No need to say that Pete.

This guy was a complete twat.

Any advert on television that involves men wearing women's underwear.
I know John Cleese needs the cash as he has not been funny for about 30 years, but the advert where he wears a stocking over his head is a particular shocker.

Partial eclipse of the sun today in Santiago (about 70%)

Literally not even the slightest hint of a cloud in the sky since mid December and today....?

yes, you guessed it

:wallbash:

Over security on Bank websites.

Latest one today... went to view a scan of a cheque only to find out I have to be sent a identification code to view it.

Crazy!

beginning in Jan this year two finance websites: US Bank for my old mortgage and Optum Health (my HSA) changed their websites so that you can only view them if you're (or your IP address) is in the US. I mention the IP address as this is SO easy to get round if you're even only a half-hearted criminal that it's a joke and simply just another inconvenience in the name of security.

If they ever legislate again this sort of behaviour and decide on a suitable punishment such as death, may I put myself forward as willing to carry out parliament's wishes for free.

Nobby excepted.

LOL

It's why I gave up on first direct. They had a new secure key that needed yet another password and another pin to remembering top of the first two. I just couldn't add any more with all my credit and debit card pins so this was the final straw.

Absolutely stonking gorgeous, green-eyed, long black-haired, doll faced beauty giving me the eye and a massive smile.

That annoys you? :eek:

It wouldn't if I were twenty five years younger and free and single :)

She was only about 21

I think I just saw him on the red carpet in his claret and blue retro Palace shirt.

Looked good with the bow tie.

Prossie

The Oscars being forced down our throats, in face the whole awards season.

I was cutting the hedge and this little shitbag dog and its owner came up. The dog then pissed on the clippings. I complained to the owner saying that I had to tidy those up he said there isn't much piss in him with a stupid bemused look. Well you tidy them up then. :wallbash:
Keep your bloody dog to yourself.

Did you take a photo?

This banking security doesn't seem to apply to fraudsters and money launderers.

I think she might have been as well.

Would have been a bit weird as she was behind a shop counter. So yes i did.

Looked very much like the suicidal chick in Linkin Park's 'Crawling' video but a bit curvier and a bit prettier than her.

Annoying

Will be reading the 'how much have you spent today' thread with interest ;)

Not going near the place even though I have a stonking cold, it's a chemist's, or next it'll be a male menopausal ponytail and Harley-Davidson on the menu and I can't be having that.

:) She might prefer the older man, you never know. Either that or she was smiling at your tongue on the floor. Just go in and ask her about penis reduction operation advice leaflets.

Go in and buy some condoms... and viagra

I'm checking my family tree.

Are you really that keen to score 2 out of 2?

Indiscriminate use of the word genre

The club charging £20 for two lost season tickets. Wallets get lost etc but most companies don't charge that much for lost cards.

:D

Liverpool FC

At the ticket barrier when your ticket doesn't work, so rather than going to get help, just continue to insert it / swipe it only to receive the same error message again and again holding up everyone else.

Despite it having been a social convention for years, people who still stand 2 abreast on an escalator on the tube.

Sky TV moving the Arsenal game to a Monday night therefore rendering my booked weekend in the UK Palace free. *****

The sound of pouring water. In quiet showroom and someone else waiting starts sorting themselves a hot drink. I just wanted to hurt them during the pouring process. Left it at a dirty look in the end.

People slurping hot drinks and making an exaggerated aghhhhhhh noise after every f*cking sip. :veryangry

Desperately slow walkers who drift across the path so you don't know which side to get passed them.

When I'm pushing my disabled nephew I enjoy smashing his wheelchair in to their ankles. Very therapeutic.

Went to my local barbers, bright n early, one other person waiting. Unfortunately he was a bearded hipster who wanted the full Monty doing, trimming, plucking, tweezing ffs if I hadn't wanted a haircut when I went in!!
Full set w....r!!!!

Slow walkers who walk right in the middle of relatively narrow passageways where if they stood to one side or the other people could pass easily.

The timed levels in candy crush saga.

See also whole families walking side by side, sometimes even all holding hands. :wallbash:

The passageway to get into Victoria Station between Superdrug and Starbucks at rush hour is renowned for this :veryangry

That entrance to LV is div central. I'm just about to negotiate it now

And iconic.

And narrative.

And eclectic

'Must see'.

Harry Hill

Regular announcements at King's Cross that 'vagrants operate in this area, please don't encourage them'. Should we really be demonising homeless people in this way? Are we becoming Trump's America already?

My friend gave a lift to Harry Hill and his young daughter a few years ago. A real top man. He arranged for my friend to have free tickets to TV Burp.

Good call.

Jamie Vardi.

seconded albeit vardy

Tickets are free anyway.

Yes, but there is a long waiting list.
I was driving a train, it got cancelled... Harry was on it, I asked him where he was going... I knew a colleague was driving home that way, so asked him to give HH a lift (he was dropping presents off at his mums). When he got out the car, he gave a business card to my mate and said call this number in 10 mins. When my friend phoned the number some bloke had arranged for tickets to tv burp.

My mate said he'd phone back with some dates... but never bothered.

His mum lives in a lovely house, and anyone who travels to Bexhill by train will pass it. (Graham Norton has a house there as well)

And that annoys you?

Must be annoysy house

When I went a good fw years ago, we applied for 4 tickets, and got them for a few days later. And it was shit.

Kids watching other kids on You Tube playing video games......what the ****?!

My train got cancelled last night. As I'm only a minor celebrity no train driver offered to arrange a lift home for me. It was Shrove Tuesday and I didn't get to eat pancakes with my kids before they went to bed. Instead I had to eat pancakes all by myself topped with lemon, sugar and lonely tears.

So for the purposes of this thread, Southeastern and 'celebrities' getting benefits because they are 'celebrities' and bollox to the proles.

Selhurst Celtic - 'So for the purposes of this thread, Southeastern and 'celebrities' getting benefits because they are 'celebrities' and bollox to the proles.'

Same as Premier League 'celebrity' teams getting benefits & bollox to the teams of proles!
(eg:See Manure)

Propaganda

Fat people taking up two seats on the train.

Come watch Dulwich Hamlet vs Lowestoft instead.

Is that when a cockney has a really, really good look at something?

Powercuts, had one for over an hour last night, it was like being back in the 70.s.

Pronunciation of Buoy as Boo'wee

Food that doesn't contain meat.

No excuse for not doing your homework.

Things that annoy you
 

Said it before and will saying it again. The continuous need to people to have a pop or slate the team/club on social media official sites like Facebook. There's so much light hearted pictures and smiles been shown about which obviously makes everyone feel a little better about things, especially after a much needed win and yet they're still out with the likes:

Stop smiling and concentrate on winning.
Enough of this PR crap.
Shouldn't they be training?
We're/( insert player) is crap!

So tiresome and so unnecessary and monotonous.

I know I sound like HDeagle but why would anyone write stuff like that?

The internet is a wonderful thing but has given a voice for sad-sacks who previously had no platform. I am as critical as the next person but in a season like this if you cant be happy and enjoy it when we win what is the point ?

I agree. If people are really like this in real life or at games then they should just give up supporting Palace as clearly they will never be pleased. I can't work out whether they truly believe all they write or like the fact that their view/name can be seen across the world by anyone that has liked the CPFC site from all angles of the globe. Thankfully the media team never respond but occasionally I would love for them to delete and block these trolls. I'm sure it happens on all football club's media pages though.

Patronisingly starting a sentence with: "Im sorry but..."

You are not sorry, people dont need your sorry, just say what you are going to say.

When a Brighton fan goes to you 'Your brave living down here aren't you'? I have had it loads through the years but never had any trouble. **** OFF!

Yep, feeling your pain. Why do people assume Sussex is all Brighton? Growing up in the north of the county, Brighton could have been in another country as far as I was concerned.
And SE25 was nearer to my home than the Goldstone - so Palace were my local team.

Going to spend the afternoon at Boxpark, coming?

Always seemed an innocuous little band to me. :confused::clown:

You wait until you get your head stuck between some railings down there, young man.

Other than living away during my uni days I have lived all my life in Sussex (Crawley). During this time it was very rare to see any Brighton fans at all until the last few years.

Do you still pretend it happens to you?

Brave :lux::supergrin: Kin hell...yeah they're such a scary bunch.

Not this this week anyway, though. All gone back to supporting their proper teams so you're safe

By accident? Yes.

Selhurst 'Leisure Centre' Celtic.

God Squadders - got one next to me today, said he would pray for me as I have a cold.
WTF !!!

Tell him you got full blown AIDs, and you got it by bumming monkeys.

Should have shook his hand ;)

I wear a badge explaining that already.

Short queues at the escalators to get to the walking on the left part when on the tube and someone can't be bothered to join the back so marches right the way to the front to cut in.

People getting off a packed rush hour tube and don't know which way to walk but instead stands right in the doorway looking at signs when about 20 people behind them are also trying to get off.

Walking alongside someone going at a similar pace but they have to turn to go a different direction and rather that allow you to continue at your normal stride and slow down to turn behind you they decide to turn right into your path forcing you to come to a complete halt.

When the reach the top/bottom of a escalator and it goes flat someone not bothering to walk it and insists on standing right until the escalator ends.

Platforms 15-19 at Victoria Station and no one seems to walk on the left as you approach/leave the barriers.

The news still droning on about the Oscar mix up. Who cares? The bloke gave out the wrong envelope,that's all,no one died!

I do that. I just love the magic of moving stairs and want to get the most from the experience. There's something special about gliding up to the get off point!

Sorry

:)

Do you lift your toes up so you get the full slide effect?

This week - Thursday to be exact = first sessions of football training for the kids for their winter comp that starts at the beginning of April.

On Wednesday it pisses down, then again on Thursday morning, so I call the council wet weather line, because they are anal down here about closing grounds at the merest whiff of rain. Sure enough there's some smug bastard's recorded message: "As of 3pm on Thursday 2nd March, all grounds are closed for training, but only for all codes of football." WTF? So if we were training for mud wrestling to churn the pitch up it'll be fine, but obviously all the 8-10 year olds, wearing only trainers because they're not allowed to wear boots until April anyway, will clearly destroy the pitch.

Once council closes the grounds we're not allowed to use them, the club gets fined blah blah. So I took my son for a kickabout there, we both wore football boots (my pathetic little protest), the sun was shining, the grass was newly cut, and the ground was dry. It was perfect for football, in fact.

Council = idiots.

Some no marks have sent the accountants death threats via social media though.

Another morning poo.

You could be living in he Sutherland shire.

The club shop offering a 'sale' on shirts for £30 that ended last week, only to then start flogging the shirts for £20 or 2 for £30 less than a week later

Zoe "mid life crisis" Ball...

Night time closures if motorways/ a roads - yesterday I was in reading and avoided the m3 as I knew there was a night tone closure so took the m25 and a3 back home. 2 sections of the m4 down to 1 lane leading to queues - 2 sections of m24 down to 1 lane causing more queues and the a3 closed at tolworth leading to a huge jam at the tolworth roundabout. Understand the need for roadworks but so many in a relatively short distance [emoji35]

I am getting older. There is too much that annoys me about modern life that would make me have to take several days and many, many posts to fit it all in.

Hopefully, I'll be dead soon. And perchance, taking some scum with me

I feel you need a change of career. Something a bit closer to home maybe.

Someone walking at the same pace in front of you then stops dead to look at their phone. Turned to see who the miscreant was and found that it was Diane Abbott.