.

Listening to the not-so-dulcet tones of a group of students murdering 'Don't Look Back In Anger' from a neighbouring block and then realising you were younger than them when it first came out :(

Dodgy bent women refs.

Things that annoy you
 

Corporate events.


I must be allergic as i have spent the best part of the last 3 hours wanting to headbutt every **** in sight.

Was supposed to be an all day event but i had to walk out (again)

I'm aright just sitting there pretending to give a ****, but out of nowhere they sprung a "workshop" on us.

"Just come up with ideas, man. Think of ways you can improve companies brand and the customer experience" sigh.

Bear in mind im sitting at a round table with 8 other bellends all desperate to get a taste of that corporate phallus. Anyway, there's some poncey graduate cockend doing the rounds to give guidance. Comes to me "oh, you haven't written anything"


"Fresh out of ideas pal. What a shitter"

"Oh well you better write something soon as next up we have to draw your headline and put the idea on a flip chart."

Get ****ed. See you later.


*****.

Corporate events - good call. We have a quarterly meeting - now entitled a "Town hall". Most of the big banks do that kind of thing these days. Awful waste of time. Arseholes talking about "synergy" , "agile working", "corporate responsibility", "business profile".

People who don't turn up.

Regularly tradesmen, but this week... my boss, who I've flown to Zurich to meet with and who is AWOL. Super.

:D:D

Not so much an annoyance, but not sure where to put it.... just found out someone I've known almost 30 years has terminal cancer.

Cancer is a ****.

:(

:(

Sorry to hear that.

Perhaps he's with your wife's cousin

Very sorry to hear that.
Cancer is an indiscriminate horrible ****, in fact it is total ******* ****

Why have you assumed my boss is a man?

I agree on the corporate days. Had one recently at the place I teach. It was a day out of Santiago - but it did include two or three obligatory workshop activities.

What gets me is that a week later it is all forgotten. Doesnt make a blind bit of difference to your standing and promotion prospects. The same cnuts in charge, still carry on as before.

I gave a presentation in broken Spanish to 300 people as the only non/Chilean in the room. I nailed the fecker with great applause. Doesnt stop me getting fired and rehired at the end of this semester, like every one of the last 13 years.

Next time, write a suggestion that your company saves money by cancelling corporate events like this.

So that you don't come across as unhelpful etc, suggest something else like monthly or regional 2-3 hour meetings for brainstorming ideas (agenda to be emailed in advance to provide thinking time).

That way your company saves on hiring a venue, a company to run the event, catering costs, maybe overnight accommodation costs and maybe some travel costs. It also saves on the hidden cost of you all being away from your jobs for the day.

If some moan, you might need to challenge them to come up with an example of an innovation your company developed at a corporate Day that couldn't also have been sprung from an in-house meeting.

The new lotto adverts.

Who cares what these plebs would spend their money on ? Such boring, dull answers.

Prefer if someone came on and said "I'd go to work in a limo (not hired), pished on top quality champagne, waltz in and tell everyone they're sacked, 'cos I've just bought the company".

Very annoying - I prefer the spoof here

(mainly because its shorter!)

Thats true, I hope you have reported him.for his implied sexism

His beard?

Of course. It disgusted me.

I've never worked for Maz.

The pay by phone parking app promising to provide an 'optimal parking experience'. *****

Just listened to 5 Live for a bit this afternoon presented by someone called Nihal. I thought I tuned into a kids' programme. Absolute drivel

**** all that. I tolerate their bollocks because i'm quite happy noncing the **** out of some fitty chatting shit about synergy, deep dives and work streams.

The minute they want some sort of engagement or feedback i'm in trouble. I don't do well in teams of strangers and i'm not particularly interested in contributing to their shit ideas. :D

Me !

Thought I knew more than a mechanic after a big job, told him I did not need the part on back order as the truck was working fine, got the refund and forgot all about it.

Took the truck to the dealer instead of the mechanic today (4 months later) with a problem, forgot about the problem above and it took them 6 fecking hrs to tell me it was the same problem costing me three to four times the amount....:D What a div !

Yesterday I called my dental insurance company and got the usual robotic answer. After three attempts to get a real person, I answered their "please state your birth date" message by mumbling so they had to ask me to repeat three more times. Finally the robot gave up and put me thru to a real person!

He's an imbecile & no mistake. His 'down wiv da kidz' Essex-ness is cringeworthy.

Were you mumbling through your lack of teeth or has your mouth shrunk and you need a new set of dentures.

100%

Typical BBC sycophantic bollocks

Acute lower back pain leaving me unable to dress fully or wipe my arse. Sick of it now.:veryangry

Threads with a number in front.. 1) who even puts the bracket there these days? Surely it should be 1.

I think it is they are never in the right order.

People who leave out words in a sentence.... ;)

Oh yes!

'Who's going City this weekend?' :veryangry

Feckin pernickety mods. What a bunch of

;)

I was just looking at the reviews for a hotel we stayed in last week, and some guy was bitching that security came and told them they were making too much noise at 10:00pm... and we paid a lot of money and had some "executives" in our party who were not impressed.

I just pinged him back...

"We paid a lot of money for our room and didn't appreciate loud and obnoxious “executives” noise ringing out through the facility at 10:00pm. Kudos to the security staff for having the balls to shut you up! You think they were doing their job for fun?"

What a C U Next Tuesday!

Oktoberfests in September.

Girl at work selling Christmas Wrapping Paper at work today for her kids money making scheme or whatever it was.

Buy some and wrap up the Easter egg that will be on sale next week.....

Did I miss Halloween?

:D

It'll be all Halloween stuff at at the moment right? I don't miss walking into virtually any store seeing it bedecked in orange and everything smelling of a false chemically cinnamon stench.

Starbucks?

Christmas cards on sale already in the local supermarket, obviously for those wishing to catch the last posting date for Jupiter and beyond.

pumpkin spice


(sounds of retching)

Or your next door neighbour...

Never touched it... but I hear it is a big deal.

Yep. And the boozerama is so full of pumpkin ale you can't find the Capt. Lawrence or the absinthe.

American Postal Service and Coreos de Chile combined to deliver a letter to me a couple of weeks ago that was originally posted in early Feb. A tremendous effort that I really should congratulate them for. What a team.

Good excuse to go down the LRT I would have thought

Been there, done that... except for the Chile bit obviously.

I think the slow boat to China ran aground in the Falklands, only to be rescued by a team of mermaids over dressed because of the cold waters.

Google DDP Yoga

It was very late for me... I actually agree with you!

The only upside to Christmas shit, is that I bought some Stollen yesterday.

Really? I just took mine. Boom boom!

In Sainsburys just now they were playing an advert saying "new year, new you" :wallbash::wallbash::wallbash:

Halloween is pretty big in Chile CT. Maybe not in the exclusive condos where you live - but in the poor tenements where the recent immigrants from poor countries have to dwell.

In my street it is 80% groups of kids from Ecuador, Peru, Colombia and now Haiti.

I don't mind it TBF. The kids get dressed up and have fun - and there's no 'trick' element. And it's little kids.

The big kids go to gothic parties - usually at the racecourse or at 80s disco Blondie. And their matrix/vampire costumes are stunning.

I don't mind that bit (so much), it's the over commercialization of it in the US and the horrible stench that goes with it.

The treatment of the old.
This really annoyed me last night. We have two nieghbours both in their 90's been married for 70 plus years....Both struggle walking but are fiercely independent. He still drives so they get out shopping once a week at least.
All well and good the rest of us in the close keep an eye out sort things they need doing.
Any way the guy went to see the nieghbour we were having a drink with last night tells him he has picked up a parking fine for 70 quid what should he do. Turns out went shopping in local Aldis spent just short of two hours shopping and got a fine becausehe limit is
Ninety minutes......
Well bless me the pair are disabled she walks with two sticks would take her that time to do shopping . There is nothing but a railway station close by so they were only in the Aldi store.
He had already complained to manager whose response was nothing to do with me guv ....write to parking company... letter on its way nieghbour helped him write it.
Just pissed me off ....ffs treat the old infirm with the respect dignity you would want for you aged relatives...

I get your annoyance but to be fair the parking company wouldn't have known the circumstances

That said I doubt they will be overly sympathetic when they receive the letter. Best thing to do is just ignore it. They'll send 4 or 5 letters threatening stuff and then go away. Appreciate that wouldn't be suitable for an elderly person though

:)

Colleagues at work who keep telling me how much holidays they have left this year.

Why don't they also tell me how much their house is worth or what university their kids go to as I'm really interested.

Toilets with 2 types of flush. What's the point, does anyone ever use the small flush?

people with dwarfism hands.

Having to go too the local shop to pick up an item I missed yesterday doing the main supermarket shop.

I bet Hennessey has got one

Is a 90 minute time limit normal for an Aldi car park?

I’ve come across many supermarkets that stipulate 3 hours, but 90 mins would be tight for many people, especially if the checkouts are busy.

I’d advise him to keep his shop receipt (as that proves he was in Aldi) whilst the letter is sent.

Does he have a blue badge for his car (sounds like his wife would qualify)? I wonder if they allow more time for those who park in the disabled spots, as 90 mins isn’t that generous for those with reduced mobility.

Strange one on the 90 minutes I agree I notice it when there. She may well qualify for Blue Badge though I am not certain they would apply for one these two are old school independent. It was the managers attitude really but be interesting to see the Parking Companys response.
It will get sorted by the family once they find out they will either pay the fine or sort out the Parking Company.

Must spread :D

I did wonder why they went missing a lot.

Get them to go on one of those Dom Littlewood programmes to fight there case then when he wins it for them can you ask them to tell him how annoying he is.

A LEAGUE OF THEIR OWN - Go boil your heads the lot of you!

Oh and .. THAT's WHY THEY CALL ME THE FARTING MASTER tosser :jerkit:

People on here who delight in moaning about the club on every page of every thread.

You weren't on the BBS before the recssion were you ? :supergrin:

People who delight in moaning about people who delight in moaning about the club.

They sound a great, admirable couple.

But I would still encourage them to get a blue badge, maybe print out some info for them on how to apply?

It could help them to stay independent, as it reduces their walking distance at some destinations and can mean they have a bit more room to open their car doors.

If they were my folks, I’d say put it in your glove box and just use it when you need a bit of extra help. They were proud too and would have been minimal users.

Channel 4 player on a Samsung tv. F*cking useless.

Last night we went for a meal with some old friends over from England.

A wine was picked from the very extensive wine list that cost $45 (there was a cheaper one at $42). After about 20 minutes the waiter comes back with a different bottle saying they were out of the one we had chosen, but his manager suggested the one he was now presenting. We were just about to say OK, when my wife asked, "So how much is this one?". Waiter says, oh it's about $20 more... $75. My wife asks, "So you will give it to us for $45?". He says he can't do that. We ask for the wine list again and pick another for $50... which tasted just fine.

Where do they come up with this shit... plus "suggesting" some of the most expensive items on the food menu.

Needless to say his tip was not what he "suggested" either. Patronizing bearded ****!

Forget the parking company - contact Aldi customer services directly, explaining the circumstances, and offering to provide proof of purchase, letting them know they are regular customers and love Aldi. Worked for me.

The word Family now being abbreviated to "Fam"
Are 3 syllables really too much now for the wonderful under 25s of this country...?

Hey, don't diss dem under-25's

Y

Bus drivers waving at each other every fecking time they pass each other. Get a fecking grip.

Football club Chairman or owners writing regularly in their clubs programme.

Us Motorcyclists also nod to each other. :hi:

Brighton winning
The fact that Thomsons has become TUI
The switching bank accounts ad that uses The Theme From Shaft

Who issues the fine, and what happens if you don't pay it?

70 notes for overstaying in a supermarket car park - where do they get off on that one. First there shouldn't be a limit less than say 6 hours, and a fine should be no more than a fiver or tener..

Do you all just accept this shite in the UK these days? In a lot of cases you are fairly burly, salt of the earth, football supporters - probably with the kind of wives that don't usually accept shite. But supermarkets are fining people 70 notes for overstaying in their car parks - when you're already spending more money in their stores. How the hell is the world ending up like this?

As I understand it, the issue for the stores is that drivers use their car parks with no intention of shopping in their outlets. Now, this might be a small percentage of drivers, but I sort of get their point, though the 'fines' are excessive. Drivers shouldn't reasonably be expected to pay more than a standard car park fee, and then only if proven not to have shopped in their store or overstayed for an extended period. Aldi quickly got the the parking enforcement company to rescind my fine when I contacted their customer services directly.

And:
Famjam
Famalam

I mean, you're basically just a very very strange ****.

Yep, I get that. In some places a convenient place to park for the commute - see Purley's Tesco. Yep, the production of a shopping receipt should be an automatic rescind. I bet it isn't with some jobsworths though.

Saxon not getting the promised photos up of his wife's cousin rolled in flour and pouting with at least 3 BBSers finishing off on her titties.

Blimey, I got a slight twitch typing that - that's bad.

Had a couple of Jehovah Witnesses come to the door today (I felt like saying, it's Sunday shouldn't you be in church?).

Looked like a couple of used car salesmen all booted and suited.

To be fair, they just left me a pamphlet, and said I should read it when I had time. Didn't push any religion on me.

Still made my skin crawl though.

They're actually signalling to each other about stuff going on up and down the route.

Penstone Eagle, who in such a sea of misery and despair that we are all currently suffering with, is there whispering in the ear of anybody and everybody even more great big dollops of negativity.

:D

I think overly moaning about Palace/football can be a manifestation of deeper problems in someone's life. I get the feeling he is having a rough time personally.

Just a theory.

Raggedy arse wankers that don't wear trainers in the gym. No one wants your socks over all the gear you grim *****

Open the door naked, that'll get rid of them.

Wow. I guess you're oop north ?

Women who seem to have those massive handbags that are 4-5 times bigger than normal handbags and then proceed to spend the entire 20 minute journey from East Croydon to Victoria or London Bridge rummaging around in them trying to find a pen or something.

Ahhh so that's what he was telling me this morning "Wanker ahead"

Nah, it would be too cold to open the door naked then...

Whooooaaahhh there.....

Hey I need to know where people go to the gym without any footwear :p

Can't help you there fella. Never been in a gym

Do my exercise au natural....