough, but he keeps on getting the words wrong.
In the past 10 mins I've been treated to 'Whoa Bim-Bam, Bam-ba-Lam' (Black Betty) and the Lionel Richie classic, Hey You Hey Me |
Not knowing enough Suzanne Vega lyrics.
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Especially to sing at work.
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The way bands songs are on 'auto-repeat' in my head.
At the moment it's Dire Straits "Brothers in Arms", Can't get rid of the fecker. I have a love of hard raaawwwkk, so this blights my life. Significantly. I also had a dream last night about my brother, who had to go on a trip to Nepal for work purposes in 1985/6. He had a ticket for the "Brothers in Arms" tour at Wembley arena,...which went unused. |
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Hotels where the plug sockets don't take normal size plugs preventing you charging your phone whilst having a wank
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Booking Fees and Service Charges. I don't pay them
Calls from international call centres. herrow ? goodbye |
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Hey civil e - 'Hotels where the plug sockets don't take normal size plugs preventing you charging your phone whilst having a wank'
Answer:Take a spare battery charger with you & you can watch all the internet porn you want on your 'hands-free' phone! Have a nice day now! |
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Probably been said a dozen times over, but when you go into a cafe or restaurant on your own, and there's one table free. You queue up only for some (normally obese) family to come in and head straight for the free table. Then just sit there, not even ordering
Thank you very much fat beardy guy in the yellow anorak in Caffè Nero Beckenham |
Being the only person in the office on a Saturday.
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It's an old one often repeated, but bloody carry on luggage strikes again.
How can I be in Group 1 boarding and all overhead bins around where I'm sitting are full? I've noticed people who sit near the back and board either Priority or Group 1 have started putting their overhead bags nearer the front as they board so they can pick them up as they pass on the way off the plane. Either the planes need a redesign or the rules have to be strictly enforced. I'm all for the later. |
O'Leary has ruined flying for everyone :(
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Matt Barbet - smug
Nancy Dell'Olio why is she still in the public eye? |
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Alanis Morissette. Thanks silence and then continues to release her f*cking awful albums. Piss off, Alanis. And am I the only person who wants to punch James Corden in the face? |
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Bergkamp knew [emoji4] |
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This whole scenario confuses me most on long haul flights. |
Mark Hughes & Steve Bruce. Make me puce & puke!
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Insomnia
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Oversleeping.
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Most of the other budget airlines don't, so you get these assholes with gigantic carry on bags taking up all the room, and as the poster above said, because you are someone who actually follows them, you get punished and have to put it under your seat. |
Ready meals that only be microwaved
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Ready meals that can't be microwaved
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Country drivers
People driving on unlit country roads with their Main beam on, ignorant of the fact they are blinding oncoming drivers who are unable to see the ****** road, so therefore have to slam the brakes. You can see the shimmer of headlights before you even see the car coming towards you, and that is the point you should switch to Dipped headlights. Coz when the ignorant thwats wait until they see you, that first 2 or 3 seconds before they 'dip' is the time you end up driving into a ditch coz you can see fck all. Some **** also did a hit and run on my parked van before Christmas. Some other **** took my off-side wing mirror off last week, driving towards me on my side of the road,...and didn't stop Yocals: Putting the '****' in 'country drivers' |
OUR fans swearing at OUR players on websites
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Ready meals
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Meals that you physically have to put effort and time into preparing
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the possibility of relegation. It shouldn't really, as it happens so often with us
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People that don't indicate at roundabouts. Just drift across the exits, relying on your Jedi powers to anticipate their moves!
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Getting this one in early:
Transfer deadline day |
Robbie Savage doing the FA Cup draw,actually Robbie Savage,full stop.
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Talksport will be looking back at the 2011 transfer window in a minute. Desperate
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Radio playlists. I can understand the reason for having them on commercial stations, they get paid to promote artists but why do the BBC need them? I listen to 6Music quite a lot, great station, good mix of musical styles but ******* hell their set playlists leave a lot to be desired. I stopped listening to commercial radio because of the ******* go compare ads, some of the playlist tunes on 6 seem to be on just as often and are just as annoying.
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Brain-dead French-Morroccan/Algerian moronic tourists revving hired BIG BIKES & racing up & down all night. Hope their hols or lives end soon :jerkit:
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"I watched <film> and it was rubbish. That's two hours of my life I'll never get back"
Chuck a sickie. Time back plus credit - sorted. |
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On the subject of radio tunes.
We woke up this morning to the radio alarm playing Sunny & Cher's 'I got you babe'. It was like Groundhog Day all over again. |
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Cold phone calls and the rude ******* (choose expletive of choice) that make them. Had my umpteenth call from an energy solutions company and politely thanked them for the call but explained I have had the house renovated and dealt with the energy solutions and need no further help.
He just ignored that and started to say well I am no ringing for that I am ringing about your solar panels. So I repeated. OK but I really don't need any further help with my solar panels or my energy solutions thank you. So he now gets a stroppy voice on and starts again, so I interrupted him and said that I had tried to politely explain twice now that I don't need anything from him. He interrupts me once again and now very upset with me and tells me that I am not listening to what he is saying. At this point I said, I tell you what, I tried but just **** off. I know that he is trying to earn a living and I am sure my final response wasn't great but WTF am I supposed to do - say OK then why don't I stop what I am doing and you tell me all about it. Thankfully he had a number and so I have whacked that onto my BT junk divert list. |
My cat, stuffs it face full of food and runs off to puke - entire ground floor is either wood or tiled except for one small and rather expensive rug. go figure
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My cat who despite living rent free, getting free food and having the run of the house still hates me.
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5live and Talksport doing commentary of the same game
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Cats.What's the point.
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Shoe laces. Despite the double knot you tie in the morning they spend the whole working day trying to untie themselves, then when you return home from work and you try to remove your shoes in a darkened hallway, they turn themselves into a sailor's knot used to berth aircraft carriers to a jetty.
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Buying what I thought was a choc chip cookie only to find it was raisin.
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The numericals on a computer being in a different configuration to that on you phone. Who did that you barsterd.
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when they decide from very early on that you're their fave human in the house :sunglasses: |
Beyoncé. You're pregnant. Well done.
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The fact that I just discovered that Beyoncé is already programmed in to predictive text. Ffs.
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Scenario A. I get up for work most mornings about 6am. Wife doesn't need to get up until 7ish so I pad into the bathroom, quietly close the door and proceed with the morning ablutions. I then return to the bedroom and get dressed in the dark with just the small light from the bathroom to guide me. Wardrobes and draws are shut slowly and quietly and inmake why way down stairs, feed the cat and I'm on my way. Everyone continues to sleep soundly while i make my way up the M1 to work
Scenario B. I have a rare day working from home. I advise my darling wife the night before of said rare opportunity and that I'm really quite looking forward to having a bit of a lie in especially as I was up at half 5 and not back till 8 on Thursday. So, at precisely 6.15 my wife's alarm goes off. She's decided that today she is going to go for a run before she has her breakfast. Her side light, the full bathroom light are fully on. Drawers and slammed and wardrobes banged off thei feckin hinges. Thankfully this only lasts 10 minutes and then she's gone. I fall back into a blissful sleep dreaming of Bentekes goal on Tuesday and the tidy bird from work. 20 minutes this bliss lasts before I am startled and brought back to conciousness by what I can only assume is a St Bernard dog panting and gasping for breath. My one half opened eye reveals my beautiful bride of 18 years almost dying having competed her 1.3 mile marathon. The lights are on again now and the bathroom door wide open as she begins her ablustions which last precisely 4 times longer than mine. The dustbin lids are now awake and piling in for hairbrushes, make up, hair bands etc. The chat is at full bore and my head is firmly stuck under my pillow. And then quiet. The kids have gone to school and it's just the wife downstairs getting ready for work and having her breakfast. I drift in the blissful peace. And then a Boeing 747 lands on the house and brings me back to this awful place. What, it's not a plane ? No, it's her feckin Nutri feckin bastard Ninja blender thing, making the concoction of the day. It slows and its quiet again. I start to drift again and faintly hear the front door open and know now that's it's only seconds before I'm on my own and can go back to the tidy bird in the office. 'CAN YOU FEED THE CAT DARLING PLEASE' comes the screech. I'm fully awake now I wish I'd gone to ******* work |
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My wife phoning to to tell me while I am stuck at work she is having her car washed and then going to have her nails done. Hard life.
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people who can't read and digest anything longer than a twitter message
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Great post Worksop.
Women. Generally they are ******* annoying. As are cats. |
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Haha - wonderful story! [emoji23] |
People who park their petrol/diesel cars in front of electric car charging points despite big signs saying plug in cars only. Yes I know, first world problems and all that but if you're low on juice it is fairly annoying.
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They should make the lead long enough so that you can box them in. |
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are you the croydon cat killer? oh i hate cats too still car drivers on phones for me i ride a motorcycle every day the wander all over the road lost in thier texting its just so dangerous |
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Sinks in hotels that don't drain the water faster than it's going in.
What kind of shit is lurking in the plumbing to slow down water? |
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But still, :D :p |
coming home ravenous after the match looking forward to eating half a cow - and the wife serves wholemeal pasta in a pesto sauce with toasted effing pinenuts
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The Arthur Wait. Get there at 2.30 and you finally get in at 2.45; then it takes forever to get out at the end of the game.
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People that take every opportunity to slag off Cabaye. **** off.
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Bit harsh on cabaye Sean.
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GF trying to cheer me up (watching Palace lose again)by stuffing hot chestnuts in my mouth when I'm drinking BEER.
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