Ashes 2021 - 4-0
 

It is that time again and we need a dedicated thread to discuss this

Pre pandemic I was planning to visit Oz with Barmy Army to watch the Melbourne test but maybe next time.

We did thump them in the World Cup t20

But come test matches I think Australia will be a different beast altogether


Here’s is to a month of cricket festival and it is on BT this time round and I am dreading who will be doing the commentary.

Maybe like football they need to do a fan’s commentary

Wait, what, it’s on BT ? :eek:

That’s me not watching it then.

An interesting series.

Englands chances will depend on how fit Stokes is, but also, if someone else other than Root can put some good runs on the board.
I'm just not sure we have enough bowling to regularly get 20 wickets.

I've little time for Paine, and he's beyond average, so not ideal that he could well be out of the team now.

Bullshit how bt got it, doubt I’ll be watching much unless I go pub

Yeah and Alastair Cook has been promoting it and just listening to him on that has put me off

Unless you’re thinking of going to the pub from midnight until the wee hours or the wee hours until lunchtime, I doubt it !

Warne reckons Paine needs to go and get some fresh blood.

I agree we don’t enough bowlers who can take 20 wickets and apart from Root a batsman who can score big

It is looking promising already haha

Stokes can score big. But he’s been out of action for a long time now. Be surprised if he sets the world on fire this series.

3-1 Aussies

If one player could come out from long term injury and score big, it's Stokes.

Agreed

A lot to ask in an Ashes series in Oz though

I was wondering why Sky weren't plugging it!

Can we take 20 wickets in Perth? Can't see it I'm afraid.

That's really annoying.....I like an early start watching an hour or two of the cricket in the morning......not getting BT just for that though

BT have had all Aussie home games for a while. They also had the last Ashes over there. Viewing figures even worse than Sky’s, which are also dire.

Not sure there will be a Perth Test. They were reluctant to open their borders without a lengthy quarantine and the Premier has been backed by the population by his stance.

Ah okay. I always think the Perth test is the highlight. Even though we always lose...

Might go up this year if there is a chance ‘Vaughany’’ says something naughty.

It's also better viewing from the Northern Hemisphere, only 8 hours difference means its on until 11:00am for us Europeans!

Yes very true

I can’t see we winning any test but 3-1 is better than 5-0

Any chance the games could be played in good spirit? Not necessarily kisses and cuddles all round - but a lack of general twatish-ness would be nice. For example, the taking of a wicket has become way too over-celebrated these days. Hopefully England can set an example after both wickets they'll take on day one at Brisbane.

Perth is the only ground I have ever visited in Australia and it reminded me of Oval, a flat batting pitch. Shame if there is no test there but safety comes first

EFA

It all depends how frequently the wickets are taken I suppose….if the time between wickets is in days then a celebration is needed I suppose :)

What’s the new stadium in Perth like for away teams now the Fremantle Doctor is no longer a concern for the players?

Will there be highlights on terrestrial TV?

Pretty sure that Vaughan has been part of the BT commentary team for the Aussie tests, in the past ?

Not this time though, surely ?

Has Glenn come out with his normal 5-0 Aussies prediction, yet ?

I don't think it has been confirmed yet but the commentary is likely to be from Fox Sports with BT having studio coverage from London between sessions.

Fair enough you have little time for him, as i have lost a fair amount of respect for him as well.
To say he's beyond average is a bit of a stretch though considering he averages 32 with the bat which is comparable to nearly your entire batting list bar Root and Stokes. Think he's only 5 runs behind Stokes as well. Root is a brilliant player so no comparison there obviously.

Paine is a good player and I thought he let Smith run the show last time Australia played here which kind of made him look weak.

Number 7 is a specialist role and I rather Paine play for Australia than some young kid who wants to make a name for himself (my logic anyway)

He has been quite this time. I am sure he will

I just love it when he says that.

He may be 5 behind in averages but all other stats point to Paine not being fit to lace Mr Stokes sweaty boots.

Too busy posing with dead buffalo, dead hyenas & elephant tusks....

Wasn't my point. Those two are the only quality players you have in front of him in terms of test average.

Agreed. Last thing we need is another Lagershandy popping up.

I see the chair of Tasmania has supported Paine in his sending of unwanted dick pics.

His name?

Gaggin, yes Gaggin' for it

I had little time well before this escapade of his became apparent. He’s a dickhead. His sledging is shit (see the india series). . His off field chat is shit (calling out Root and the England team and now he’s the one least likely to play).
He’s nothing but a brown nose to Langer. Watching him in the documentary is cringe worthy at times.
He’s a shit captain (see Ben Stokes at Headingley).

I don’t think many of our players are that good either, so that’s a pointless comparison.

And he’s an experienced player while many of our batting line up aren’t. He’s rarely made score that impact a game either (though he’d gained a couple more lately).

Unfortunately Australia will be better without him.

I’m not sure your stats are wholly correct either.

Paines average is 32.6

Bairstow (33.7)
Butler (33.3)
Hameed (35.9)
Root (50ish)
Stokes (35)

You’ve then got Pope and Burns both literally fractions below Paine.
Both who’ve played a lot of matches on less batsmen friendly pitches.

Gotta hope the Aussies look down on us as they usually do and let their guard down.

Well they’ll most certainly do the former.

Pissing down in Brisbane

How did I miss this? Apparently Lee and Gillespie enjoy "hunting" too.

https://static.ffx.io/images/$zoom_1...84495643736d96

A grade turd

Apparently Fox Sports has retained him, so he can spew more rubbish to BT viewers this winter

Wonder what odds you'd get on Wood, Broad and Anderson playing all five tests.

'Vaughany' not involved with BBC coverage of the Ashes.

REJOICE.

That's certainly one in the eye for those who think racism is always a bad thing.

Tim Paine played his first game since his neck operation, hoping to put the recent sexting scandal behind him.
Unfortunately he got out his second ball.

Sorry, that should read got out second ball! :)

Watching some old Ashes stuff and Brad Haddin, around 2010, says England ‘are not great winners’.

Pot and fvcking kettle or what?

Suppose his views are just fair dinkum Down Under :angel:

:)

Like it

Has Tim Paine ever dismissed Quinton De Cock?

Yeah, he stumped him off the bowling of David Willey…

Turns out that’s not the first time he got de Cock out.

We seem to have taken the UK weather with us to Brisbane

We are currently seeing the biggest weather front in my 40 years here in Australia. It stretches 4,000 Kilometers! Just misses Melbourne, but wraps around from Darwin all the way down the East Coast, all of the Queensland coast and inland about 500ks, All of NSW Coast and inland circa 300 ks and most of the East Coast of Victoria.

It's going to be a wet summer they reckon. La Nina weather event happening this year.

https://au.news.yahoo.com/la-nina-we...072122921.html

I mean, Australia's massive, looking at that storm the whole country is getting wet bar WA!

Has anyone looked at a BT monthly pass? I binned BT Sport a year or so ago (2-3 Palace matches a year didn't justify the cost) but looked at this today. But it implies it only works on the BT Sport App or Web, which doesn't really rock my boat too much. It suggests it doesn't add on to the Sky package?

You'll need to get it through Sky I believe?

That will be fun - trying to navigate their crap Black Friday obsessed page about a possible Q upgrade at the moment!

I got Bt sport and I went through BT for that and all you do is update the app it let BT know your SkY details.

I bought mine 4 years ago mind

Yeah, I had the TV version for several years linked to Sky until their prices got silly for what they actually had on offer. I’ve watched stuff on the App on the iPad so I may get one month and see how it goes, but £25 (not like they are exploiting a captive cricket market eh?).

Yup and hope they do a deal for cricket only say 2 months efc

….at least not ‘for the foreseeable future’ :p

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/cricket/59345925

Oh, & one of the cheats is, unsurprisingly, back as VC…

https://www.theguardian.com/sport/20...om-all-cricket

We've had an absolute soaking here. The kids' (and my) summer football comp is Wednesday / Thursday / Friday evenings, and last night it was raining absolute stair-rods while the boys played. Games were only on because it's artificial pitches. We've had 4 weeks of 3 sessions, and including tonight I reckon it's been raining for 8 of those 12 sessions. BORED OF IT! :mad:

Re Ashes, I believe it's on Fox Cricket, so for a change I'll be able to watch it.

Pat Cummins new Australian captain.

Tough one to swallow for Pain

Paine to spend more time with his phone’s camera

Two years after, when you think you’ve gotten away with it…

https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/202...a08f1b24d3.jpg


Two years later, when you realise you’re about to be rumbled….

https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/202...5e40612f2c.jpg

What a ****.

Just watching the Amazon documentary. It’s hilarious. Unintentionally.

All those interminable meetings where they say everything and nothing at the same time. :D

Aww, poor Timmy.

Bye

And he was giving it large only a few weeks back. Oh bless him :D

Bit of a shame really. His absence will make the Aussies stronger. Still a rather ignominious end to an international career

I am watching that too it is hilarious

I think so, Paine wasn't good enough, the Aussies will no doubt be stronger without him. Especially so if they pick the English keeper Inglis

https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/202...0be19e48c6.jpg
[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

Yes I agree.

I think to be dropped for sexting is bit unfair. Fine him or maybe ban him from one game.

Assuming he was dropped for that and not for his form

:D

It's a crying shame :sob:

For REAL men, these Aussies do blub a lot. We take defeat on the chin :D

One possible replacement for Paine could be Josh Inglis, born in Leeds, United Kingdom.
I do wish these nations would produce their own talent.

England bowler Wood 'would love to stick one up' Australia and 'this baggy green thing'

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/cricket/59389486

That's us losing 5-0 then

Not until The Big Game Hunter says so....

Hmmm, not sure I like that sort of bravado. Within the group, yes. To the press, no. Setting yourself up for a fall.

Quite. It’s a brainless comment. Keep your mouth shut & grab yourself a five-fer, if you can stay fit long enough.

Just been listening to the TMS special on all the massive amounts of prep that’s gone into this from England. Kiboshed in an instant by old poppadom legs.

Yeah but Gr8 Banter tho innit. Can't wait for his video blog from Australia with all the top Banter from 'Woody' and Co.

I like me Jimmy Nail, Stokesy loves his PJ and Duncans and Rash is reet into his cooking. It’s mad.

Jeez. Think some of you are over reacting a bit to that comment.

It's only on the BBC site because they're promoting the podcast it was said on.

Those comments aren't going to make or break the way this series goes.

Another warm up day washout overnight. Weather continues to play a big part in preparations, looks as though England could potentially be severely undercooked going into the first Test.

I don’t recall a series abroad when England haven’t been undercooked

Maybe not. Just unnecessary fuel to the oppositions fire. Just stick the article on the dressing room wall.

I miss the days when there were a minimum of 3 warm up games before the first test on Ashes tours.

I saw a few county grounds I would never have visited without those games.

Australis haven't played a Test match in 11 months. But yes, at least they're playing some red ball cricket.

Hopefully the rubbish weather continues so we avoid the 5-0.

MCG going to get 2 Tests now that Perth looks dodgy, lockdown-wise?

Got to get the serious stuff out of the way pdq . So the hit and giggle can be got into .

Your wish on the weather may come true, a very wet summer has been predicted.

Both sides underdone. Only 5 Australians in the Test squad have actually played Red ball cricket in the last 6 months.
None of the 20/20 squad have played yet.

Mad, isn't it? But I would expect the Aussies to be able to adapt quickest to home conditions, especially the bowlers.

I think batting wise, it's simply a contest of Smith & Labuschagne vs Root. The others - on both sides - are, on the whole, just chaff.
Bowling wise, it's a different story.

Agree on the batting. Although world cricket is blessed with some exceptional bowling attacks right now. Groups that hunt in packs, perhaps we are giving current batting lineups a bad rap.

Always makes me slightly shudder for contemporary Ashes tours when you hear that England's army of analysts have organised and modelled the trip down to the last bowl of muesli. Never really seems to help.
Fat Gatt's "Can't Bat, Can't Bowl, Can't Field" clean-sweepers of 1986/7 only had about 3 back-up staff with them (and one of those was the coach driver who didn't really like cricket anyway)

Spot on. Without knowing about injury, form etc. I'm guessing that we'll see Hazelwood, Starc, Cummins & Lyon playing - & taking 20 wickets - regularly. Naming the Aus attack is easy enough.

I'm not sure England know their best bowling attack. Broad & Anderson, for sure, although of course the latter only bowled 4 overs in the whole of the 2019 series. Stokes, yes, but he's almost an accidental bowler these days. The role of 3rd pace bowler & spinner are very much undecided. Neither Wood & Archer are reliable, fitness-wise. Can't see Overton or Curran being effective Down Under. Woakes is a victim of the ongoing squad-rotation. I guess there are high hopes for Robinson who bowled really well in English conditions this summer.

Spinner-wise, I can't see Leach & Bess taking 10 wickets between them in the whole series. Neither of them can hold an end down.

I expect we'll see England play Anderson, Broad, Robinson, Woakes & Stokes in the 1st Test with Root as 'the spinner'.

All this just emphasises just how good the England pack of Hoggard, Harmison, Flintoff, Jones & Giles were in 2005. They really worked well as a collective unit.

Woakes is our best bowler avaiable. He has to play