This.

In another note people that walk around the office with no shoes on. Worse still the **** in the gym doing the same thing.

Add the Sky Sport calendar to your Google calendar & get them direct (& updated when they move for TV) to your phone https://calendar.google.com/calendar...=Europe/London

It was all once so simple with the little Croydon Advertiser foldable cardboard giveaway.

I'm sure this happens in The UK in a left turn situation... but I have to explain it as doing a right turn in The US.

Pull up to a junction (either stop sign or traffic light (I know you can't turn left on a red light in The UK)) and look left. There is a car coming, and you um and ah as to whether you should pull out, and err on the side of caution and wait, only for the c u next Tuesday to slow down and turn right into the street you are turning out of - obviously no turn signal.

Totally makes my blood boil, and I make a point of verbally abusing the guy hoping they can lip read. Probably they are so oblivious to their surrounding they think I'm the nutter!

People who hand in shitty assignments for Uni and then act as if they've been personally attacked when they get a shitty mark for it.

Relating to that, victim behaviour. People who think the whole world is against them and everyone else is to blame for their shortcommings.

Freeloaders

Every year, without fail, we receive a Christmas card from my aunt's family in the post, despite her living a mile down the road and the fact we see them every Christmas day.

People who act like a right arse and then justify it by saying its christmas init.

Cheers. Will try that later :p

Racists

C*nts.

The price of screws

tofu

Annoying things

Guests on radio shows who tell the host: 'I've got a funny story about him, i'll tell you off air'.

Cliquey spoilsport wankers.

The daily trip from the Northern line gate to platforms 10-15 at London Bridge during evening rush hour.

A three minute decent into hell through a poorly designed, shit and too-small concourse full of power walking commuters head-down charging at you from every conceivable angle like shoals of furious passive-aggressive fish, round an even shitter and narrower corner with departure boards helpfully placed to ensure that the person just in front of you stops dead at exactly the same point every day and on into an even shitter and narrower still tunnel where there always seems to be group of waddlers four or five abreast moving so slowly that they actually appear to be practicing some kind of linedancing moonwalk.

You need a combination of 360 peripheral vision and the reactions of a Praying Mantis just to make it through the bastard place in time to actually make the bloody train without clattering into anyone or exploding with futile rage.

If I ever sufficiently piss off a Greek God I swear that I am going to end up having to relive having exactly 2 1/2 minutes to make it to platform 15 for the rest of eternity as my punishment.

Excellent rant.

Are we talking about having a shag, paying off a prison officer or DIY?

(please don't let it be the latter :D)

Jose Mourinho.

They're called scousers mate

Shops like Poundland and Card zone are a ******* minefield. You do well to hold onto your shit in places like that when you're not seasoned shopper like me.

I tend to have a blip out in Ikea. Especially in the collection area. I also once tried to be smart and get a double wardrobe in the car rather than paying the outrageous delivery prices. Anyway, one tap of the brakes later and I'm on the phone to auto glass for a replacement windshield.

I'll pay for delivery next time.

TV shows that can't decide what they are.

For example, The One Show tonight. Rod Stewart and Jimmy Carr are the guests. Is it a chat show? Or a comedy? And in the middle of it they, (bizarrely), do a piece on police drones!

Someone called Sean Smith. Involves a P45.

Or wives

Takeaways charging two pound plus for rice

Burger King burgers being so messy and nearly falling out the other end. It's a shame as they're much better than McDonalds

1. You get in a lift on the 21st floor to go down to ground level. It then stops on level 20 for someone else to get in. They then proceed to push button 19. Lazy *****.

2. As above, but when they get in the lift, they then hold the door open so they can finish the conversation they're having with someone standing outside. Get in, shut the **** up, and let's move FFS!!

People who stand at urinals and fart as loudly as possible, before prosecuting said fart until you can virtually hear the bubbles that must soon be on the end of it if they don't stop.

When you break it down per grain it works out quite reasonable.

I was once in a crowded pub toilet when someone did that and then a voice piped up with the thickest Brummy accent I've ever heard saying "You'd better wipe that before it sticks". Lovely stuff.

and chippys and kebaberies charging £2 for a bag of chips, chips should never ever be more than a pound

People on here who simply cannot spell B O L A S I E.

It's really not difficult is it ?

see also the difficulty people have in spelling Fraizer Campbell

Or Steve Parish with ONE 'r', NOT F--KING TWO!! :grrr:

Not having enough time in the day to do things .

Dick heads setting fireworks off in the middle of the night, why wait until 11pm or midnight to do this, it gets dart at 6pm you cnuts

Roy Hodgson and his inability to pick any exciting players for a friendly. IT'S A FRIENDLY FFS.

'Is everything ok with your meal?' Translated as 'tip generously, bastard'

Rest assured, if it wasn't, i'd tell you.

TalkSPORT PredictorShow details

Beat Max Rushden and you could win a signed & framed Eric Cantona photo



The only possible use i can think of for this is on a dartboard.

Toiler paper.

1 - Menu's that are 'sooooo' hip that they decide to omit any sort of designation:

Quinoa and dried goat sick sandwich - 4/

Well.. here are 4 rocks i found on the street ... give me my sandwich.

2 - Places who serve food on a board - I'm a human not a ******* woodlice, put my food on a plate.

Good call. Cantona toilet paper, what a best seller that would be. Better than world leader top trumps in fact. Im going to try and win that photo and take it to andrex.

Forcing people to have fun. Christmas parties at work and the like. Dreadful fecktards.
'Sorry, I'm double booked'. That'll learn them.

It would be a top seller in the South East. Palace fans would gladly smear faecal matter all over that French whore's face, whilst Man Utd fans can mop up their self love with the same. VVankers.

There's two markets covered already. I'm sure they'd sell well in Leeds as well.

I would not have Cantona anywhere near my arse thanks. My shit's too good for him.

When I was in Poland back in April my cousins had toilet paper that had Putin's face on it.

The fact we don't yet have fast walking lanes in London.

I was always taught that Londoners are in a hurry. That we have places to go and things to do. Now everyone ambles everywhere, nose buried in their phone, completely oblivious to their surroundings and how they're going to get to where they're going. What has happened? Hurry the **** up people.

Chinese tourists are the worst. Ambling about the place like aimless zombies.

And yet when you do a bunk from their restaurants they come steaming down the roads faster than Usain Bolt and wielding machetes.

Wrong thread.

I don't know any Chinese tourists who own restaurants in Croydon?

fish + chip shop = restaurant?

All of the Chinese in London are tourists, regardless of whether they were born here or live here or whatever. Tourists. All of them.

People that push the up and down button as they think it will get them where they want to go quicker.

"are you going down?"
No I'm ******* not, you inconsiderate ****.

You could be right. Every Tuesday my local Chinese 'The Village' in Green Lane used to be closed. The lazy bastards were probably all huddled in a group outside Windsor Castle every week whilst someone sharpened their machetes.

I hope you punched them.

:)

People who use air quotes

Some people work shifts.

People complaining about people farting in toilets? Whatever next?

Ignorant tossers on rush hour trains who think their bag deserves a seat of its' own. I always make a point of making them move it so I can sit there.

It's not the act of farting itself, it's the prolonging of it to the point of bubbles bit.

An art I've mastered from years of training. :hi:

Putting stuff at the back of your garage which you knew you'd need but still bloody put ot there anyway. Then burying it with stuff you will never ever need.

BLUE JEANS

ok not such a problem tight on pretty girls

but otherwise - - - get a pair of overalls

BT Sports. Absolute dogshite, could they be more patronising to Bournemouth? The BBC managed it as well last night in the Salford City match

Sellotape, what a pain in the arse they can be when you lose the end.

Like Sellotape, CLINGFILM. Who invented this s**t? Ends get stuck on the roll and can never get the film out without unraveling half the barstard.

Errr, what? What are overalls? Like a plumbers onesie? That's more acceptable over wearing what every other person wears and has done for decades?

Perhaps he's a Dexy's Midnight Runners fan.

yes that's just the problem

get some feckin imagination

Terry Wogan
Jonathan Ross could he be any more pleased with himself?
Chatshows

Leicester City

Cricket scorecards on BBC Text.

Will they EVER grasp the fact that scores/numbers should be RIGHT-ALIGNED??

That poncy 'Who's doing the Dishes' TV 'show'. Just an excuse for a load of nobodies to eat out for about 3 days in some other old has-been's semi-famous person's bungalow. Worse than Constipation St & will probably run for as long unfortunately till ITV come up with a decent idea for a real show. Something unlikely. Switch channels NOW!

The temperature of tomatoes inside a cheese and tomato toastie.

is this is a too hot thing as there is a solution?

Cutting them up first might help. Like biting into the core of the bloody earth :eek:

If you are using a toastie maker you are screwed but using a grill then it's pretty easy, if a bit of a faff.

Toast it inside out. So you prep the two sides of sandwich but don't combine them into one. Put them into under the grill separately with the insides facing the element. Then when the cheese has melted you combine them into one sandwich and toast the outsides (takes say 30 seconds per side at this point). If you add the tomatoes when you combine the two sides into a sandwich then they won't get boiling hot. I like a toasted cheese and piccalilli sandwich and do that to avoid turning the piccalilli into molten lava.

Rupert Murdoch

.

It was a toastie. In a twist of irony i also burnt my lip on a piece on tomato on a margarita pizza rushing out the door later. Bleedin tomato bastards.

Going to the pub on a massive high after another famous Palace victory only to be brought straight back down to earth when you realise there is not a single decent f*cking pub in the whole CR postcode so I may as well just have stayed in!!

People blowing leaves from their driveway all over the road!

I'm so happy youse two have made up :love:

and over a hot tomato too! xxxxxx

Once again, we are all one big, happy Palace family!

Long may it continue!

Must spread.....

Sunglasses being worn on the top of the head is getting out of control now.

It is November FFS, there is no sun.

Guilty as charged, although I do live in sunny Southern California, and I do tend to put them on top of my baseball cap visor when inside. I'm sure the wearing of a baseball cap probably would annoy you also!

Try living in Worthing :D

People who start their sentences, "I'm the kind of person who........"

Only for a change (or sudden gust) of wind to blow them back from whence they came.

Why?

Another Americanism that has found its way into The UK... Baseball caps.

I'm the kind of person who hates the kind of person who starts their sentences with I'm the kind of person who too!

It's not that much of a desert is it?

It's been a few years and I must admit that I was surprised at the number of iconic pubs that are now Tescos or whatever but there must be a few decent ones left surely?

Croham Arms always looks after me and my needs (Guinness and brawling) whenever I find myself in the CR postal code region.

Certainly indoors.